


Changes

by Sweet_Babboo



Category: Whitechapel (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Gen, General, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-23 18:05:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 59,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7474395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweet_Babboo/pseuds/Sweet_Babboo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will Chandler ever realize Kent's feelings for him? Heavy focus from Kent's point of view. Takes place after Series 4.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Unexpected Turn

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my friends!
> 
> Got the itch to write again, especially since my first WC fanfic story "Someday" garnered over 10,000 views on Fanfiction.net! Bless you all for reading! I hope you will enjoy this next endeavor. I honestly didn't think I could crank out another one, so yay me! I plan for this story to be a multi-chapter one so buckle your seat belt and settle in. I am always interested in what you think. Enjoy!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Whitechapel belongs to ITV. Any other characters were created by me.

**Chapter 1: An Unexpected Turn**

* * *

D.C. Emerson Kent frowned in dissatisfaction at the reflection staring back at him in the mirror. His unruly dark curls were being especially uncooperative this morning and had that extra bounce. He looked like he had just woken up and stuck his finger in the electrical socket in the wall. Unfortunately, he didn't have time to tame them as he was running late. Kent frowned again as he assessed his appearance. He hated the way this particular hair style made him appear like a teenager again. There was nothing he could do, but sprinkle some water on his dark locks, run his fingers through, and call it a morning or else he would be really late. Oh well. At least his suit was presentable. There were no signs of wrinkles on his favorite charcoal-gray suit or on his light blue shirt, which he had meticulously ironed the night before. His ensemble may not have come from Savile Row, but at least he looked professional. Just like Chandler did. Kent then gave himself a gentle slap on the cheek to snap him out of his daydreams.

"Like he's ever going to notice how I look," he mumbled to himself as he headed out the door. Unfortunately in his rush to leave, Kent ripped the hem of his sleeve of his favorite dress shirt, causing the threads to unravel. This day couldn't possibly get worse.

* * *

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up for work this morning? That's not a good look, kid. And you lot always say I'm always late."

"Piss off, Mansell. Just because you're dating my sister doesn't give you license to make comments about my actions. You aren't exactly the paragon of virtue."

"My, aren't we touchy? I wouldn't take such a high and mighty attitude. The boss wanted you to come into his office as soon as you got in. And he didn't look too pleased."

"Lovely. Just what I needed," Kent muttered sarcastically under his breath. He took a quick glance at the DI's office and saw the serious look on Chandler's face, corroborating Mansell's story. It didn't inspire any confidence in Kent as he made his way across the room. He got an ominous feeling in the pit of his stomach that it was bad news. His aunt always said that he took after her side of the family with their psychic abilities. He hoped that she was wrong in this case.

"Excuse me, sir. I was told that you wanted to see me."

"Please sit down Kent. I have some important news for you."

"I'm sorry for being so late. It was inexcusable."

"Yes, it certainly was, but that's not the reason why I asked you to come into my office."

"Is something wrong? If you'll pardon me for saying so, you don't seem like your usual self this morning."

The older detective gave a wry smile. He could never hide his discomfort when it came to personal matters.

"I've always been honest with you Kent, so I'm not going to beat around the bush. The fact of the matter is, you've been temporarily assigned to another department. You'll be on loan to the South Yorkshire Police force working with DI Spencer's group up in Sheffield for the next four months."

"This is a joke, right? Oh I see now. Mansell must have put you up to this. I'm surprised you played along, sir."

"I assure you, this is no laughing matter."  
  
"You're serious?" Kent replied realizing with a sense of forbidding doom that he was being sent away.

"Quite serious. You're expected to report to Detective Sergeant Jack Lawson by the end of the week. Of course you'll need some time to get your affairs in order like finding a place to stay and moving up to Sheffield so I've already had a meeting with Miles to discuss how your duties will be shared among the other detectives in your absence. Everything has been settled."

"You decided all this before discussing it with me first?" Kent asked, his voice reflecting surprise and hurt. Didn't Chandler even think how this would affect him? Didn't he even care?

"Kent, get a hold of yourself. I didn't find out about this either until last night. Because of the urgency of the matter, there wasn't time to get in touch with you. It's not like I'm getting rid of you permanently. This is a resource issue and I have to abide by orders from the head office. The situation is out of my hands."

"I know that, sir. It's just…do you really want me to leave Whitechapel?"

"Of course I don't," Chandler answered in gentler tone. "But this isn't my decision. Sheffield needs another detective to help with their case load effective immediately. Since it's a temporary assignment, it makes sense to relocate an existing staff member from another district who is already familiar with procedures and standard protocol. I've previously worked with DI Spencer, who is in charge there and we have similar backgrounds. I'm sure you'll adapt to their system in no time."

"But why choose me to go? Surely there are more qualified DC's."

"You will be accomplishing two objectives. Besides helping another district in need, Commander Anderson believes that you need to be exposed to other environments to broaden your horizons and experience how other departments operate. After all, you've never worked anywhere else besides Whitechapel. Of course, you will be compensated for your accommodations on top of your regular salary."

"It's not the about the money, sir. What if I don't fit in with them? Maybe we won't get along."

"I don't think you have to worry about that, Kent. You're the most amiable person I know and I'm sure you'll be able to adjust. You'll be fine. Besides, it's only for four months. You'll be back here before you know it."

"With all due respect sir, I've done everything you've asked me to do without protest. I've never asked for anything up to this point. To be perfectly honest, I don't know if I can do this."

"I know that it's asking a lot from you on such short notice, but I wouldn't have agreed if I didn't think that you were the right person for the job. I know you'll do a good job for them as you've done here for us. I believe in you, Kent. And I know that you won't let me down."

"But I don't want to leave," Kent replied, looking at him sadly with those huge brown doe eyes.

"I understand your apprehension, but it's only temporary. Think of it as an adventure. You'll be in a new environment with people from different backgrounds and experiences. Who knows? Maybe you can even teach them a thing or two. Furthermore, you'll gain some favorable standing with the head office that may open new doors and opportunities for you in the future."

"You sound so eager to get rid of me," Kent replied ever so softly as he lowered his gaze downward to the floor. He couldn't hide the disappointment reflected in his voice.

"Nothing could be further from the truth. This is a business decision, Kent. What I feel is irrelevant to the situation."

Kent wished Chandler WOULD feel something; anything. It was as though he was implying that Kent was expendable and therefore, didn't need him in Whitechapel.

The young DC was silent for a moment before responding softly, "Yes, sir. I'd like to leave a little early today if that's all right with you. There are a lot of my affairs I need to get in order if I'll be moving to Sheffield by the end of the week."

Kent hated lying, but his emotions were in turmoil after being suddenly saddled with the news that he would be going away for an extended period of time. Needless to say, it was quite a shock for him.

"All right," Chandler replied a little uncertainly as he watched him leave. He was going to let the matter go, but at the last minute blurted out, "Kent, wait. I won't force you to go if you really don't want to do this. And if that's your decision, I won't think any less of you."

The younger man gripped his fists tightly against his sides, suppressing the urge to blurt out the truth. He couldn't very well admit the reason he didn't want to leave was because of Chandler, himself. Besides, if Kent protested, it would prove to everyone who still doubted his abilities that he couldn't handle being a detective constable. And he had worked too hard to lose his standing with the other team members to back out. More importantly, he didn't want to lose Chandler's confidence in him.

"I can handle it. Just had a touch of nerves. Excuse me, sir," Kent replied quickly turning away to make his exit.

Chandler frowned in concern. He had the feeling that Kent was holding back. Perhaps he felt cornered and couldn't say what was really on his mind for fear of reprisal. Kent always said and did the right things whenever he was given orders, but Chandler never really knew what his DC was thinking deep down. Lately, it felt like things were not right between them. Actually, it hadn't been right for some time. He hated to think that Kent had become disillusioned with his job. Or even worse, with Chandler himself.

* * *

"I'm taking off now, boss. Need anything before I go?"

"Nothing that can't wait until tomorrow, Miles. Good night."

"Right back at 'ya. I know this is a novel concept for you, but try to relax."

"I am ALWAYS relaxed...well, most of the time," Chandler replied with a wry expression on his face.

The older man laughed out loud as he turned to walk out of the incident room.

"On second thought, could you stay for a moment?"

Miles turned and walked back half-way.

"A moment and not a second longer. Judy's got a roast chicken for dinner and if I'm late, I'll be lucky if the kids leave me the bones. If they keep eating at this rate, I'll need to take out a loan just for the groceries alone."

"You've known Kent longer than I have. Do you think he's the type of person to speak his mind if something was really bothering him?"

"He may be a little reserved at times, but he's always worn his emotions on his sleeve. If he didn't agree with something, he would definitely tell you. Why do you ask?"

"Kent said that he was all right with going to Sheffield, but he hasn't been himself ever since I broke the news to him earlier this week."

"I can't say that I'm surprised. If he's been mopey these past few days, it's probably because he's going to be away from his favorite boss for such a long time," Miles replied astutely. "And I don't mean me."

"This isn't a joking matter," Chandler replied dismissively. "I wish you wouldn't make light of it."

"Who said I was joking?"

"Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to let him take on this assignment. Maybe it's too much for him. Judging by the way Kent initially reacted, he probably thinks that I want him to leave."

"Did he actually tell you that?"

"He didn't have to. Miles, I don't want Kent thinking that he's expendable. I just thought it would be a good career opportunity for him."

"Well, what do you know? You really do care about him."

"Was that ever in doubt?" Chandler replied in slight annoyance.

"I was beginning to wonder. You know, I'm sure he'd perk right up if knew how you're feeling about the whole situation. After all, you have such a way about you."

"I'm being serious here."

"So am I. In all the time that I've known you, this is the first time I've seen you like this."

"Like what?"

"Being anxious and worrying over the one person who absolutely worships the ground you walk on. It's too bad Kent isn't here to see this. I think he'd faint from the shock."

"I'm just concerned because he's a member of my team. As I would be with any other members of the group."

"You wouldn't be this concerned if it was anyone else and you know it. Kent is important to you. Anyone can see that."

"Don't you have to go home?" Chandler replied in irritation.

Miles laughed again before giving Chandler a gentle clap on the shoulder.

"Don't worry about Kent. He's a big boy and can take care of himself. He's a professional, you know. Besides, it's only going to be four months. If he can survive that whole Kray business, he can handle anything. He put up with you all these years, didn't he? He deserves a badge of courage for that alone."

"You really have a way of making a person feel better," Chandler replied dryly.

* * *

Kent turned to look up at Chandler's office from the courtyard with longing. It was the night before his departure and he would have given anything in the world if the older man told him that he would be missed during his temporary reassignment. It would have given Kent a glimmer of hope and make the days less lonely being away from him. Instead Kent was indeed alone and worrying about the future. He should have listened to his instincts and avoided Chandler like the plague when he realized that he was falling in love with his boss. It was never a good idea to fall for a straight guy, especially someone as complicated and difficult as Joseph Chandler who had enough hangups for the both of them. And then there was that issue of him being his boss that made Kent's situation all the more complicated.

It wasn't like Kent had planned for it to happen. It just…did. He found himself drawn to Chandler like a moth to a flame from the moment they met. His mother often said that you don't always get to choose the person you fall in love with. No truer words were ever spoken. Kent had always been a level-headed person who kept his feelings on the down low. He had never been prone to falling in and out of love easily, unlike his twin sister, Erica. But he knew in his heart of hearts that his feelings were not fleeting or superficial this time. It was the real deal. Kent was in love with Detective Inspector Joseph Chandler.

At first Kent thought it really was just an infatuation that would eventually go away. After all, these kinds of emotions were fleeting, especially with the mentor-student type of relationship they had with each other. But with Chandler, it was different. He thought his feelings for Chandler would go away, but they didn't. In fact, they only intensified over time, making Kent realize that it was useless to deny his feelings any longer. Chandler was everything Kent aspired to be in every way. His imposing presence, his calm and cool demeanor, his sense of right and wrong, and his unrelenting determination in the face of adversity, gave Kent the impetus to become a better detective and to strive for perfection. Any words of encouragement or praise, or even the slightest touch from Chandler made Kent feel like he was on cloud nine.

To be honest, it was a rather vexing situation to be in. Kent wished that he had the courage to just come out and say how he felt, but if he did, it could potentially drive Chandler away forever and Kent couldn't risk that. Up to this point, he had been perfectly happy to wait and let his unrequited feelings remain unrequited preferring to worship Chandler from afar, waiting patiently for an opportunity to arise. But it had been far from easy, what with the crazy murder cases and the drama of dealing with Chandler's recent amorous adventures. It wasn't as if Kent hadn't tried to make his feelings known to Chandler. On a whim, he had invited Chandler out to the pub to have a drink, albeit in a clumsy half-handed way in the guise of a group function. It had taken every ounce of courage Kent had to make the first move. He had been thrilled that Chandler actually accepted, thinking he would automatically decline. Unfortunately, either by fate or just bad luck, Chandler never got a chance to follow through on his promise. Now that they would be apart for several months, the feeling of dread that someone would come into Chandler's life and steal his affections constantly loomed over Kent like a dark storm cloud. After all, it wouldn't be the first time that happened.

After one last look, Kent left the station feeling as though it would be the last time. Although he would miss Chandler terribly, perhaps this temporary assignment was a blessing in disguise. It would give some space between them and would also give Kent time to think and reassess his options. After all, there was only so much rejection a person could take.

* * *

"Hello there. You're that new detective from Whitechapel, right?" a cute redhead with a pixie haircut asked Kent after his orientation with his new head boss, DI Spencer.

"That's right. I'm DC Kent. Looking forward to working with you," he replied shaking her outstretched hand.

"Likewise. Got a first name?"

"Uh, Emerson," he replied uncomfortably after the woman moved her hand up and gently gripped his chin.

"Emerson, hm? That's a unique name. You're kind of cute," she replied turning his head side to side as if examining a fine specimen. "I'm DC Collins, but everyone calls me Casey."

"Nice to meet you. Is there any particular reason why you're touching me like this?"

"I've never seen anyone with eyes like yours. They're gorgeous," she replied unashamedly as she removed her hand. "By the way, are you with anyone at the moment?"

"Um, well, I…uh…that is, I…" Kent replied nervously as he tried to back away.

"All right. Back off, Casey. It's DC Kent's first day with us you know. We don't want you driving off another one," an older man's voice came from behind them. He was a tall man, probably in his late-forties with slightly graying hair around the sides and temples of his raven colored cropped hair. There were definite signs that he had been handsome in his youth. His stern voice was tinged with humor as he spoke, making Kent relax. "Now run along. I'm sure you can find something more productive to do than harassing the staff."

"Tch," the younger woman replied in annoyance as she was shooed off by the detective sergeant.

"Sorry about that. I'm Detective Sergeant Jack Lawson. Let me officially welcome you to Sheffield, DC Kent. We've heard so many good things about you from DI Chandler."

"Thank you, sir. Glad to be of service."

"Hope you won't mind starting right off the bat on your first day."

"Not at all. I'm ready whenever you are. DI Chandler said that your department has been swamped lately."

"He wasn't kidding. It's like everyone decided to cause trouble all at once. We're grateful for any help you can lend us. How about I give you a tour of the place and then brief you on our current caseload?

"All right. But before we continue, does that always happen with newcomers?"

"What? You mean Casey? Oh don't mind her. She's just trying to make me jealous. We've been dating for five years and she does this whenever we have an argument. She thinks that it works every time."

Kent's eyes widened in obvious surprise at the older man's candor about his relationship with his much younger colleague.

"Are you so surprised that someone like her would be together with an old fart like me?" Jack replied teasingly.

"That's not what I was thinking at all, sir! It's just that I'm surprised you would be so open about your relationship in the workplace. Aren't you worried about what people will say?"

"It's not earth-shattering news around here. Besides, everyone pretty much minds their own business. I'm a very pragmatic man, DC Kent. I don't believe in standing on ceremony and I couldn't care less what people think. Besides, they know me well enough that I would never put personal business before work. The same goes for Casey."

Kent gave a wry grin. He sounded a lot like DS Miles, minus the coarse language.

"She and I have nothing to hide, but we also try not to let our personal issues interfere with work. Today is one of the few exceptions."

"It must be nice to be able to work with someone you care about without having to worry about fear of reprisal." Kent's heart tightened even as he spoke those words.

"It can be a blessing and a curse. But enough of this. You didn't come here just to get the local gossip. Let's get down to work, shall we? Or else DI Spencer will have us drawn and quartered."

"I heard that, Jack. And don't give DC Kent the wrong impression about us," DI Spencer commented loudly from his office. It's bad enough that he has to work with YOU. I don't want him thinking we're all assholes around here."

Jack snickered in response. The verbal exchange and teasing between DS Lawson and DI Spencer and showed the easy-going rapport they had with each other, making Kent feel immediately at ease. They reminded him so much of Miles and Chandler. Kent sighed heavily. It was only the first day away and he already missed Whitechapel. For more reasons than one.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Upload date: 12July2016

Always love to hear from you!


	2. Life in Sheffield

**Chapter 2: Life in Sheffield**

* * *

Kent rubbed his eyes briefly with the back of his fingers to wipe the sleep from them, unable to stifle a yawn. It had only been two weeks since he began working in Sheffield and already had to work several long shifts. But in spite of the heavy workload and the discomfort of being away from home and unfamiliar surroundings, he managed to blend in seamlessly and was getting used to his new co-workers and the way things operated. At least with the busy work schedule, it kept his mind off of missing Chandler. But not quite entirely.

"Emerson, I'm going out for a bite to eat. Do you want to join me?" Casey asked later that same day.

"What about DS Lawson?"

"What about him?" she replied disdainfully.

"Wouldn't he be a more suitable companion for you? After all, you two are dating."

"Oh. So you found out about us, did you?"

"I couldn't help it. He told me himself on my first day here. I'm sure he wouldn't mind keeping you company."

"Humph. I have no desire to eat with that man right now. He's being stubborn about our fight and I don't want to eat by myself."

"I'd love to oblige, but I shouldn't get involved. Besides, I'm working on the assignment he gave me."

"You still have to eat, don't you? Come on. I'll buy. It'll be my way of apologizing for what happened on your first day here. I'm afraid that I have a very strong personality and I can be overbearing at times."

"That's very nice of you to offer. Well, I guess this can wait until after lunch."

"Good. I'm glad you're not mad. I was afraid I had put my foot in it again and scared you off. Jack would have really gotten mad at me if that happened."

"I don't scare off that easily. And why should I be mad?"

"Well, I did put you in an uncomfortable position. I'm really sorry about that. Forgive me?"

"I appreciate the thought, but there's really no need to apologize."

"You're sweet. To be honest, I was trying to get back at Jack. We had a "slight disagreement" that morning you first came here and I'm afraid my temper got the better of me. If he wasn't so good in bed I swear we would have been through ages ago."

"I don't think I need to know that much about your relationship," Kent added quickly as he pretended to sort some paperwork on his desk.

"Are you blushing Detective Constable Kent?" she asked in disbelief. "You are, aren't you?"

"Can you blame me? It's not like these situations occur very often where I came from," he replied uncomfortably.

"Aww. You really are as cute as you look," Casey replied linking her arm through Kent's as she forcefully pulled him along with her. "Come on, then. We haven't got all day."

"I have a feeling I'm going to regret this," Kent thought to himself with forbidding doom.

* * *

"You've been in love with someone for almost six years and he doesn't even know?" Casey asked loudly, drawing the attention of some patrons in the restaurant who looked in their direction with curiosity.

"Shhh! Not so loud," Kent hissed in embarrassment.

After downing a rather large glass of beer, his tongue had loosened to the point where he was sharing his personal heartache with the older detective. He had forgotten how easily he could succumb to alcohol and its effects. Fortunately, he managed to keep Chandler's name out of the conversation. Thank heaven for small favors.

"You poor thing. I know it's not easy trying to hide your feelings when you have to work with that person all of the time and they don't even notice you."

Kent ran his finger around the rim of his glass. "It's hell sometimes," he admitted softly.

"Why don't you just come out and tell him how you feel? Anything's got to be better than what you're going through right now. What have you got to lose?"

"It's not that simple, Casey. This person is different. He's not like anyone else."

"Yeah, yeah. That's what they all say."

"In my case it happens to be especially true. He isn't exactly the easiest person to get along with. On top of that, he's a perfectionist and a neat freak. That's just the tip of the iceberg."

"Sounds like a charming man," she replied sarcastically. "I bet he's the life of the party."

"That doesn't change how I feel. He may be stubborn, but that's only because he stands so firmly behind his convictions and that he cares so much, even to his own detriment. And even though he doesn't really express himself well, I know that he would take a bullet for anyone without a second thought for his own safety. There's also a tiny little detail I forgot to mention."

"Don't tell me. He's already got a boyfriend?"

"If only. I'm afraid he's not interested in men. Me least of all."

The older woman's expression softened in sympathy. "You poor thing. You've got it real bad, haven't you? It's got to be rough."

"Is it really all that noticeable?" Kent asked miserably.

Casey nodded understandingly. "It wasn't that hard to tell."

"You must think I'm really pitiful, having feelings for someone who doesn't even know I'm alive."

"Of course I don't think that. You can't help how you feel. It's his loss if he doesn't realize what he's missing out on."

Kent replied with a short deprecating laugh. "Thanks for boosting my self-esteem. I don't know why I'm even telling you this. It's not like it's going to change anything."

"Because it always helps to share your burdens. It's not easy hiding your feelings from the person you care about and worrying about how they'll react. It's like you're caught between a rock and a hard place. But you shouldn't have to regret how you feel. After all, you're only human."

"Sometimes I wonder about that."

"Listen to me, Emerson. I know what you're going through."

"No, you don't. Nobody does."

"Oh, no? Jack and I fought like cats and dogs when we first met. He was a stuffy old prick who was always going by the book and I was a headstrong, young, know-it-all who thought we should approach our cases by any means possible. With our polar views and personalities, we were bound to clash. After a while, it was apparent that we had good intentions and just wanted to solve the cases at hand. The more time we spent together, the more we began to see each others' strengths and weaknesses. After a while, we realized that it was useless to fight our feelings for each other. And the rest is history."

"I'm afraid it's always been a one way thing in my case. I wish I could just walk away. I keep telling myself to give him more time and let him figure it out on his own. That maybe he'll change for me. I'm not exactly what he's looking for in a partner, but I know that we could be good together if he would just give it a chance. Unfortunately, I can't do anything at the moment, except to wait patiently."

"You're sweet, but a little naïve. Do you really think that things will change by doing absolutely nothing?"

"I'd rather do nothing than risk the chance that he'll react badly and hate me. I really don't think I could handle that."

"Do you mind if I give you some friendly advice?"

"Do I have a choice?" Kent replied dryly.

"I'm being serious here. From what you've told me about your situation and the current state of affairs, perhaps it would be in your best interest if you find someone else to lavish your affections on."

"Easier said than done. I've tried, but it's no use. I don't want anyone else except him."

"I hate to tell you this, but you may not have a choice."

"Meaning what, exactly?" he demanded.

"I mean that if you've spent so much time and energy pining after someone that has never shown any bit of interest in you after all this time, there's a good chance he probably won't in the future. I'm afraid you're just subjecting yourself to more heartache and disappointment if the situation remains the way that it is."

"Why in the world would you care what happens to me? I'm practically a stranger to you."

"I may have only known you for a short time Emerson, but I hate to see anyone suffer the way you obviously are. I don't want to keep piling on you, but you have to face the possibility that this person you're in love with may never return your feelings."

"Don't you think I know that already? I've been aware of that obvious fact from the very beginning."

"Then why torment yourself? You're hanging on to this guy like a security blanket. I get it if you're hung up on the guy. But it doesn't mean you can't see other people in the mean time."

"I don't go for the casual fling. That's not my style. I'm fine with things the way they are, Casey."

"So you're fine with putting your life on hold for this one person who doesn't know how deeply you care about him? It's not as though you couldn't find someone else. You're a smart and attractive young man. Anyone would be crazy not to want to be with you."

"Then I guess I must be attracted to crazy people. Just my luck, huh?"

"This pattern of behavior isn't healthy, Emerson. It's like you're a glutton for punishment."

Kent stared at his now empty glass of beer. "It'll be worth it if it means a chance to be with him. My feelings won't change. No matter what anyone says."

"I guess there's no use trying to change your mind. Just let me ask one last question. Has this person ever shown affection for you? Does he treat you like you're special? Does he even notice you at all?"

"That's more than one question."

"Emerson," Casey implored in a more gentle tone of voice. "I hate seeing you like this. Don't keep torturing yourself hoping for something that isn't there. You're only setting yourself up for more disappointment and heartache. And you're much too nice of a person to have to deal with that. Speaking from personal experience, having a relationship based on mutual respect and admiration sure as hell beats a one-sided affair any day. You know in your heart that I'm right."

If Kent was honest with himself, he had to admit that the only time Chandler ever really showed concern for his well-being was when he got striped a few years ago. More than likely, Chandler probably felt responsible for what happened only because Kent got hurt on the job. Other than that, he kept Kent at a healthy distance from him; sometimes even coldly dismissing him altogether like the time with Morgan Lamb or when he got into some scuffles with Mansell at the station. Whenever they were at group social functions, it was like pulling teeth trying to get Chandler to let his guard down and open up to him. He always felt like Chandler kept this invisible wall between them refusing to allow Kent into his world. Their relationship had always been one-sided. Kent had always known that in his heart, but that didn't stop him from falling for him.

Chandler wasn't like that with Miles though. He could talk to the older man about anything and he quite often did. At first, Kent thought it was due to the fact that Chandler didn't feel comfortable confiding his innermost thoughts to his much younger junior officer. It was understandable since Miles was second in command. But the more that Kent dwelt on it, the more he realized that Chandler didn't have the same trust in him as he did with Miles. It was a sobering thought that made Kent's heart clench in pain. He never realized just how insecure his relationship with Chandler had been…until now. For the first time, a tiny seed of doubt was planted in his mind.

"Not all of us have the same luxury that you do, Casey. And anyway, I don't need any of that sentimental rubbish. Just being near him is enough for me," Kent replied softly.

"Yes, but for how much longer? Are you going to spend the rest of your life waiting for someone who may never be within your reach? Don't you want a meaningful relationship with someone who will make you feel cherished and shower you with adoration?"

Kent was unable to respond. Ever since the handsome and dynamic detective inspector came to Whitechapel, Kent's outlook had changed forever. Before Chandler came, Kent had no real purpose. Work was just a necessary chore. But that changed when when Chandler got him involved as an active participant. He would often bounce ideas off of him or ask for his input. Kent began to realize that he could make difference, which only fueled his confidence. And it was all because of Chandler. Kent never really considered about how his life would be like without him. It was too frightening to even consider. But like Casey said, he may just have to accept that possibility whether he liked it or not.

* * *

"You've got that look on your face again," Miles remarked observantly.

"What look?" Chandler asked in confusion as he came back to his office with a fresh cup of tea with Miles by his side.

"Admit it. You miss the kid."

"If you're referring to Kent, you couldn't be more mistaken. I was thinking about something else."

"You mean to tell me that in almost a month, you haven't thought about him even once? You're under oath, you know."

"I'm not on trial here. And I reserve the right to remain silent. Off the record, you wouldn't be that far off the mark."

Miles seated himself opposite of Chandler's desk, making himself comfortable. "That's what I thought. So call him up already. If I know Kent, I bet he's probably been waiting anxiously to hear from you."

"I can't do that. He'll think that I'm checking up on him."

"Your point being?"

"You don't understand. I told him that had faith in him. If I were to call him up now, he'll think that I don't trust him."

"You know what your problem is?"

"I'm sure you're going to tell me," Chandler replied sarcastically as he settled in his chair behind his desk.

"You think too much. Stop being so wishy-washy and just do what you want without over-thinking it to death. You don't have to justify every little thing, you know."

"I do NOT over think things to death, Miles."

"If I had a tenner for every time you said that, I could retire. Relax. There's no need to fret over Kent. He's stronger than he looks. After all, I taught him well."

"You certainly did," Chandler replied softly. "I know I'm being over anxious. It's just that Kent was so despondent the last time I saw him. I saw that same look on his face that time I accused him of being the mole during the Kray case. I'll never forget it as long as I live. I don't want him to think that I have any lingering doubts about him or his abilities. Just between us, I sometimes wonder if Kent has any lingering effects from his attack."

"If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, then you're way off base. Kent's not going to snap under pressure. After what he went through, he's proven that he can handle anything."

"Still, I get the feeling sometimes that he's not being completely honest with me."

"Sounds like someone I know," Miles quipped. "Stop fretting like a mother hen. He's probably just busy right now. Didn't you say that Sheffield was overwhelmed at the moment? Isn't that the whole point of him being up there now?"

Chandler nodded his head in agreement. "You're right. I'm just acting like an idiot."

"Can I get that in writing? It could come in handy someday."

Chandler laughed briefly. "Get going. Dr. Llewellyn is waiting for you at the morgue with an update."

"All right, I get the hint. Hey, if it bothers you that much, just call Kent right now. You know you want to."

"OUT," Chandler ordered more firmly this time.

* * *

Later that night, as Chandler was doing his usual nightly rounds binning the trash from everyone's desk, he stopped in his tracks when he came to Kent's area. It was strange. Other than Miles, Kent was probably the second person in Whitechapel that he was closest to, and yet he still didn't know much about him. Much of that was probably Chandler's fault. The older man felt a slight pang of regret as he thought about his relationship with his youngest subordinate. Kent was always trying to emulate Chandler in hopes of one day becoming like him. But in the past two years, Chandler seemed to have less patience with him especially when Kent intruded into his personal life on more than one occasion. He remembered even being downright nasty to Kent several times, brought upon by other factors. Maybe it was the stress of their high profile and often brutal nature of their cases. Or perhaps, it was more to the point that Kent seemed to take an interest in his boss's personal affairs far more than any detective constable should.

First it was with DI Norroy where Chandler first started to notice the change. He could tell that Kent did not particularly care for her presence. But then again, neither did most of the staff. Then, there was that unfortunate time he blew up at Kent for calling him out on his feelings for Morgan Lamb. It had been the first time that Chandler actually had to reprimand Kent. And although he had been cold towards his youngest DC, it wasn't personal. He had just been frustrated at not being able to understand why Kent had behaved so unprofessionally. Kent had always behaved like the model detective constable without making waves or questioning Chandler's authority.

In the beginning, it was flattering as well as comforting to have someone who believed and supported Chandler, considering the turbulent first few months of his tenure as the new DI in Whitechapel. He not only appreciated Kent's support, but in all honesty, he needed it as well being the new kid on the block. So when Kent had seemed dead set against Morgan Lamb, it had put him on the defensive. In Chandler's eyes, Kent was not only questioning his authority, he was also questioning his judgment for the first time. Perhaps that was why he angrily reprimanded Kent when he called him out on his feelings for Morgan. Well, there was also the fact that Kent had stuck his nose into his personal business. Still, it was inexcusable on Chandler's part for flying off the handle the way he did. As lead officer, he should have kept his cool and reacted accordingly in a composed manner instead of reacting based on personal feelings. Kent always supported him even when it came to his own detriment. The least he could have done was not jump down his throat. Instead, Chandler had treated Kent like…well, like a subordinate. And although they had moved forward from that incident, things had never been quite the same between them again.

Chandler skimmed his fingers gently across the top of Kent's desk. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Kent's mug still rested in its usual place and everything on the surface was clean and tidy even down to the position of his pens. Just the way Chandler liked it. It was strange how empty the office was without without Kent around. This was the first time they had ever been apart for an extended period of time. If Chandler was honest with himself, he had to admit that he did indeed miss Kent. He missed his cheeky smile which brightened up the often dark and gloomy atmosphere of the incident room. He missed the way Kent was able lift his spirits up at his low points, whether it was due to his infectious enthusiasm or his unwavering faith in his commanding officer. Chandler never met anyone who believed so purely and earnestly in him as Kent did even though he had every reason not to. And just like Miles, Kent had always been there like a port in a storm. Whatever shortcomings Kent had, his good points far outweighed any shortcomings.

"Come back soon," Chandler replied softly before leaving the empty office.

* * *

"Kent, your phone is ringing," DS Lawson reminded Kent as they were having a meeting in his office.

"Sorry, sir," he replied fumbling in his pocket to silence his phone.

"No worries. Go ahead and answer it," the older detective replied. "We're still waiting for the forensic report anyway."

Kent's heart beat rapidly against his chest as he recognized the number after stepping into the hallway. After one long month that felt like a year, Chandler finally contacted him. Kent paused as he considered whether or not to take the call. He was torn between wanting to hear Chandler's voice again and maintaining his resolve to try and wean himself away from his dependency on him as well. After some adjustment to his new environment, Kent had gotten used to life in Sheffield and that included being apart from the object of his affections. But if he answered and heard Chandler's voice again, he knew that he would surely fall back into that same old routine again.

"Oh good lord, it's just a phone call," he chastised himself silently. "Surely you can handle that."

Kent was about to answer when his phone stopped ringing giving him a convenient escape. He sighed in relief as the crisis averted. Trying to get Chandler out of his system was much harder than anticipated. It was easy for Casey to speak so casually on the subject. She already had someone who returned her feelings. Kent wasn't so fortunate. Besides, he couldn't fall out of love at the snap of his fingers. That just wasn't in his nature. How do you give up on someone after investing your emotions in that person for so long? How do you move on when you still have to work with them day in and day out and remain unaffected? Chandler had been his first serious infatuation that had lasted to this degree and for so long. Only a sign above would make Kent give up on him.

At the end of the day Kent was grateful not to have to work another long shift. It was physically and mentally draining on him, evidenced by the way his shoulders sagged in exhaustion as he collapsed belly first onto the sofa in his modest, temporary flat. He didn't know how long he stayed in that position as he closed his eyes and let the peace and quiet of his solitude wash over him after a hard day's work. It was nice to have a moment to himself without the pressures of work and the situation with Chandler looming in his mind. Kent was about to doze off when his mobile phone buzzed an incoming text message alert startling him to alertness. To his surprise, it was from Chandler, himself.

"I know you must be busy, but just wanted to let you know that you are missed. I know you're doing a fine job, but don't work too hard. We still need you back here. Take care."

Kent stared at his phone for a long time, contemplating on whether or not he should reply. He was about to delete Chandler's message, but stopped mid-way and let out a deep sigh, opting to keep it instead. He flopped over onto his back and put his arm over his eyes in defeat.

"I'm utterly hopeless."

**To be continued**

* * *

Upload date: 13July2016 PST

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Churning out chapters like there's no tomorrow! Hope to get the next one posted very soon. Cheers!


	3. Bar Talk

**Chapter 3: Bar Talk**

* * *

The days passed swiftly as Kent tried to work through his feelings after Chandler's unexpected message of encouragement. Other than working through the back log of cases, Kent was grateful for the diversion that work provided. For the better part of the day, Kent could put Chandler out of his mind. It was at night however, that it was the hardest when he was alone with his thoughts. He felt like he was on a see-saw as far as his emotions were concerned. One minute he was determined to break away from Chandler, and then the next, he would fall back to his old ways and hold on to the hope that the older detective would eventually see him as more than just his subordinate. The vicious cycle kept on perpetuating itself over and over again. Kent had gone back and forth so many times that he had lost count. Even HE wanted to slap himself for his constant flip-flopping. The things people do when they're in love.

"Emerson? Emerson, did you hear me?" a familiar voice asked in front of Kent. He hadn't noticed that Casey had been standing there waiting for his response.

"Sorry. What can I do for you?"

"I am giving you the honor of being the first to congratulate me," Casey stated happily as she perched herself against Kent's desk.

"What am I congratulating you for?"

"Notice anything different?" she replied placing her hand underneath her chin, slightly flexing her fourth finger on her left hand and showing off a sparkling diamond ring. It was her idea of being subtle.

"You dyed your hair again?" he asked feigning innocence.

"I'll have you know that this is all natural. Well, most of it anyway. Look a little closer," the redhead replied sticking her hand in front of Kent's face so that he got a good look.

"Oh yeah! Why didn't I see it before? You got a manicure too."

"Emerson Kent, you've got the worst eyesight ever."

He chuckled softly. "So the DS finally proposed, did he? Congratulations. When's the happy event?"

"It's already happened. We eloped over the weekend."

"Seriously?" Kent replied with his eyes widening as large as saucers.

"Seriously. At first I thought Jack was teasing me, but here's the proof," Casey replied happily eyeing her ring. "And it's all thanks to you."

"Me? What did I do?"

"After talking with you about your situation, it made me realize how childish and idiotic I was being with Jack. You reminded me of how fortunate I am to be able to be with the man that I love. We made up not too long ago."

"So that's why he's in a such a good mood lately. I didn't think that DS Lawson was so spontaneous. Marriage is a big step, isn't it?"

"I thought so as well, but he said that he's been giving some serious thought about our future for some time. In his own words, and I quote, 'I guess the only way to make sure you stay out of trouble is for me to marry you.' I thought he was kidding, but then he whipped out this little bauble and slipped it on my finger."

"I take it that it didn't take long to give your answer?" Kent asked softly.

"I didn't have to think twice. We've been together so long that the ring was just a formality, but Jack insisted we go all the way and make it official."

"Congratulations Casey. I'm sure you and DS Lawson will be very happy together."

"Thanks. Just between us, I think Jack has been jealous of you ever since we went out together for lunch that time."

"Jealous? Of me?" Kent replied in disbelief. "But that was over a month ago and we only went out to lunch that one time. Why would he be jealous when I'm interested in someone else?"

"You see the funny thing about that is, he kind of got the impression that you were interested in me even though I was already spoken for and that you were just too shy to tell me."

Kent almost spit out his tea after taking a sip. "I wonder where he got that idea from?" Kent asked sarcastically. He then gave her an accusing glare. "Casey, you DID correct him, didn't you?"

"I didn't see the harm in letting Jack sweat a little. But I came clean with him and told him the truth. Are you mad at me?"

"Well, I can't argue with the end results. Especially not with you flashing that rock back and forth like it was the Hope Diamond. I guess I'm not mad."

Casey reached over and squeezed his hand. "You're the best, Emerson. Thanks to you, I'm the happiest woman in the world."

"What's going on here Kent? Trying to monopolize my wife?" DS Lawson remarked sternly as he walked over to them. "Sorry, but that's my job from now on."

"I hear congratulations are in order, sir."

"Thank you. I'm sure I'll live to regret the decision," the older man joked. "Oh well. They say that misery loves company, right?"

Casey was about to retort angrily, but then smiled when she regarded the look in her husband's eyes.

"Kent, why don't you join us for a little celebration after work? A few of us were planning on going to a pub called The Devonshire Cat. Don't let the cutesy name fool you. It's a great hangout and has something for everyone."

"I'm afraid that I'm not a very good drinker. I would be terrible company."

"Oh, go on. They have a great selection of ale and beer and the food's not bad. It's a popular spot with a lot of cute guys," Casey teased. "And they won't care if you're a good drinker or not."

Kent was visibly hesitant. He was afraid of the possibility that in his state of mind, he might just be susceptible to the advances of other men.

"It would mean a lot to us to have everyone from the team there. And you know Casey won't rest unless you come along. What do you say? First round is on me."

Kent was silent for a moment as he reconsidered the idea. It was just for one night and it would do him some good to get out and socialize. He wasn't about to do anything crazy anyway. Besides, it wasn't like he had anything else better to do.

"You'd better not be joking about those cute guys," he replied tentatively.

* * *

"Emerson! What you are doing sitting here by yourself?," Casey admonished sternly as she slid into the booth Kent had been occupying. "You'll never meet anyone if you stay here in this corner."

That was exactly what Kent was hoping for. There was a frosted glass panel separating the neighboring booth right behind which put him in the perfect position to be out of sight from the main flow of traffic. Kent really made an effort to feign interest, but it was no use. He only had eyes for Chandler.

"Sorry. I'm just not in the mood to mingle tonight."

"Wasn't there anyone you might have fancied?"

"A few guys tried to pick me up, but I politely declined."

"Yeah right. I was watching and no one even got close to you. You brushed them off before they even got a chance to chat you up."

"I told you that I wasn't good company."

"You said that you weren't a good drinker."

"Same thing. Thanks for trying Casey, but my heart's just not in it."

"How are you going to meet anyone if you won't even try?"

"Darling, stop bullying Kent," DS Lawson admonished gently as he came over. Kent silently thanked him for his timely intervention. "He knows what's good for him. You'll have to excuse her. Now that Casey is married, she thinks it's her sacred duty to hook up everyone else. I guess you can't change a leopard's spots."

"You won't hear me arguing with you on that, sir."

"If that's the way you want it, then fine. I can't help it if you're picky. Just don't blame me if Mr. Right passes you by," Casey replied leaving with her newlywed husband arm in arm as they headed towards the bar.

"Don't worry. There's no chance of that happening," Kent replied softly.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"Are you sure you want to come into this particular establishment, sir?" Chandler remarked as he surveyed the crowded room which was filled with the sound of laughter, music, chatter, and cigarette smoke. He immediately became uncomfortable with the amount of people crammed into the area, practically touching shoulder to shoulder. He could feel his OCD starting to kick in. "I mean this isn't exactly like your club."

Commander Anderson made his way to the bar to get some drinks for them. "Don't be a snob. This place isn't bad at all. It's been a long day of meetings and we've earned a little relaxation. We're already here so we might as well stay."

They saw a booth that became available and immediately appropriated it for themselves. Chandler breathed a sigh of relief as he was able to separate himself from the throng of patrons milling around.

"You seem to be in a hurry. Was there something you needed to attend to?"

"Well, I did want to stop off and check on one of my subordinates while we're in the area. I was hoping to surprise him, but I didn't know if we would have enough time."

"Oh yes. DC Kent is temporarily helping out DI Spencer's group. How is he doing?"

"I haven't heard any complaints or issues from them so I'm assuming he's doing fine."  
"You mean you haven't had any contact with him since he left?"

"I didn't want DI Spencer to think I was looking over his shoulder so I've been keeping a low profile and a hands-off approach. If the situation had been reversed, I would have wanted the same consideration."

"That's one of the reasons why I chose you to be in charge of Whitechapel, Joe. You're always one step ahead of the curve."

"And here I thought it was because you wanted to make me suffer," Chandler replied dryly, making the Commander laugh.

"I'm surprised you haven't kept in close contact with DC Kent since he left. You must have a lot of faith in his abilities."

"I do. That's why I didn't protest when he was chosen for this assignment."

"I've been told that he has a lot of potential for such a young detective constable. I've also heard that his development has been influenced greatly by you."

"Where did you hear that?" Chandler asked curiously.

"It's not exactly a secret after the glowing performance reviews you gave him. I'm pleased to hear that you're having such a positive effect on him, Joe. I know it wasn't the easiest transition with the group when you first came to Whitechapel."

"People like Kent have it made it easier for me. He's one of my best detectives."

"I can tell that you have a soft spot for him. I just hope you keep business separate from your personal feelings."

"What exactly are you insinuating?" Chandler replied suspiciously.

"I'll be honest with you, Joe. There was another reason why I wanted DC Kent to go to Sheffield as opposed to your other detective constables. My sources have informed me that you are close to him. Is there anything going on between the two of you that I should know about?"

"How could you ask me that?" Chandler protested indignantly.

"You know how I feel about personal relationships interfering with work. I don't want it to be seen as favoritism and I don't want it clouding your judgment. We're still recovering from that Ripper case as it is. We don't need another scandal on our hands."

"There's no reason to worry. I have no personal interest in Kent other than as his commanding officer."

"And there's no other reason?"

"You really don't that Kent and I…"

"It wouldn't be the first time it happened in the department. Joe, it doesn't matter to me what you do outside of work, but as a personal favor to me, I just ask that you please keep any affairs private."

"I am NOT having an affair with Kent. I have no romantic interest in him whatsoever."

"Are you so certain of that? You obviously have a fondness for him otherwise you wouldn't have thought to drop in and see him."

"That's a far cry from having an affair."

"Some of the most successful couples have started on less than that. Do you deny having a soft spot where he's concerned?"

"That's immaterial. And it's not a matter of liking or disliking Kent. He's not my type. Even if he were, Kent would never be a good fit for me. We're just too different from each other."

"That's what you say about every prospective partner."

"It's true that I am very fond of him as a colleague. But that's as far as our relationship goes. If I ever do find someone to be with, it has to be someone who can accept the realities of being with a person like me. Someone who is mentally and emotionally strong enough. I just don't think that Kent is that person."

"Frankly, I'm surprised that you, of all people are not giving him very much credit. He's loyal to a fault. He'd probably jump at the chance if you approached him."

"What makes you think that he would be interested in me?" Chandler countered back.

Commander Anderson gave him a look of utter disbelief. "It's more than a little obvious, Joe. Even I can see that."

"Kent looks up to me as an example; a mentor. Even if he was interested in me, I wouldn't want to destroy that bond by messing it up with my personal issues. He's been through enough as it is. He doesn't need my problems to add to his plate."

"He doesn't seem like the type of person to be deterred by any personality quirks you may have."

"Please don't trivialize them, sir. They're not quirks. They're serious issues that I struggle with every day of my life."

"I'm sorry, Joe. I know how much effort you put into keeping your OCD in check. I just don't see why you're so adamant about finding someone to share your life with. One does not necessarily have to exclude the other. Besides, having someone by your side might even be able to help you deal with your issues."

"That's highly unlikely. Almost every person that wanted to be with me inevitably leaves because they couldn't handle the realities of dealing with my issues, or they were forcibly taken away from me. I thought I had a future once, but that was just a fantasy. You know as well as I do that our jobs are dangerous to begin with. I don't need someone who will make empty promises and find out that they want to get out of the relationship the moment things get uncomfortable for them. People make declarations of so-called love all the time. But at the first sign of adversity, their true nature reveals itself and they immediately want out of the relationship. Seems hardly worth the effort. And besides, who needs the aggravation?"

"That's a rather pessimistic view. You didn't always think this way."

"Well, I used to think that happy endings existed, but we all have to grow up sometime."

"Joe, I know that you had to take on a lot of responsibility at a young age and that your father's death was especially hard on you. But I also know without a doubt that he wouldn't want you to carry on like this. He wouldn't want you to be alone and neither would your mother."

"It's not like I have a choice. When father died, mother was so heartbroken that she never recovered. Every day I watched as she slowly deteriorated, until she was just a shell of her former self. I had to take care of her as well as myself because she lost her grip on reality. And on top of everything I had to put up with her dalliances with false psychics and mediums that were only after her money. The saddest part was that she never did find the answers she was looking for."

"Emily loved Edward so much. I remember breaking the news to her as if it were yesterday. It was as though a part of her died as well."

"I know. That's why I prefer to remain alone. I don't want to see the same thing happen to someone I care about. I won't let that happen again."

"You're afraid of getting hurt the same way, aren't you?"

"Afraid? No, I'm not afraid. I'm terrified. With all due respect sir, I know myself better than anyone. Trust me. It's better this way."

"So you'd rather forsake what chance of happiness avails you and watch as life passes you by. Forgive me for saying this, but that's no way to live. Do you intend to remain a hermit the rest of your life as well?" the Commander asked as he gently swirled his brandy around in his wine glass.

"Probably. I've resigned myself to a solitary existence for some time now. I can't change my ways at this point in my life."

"I find it hard to believe that you've given up on the idea of being with someone. You still have a lot of life ahead of you, Joe. And despite whatever reservations you have, it's never too late."

"It's just not that important to me anymore. Relationships are overrated anyway. I don't need the headache of dealing with something that is inevitably doomed to fail. I much prefer to be alone. At least that way, I'll be the only casualty if something goes wrong and there will be no collateral damage."

"Is that out of choice or necessity?"

"I don't know," Chandler answered honestly. "It doesn't matter. Either way, I'm not going to fall into that trap again."

"You always were a stubborn brat. Joe, I'm going to speak off the cuff; not as your boss, but as someone who has known you for most of your life. Believe it or not, I want you to find happiness after all you've been through. Perhaps I was being too harsh about this. If DC Kent is who you really want to be with, I won't stand in your way."

"I told you. I could never have that kind of relationship with him. EVER," Chandler replied with a note of finality in his voice. No one was going to change his mind on this matter.

* * *

"Oy, oy are you all right, mate?"

Kent barely registered the voice of someone asking him a question as he sat immobilized with his eyes staring blankly ahead of him. Of all the pubs and bars in Sheffield, why did Chandler and the Commander have to come to the Devonshire Cat? The sights and sounds of the other patrons in the bar became a blur as Kent could no longer distinguish them. All he could hear was the sound of Chandler's words echoing over and over again in his head.

" _I could never have that kind of relationship with him."_

By a cruel twist of fate, Chandler and Commander Anderson sat in the booth right next Kent. And although the frosted glass panel separating their booths hid him from sight, it didn't block out the sound of their conversation. Even with the noise of the crowded pub, Kent had been able to hear every word that was said between them. Ironically, he thought it would be a golden opportunity to hear how Chandler truly felt. How could he not want to listen in? But the joke had been on him. Every protest that came out of Chandler's mouth was just another dagger in Kent's heart. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

It wasn't that he hadn't been prepared for the truth. It was the sting of hearing it spelled out in black and white leaving no reasonable doubt how Chandler felt. Kent could almost hear the disgust in Chandler's voice as he spoke the words, which cut deep into his soul. It was one thing to know that his feelings would not likely be reciprocated, but it was quite another to hear it directly from Chandler himself, dismissing any shred of hope Kent had left. It was as though someone had thrown a bucket of ice water in his face, making him wake up to the stark reality before him. All that was left in its wake was a profound sense of emptiness. It was the last nail in the coffin signaling the end of what was never meant to be. Kent realized it now...finally.

"What?" Kent asked in confusion as he finally registered that the other man who had asked him a question was still waiting for a response.

"You don't look well. I'll get some water for you."

"No! No, please. I'm fine. I don't need anything," Kent replied quickly, not wanting to draw attention to himself. With Casey nearby, she would have insisted on grilling him until he gave in and confessed to what was wrong. He couldn't deal with that now on top of everything else.

"I guess you're not used to the crowd and noise, right? Must be your first time here."

"Yeah, that must be it. Um, by any chance are there still two men sitting in the booth behind me? One is a blond and the other is a gray haired older man. Both are distinguished looking and probably dressed in suits," Kent replied in a low voice.

The other man moved sideways and took a quick glance. "No. There's no one there now. Oh, I get it. You caught your boyfriend cheating on you, right?"

"Not exactly."

"Well, don't let it get you down. If he's not into you, there are plenty of fish in the sea. You won't lack for company for very long. Not with your looks."

"That's very kind of you to say that."

"It's the truth. If you want, I can keep you company. I got dumped myself a few nights ago by my boyfriend so I'm in the same boat. Why do you think I'm hanging around in a place like this?"

"Thank you, but I'm all right. Really I am."

"Well, if you're sure."

"I'm sure. If it's any consolation, I'm sorry for your loss as well."

"Easy come. Easy go. What's that old saying? ' _It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all_.'"

"That's a matter of opinion."

The other man chuckled. "Agreed. Oh well. Better luck next time," the other man said before getting up to leave. He seemed liked an amiable bloke; average height, chestnut brown hair, hazel-colored eyes, easy going...nothing at all like Chandler. At least this stranger knew that he was alive. Kent wanted to cry or be angry, but he was just too numb with pain.

Before Kent realized what he was doing, he suddenly blurted out, "On second thought, I changed my mind. Are you doing anything tonight?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you don't seem like the type who goes to bars to pick up guys."

"Anyone ever tell you not to judge by appearances?"

"Look, you seem like a nice innocent kid. Are you sure you want to do this? It's obvious you're on the rebound and I don't want to take advantage of you."

"I'm not a kid and I'm not innocent. Look, do you want to or not?" Kent replied bluntly. "If you're not interested then just say so."

"Hey, wait a minute. I didn't say that I'm not interested. It's just that I've never started off a relationship this way before, at least not before an official date. I don't usually go for the clean-cut type, but you ARE cute."

"I'm not looking for a relationship. I just…I just don't want to be alone right now."

Kent waited with nervous anticipation for other man's answer, almost half-hoping that he would reject him. What he was doing was crazy as well as dangerous, but he wasn't thinking clearly at the moment. In fact, he didn't want to think at all. He wanted to dull the pain of being rejected by the man he was in love with and anyone would do at the moment. All he wanted was to forget.

"In that case, I can gladly oblige," the stranger replied softly, while extending his hand out to him.

Kent stared at the other man's hand briefly before tentatively reaching out to grasp his hand and following him out of the pub. He was about to spend the night with a total stranger whose name he didn't even know. And at that moment, he didn't care.

**To Be Continued**

* * *

 

Upload date: 15July2016 PST

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: You probably saw that coming, didn't you? That's what I wanted, so you could experience it from Kent's point of view. Just wanted to clarify:
> 
> 1\. I believe Chandler at this point does feel something for Kent, but is wary due to his past. I also think he's unaware of his own feelings. Either that or he doesn't want to admit it.
> 
> 2\. Kent is heartbroken to the point that he doesn't care anymore and is unfortunately going down an unhappy path.


	4. Moving On

You guys are the best! Enjoy the next installment!

**Chapter 4: Moving On**

* * *

_Two months later, back in Whitechapel..._

"Emerson, what's up with you lately?" Riley demanded.

"I haven't got the faintest clue of what you're talking about," Kent replied dismissively as he closed the door after they left the witness room together. The young detective constable showed little emotion as he walked away trying to distance himself from the older DC. Physically, he was still the same person on the outside, but in terms of personality, he was but a shadow of his former self.

In the aftermath of Chandler's revelations, Kent focused solely on work to keep busy and to try and get back to some semblance of normality; whatever the hell that was. Working was the only solace Kent had as he tried to deal with his pain in his own way. When work wasn't enough to keep his mind off of Chandler, he resorted to certain other activities. It worked for a while, but it was a different story now that Kent was back home. It was harder to use work as a coping mechanism because Chandler was always there, reminding him of his pain. Kent could have confronted him about what he had overheard at the pub, but he wasn't about to re-open that wound again. It would have been the ultimate humiliation and it wouldn't have changed a single damn thing. Kent had to resort to more drastic measures.

Upon returning back home to Whitechapel, he became withdrawn and aloof, choosing to distance himself from everyone, but especially from Chandler. It was the only way Kent could deal with his presence, which now overwhelmed him to the point where he was always finding ways to avoid him whenever possible. But it came at the cost of his relationship with the other team members by isolating them as well. Kent hated being someone he wasn't by nature, but he had no choice. He had accepted the fact that he would never have a future with Chandler, but it didn't make the situation any less painful for him.

"Don't give me that bunch of malarkey," Riley replied as she determinedly followed after him. "Did something happen while you were away?"

"Nothing happened. You're not required to look after me, Riley. I'm just a colleague, not a friend. I would appreciate it if you minded your own business."

"Can't help it, love. I care about everyone on the team and that includes you. And you're dead wrong. We're more than just colleagues. We're friends."

"Since when?" he scoffed derisively. "You're buddies with Mansell and you've always taken his side. The only time you've ever paid attention to me is when you're bossing me around or making fun of me. That's not what I call friendship."

"I took Mansell's side that ONE time and made you tell him the truth because he was a mess and you lied to Erica. I would have done the same if the shoe were one the other foot. I don't know what's gotten into you lately. You've changed, Emerson. Anyone with a brain can see that. Now what's going on?"

"Nothing happened, all right? You can stop with the concerned mother routine."

"I don't believe you."

"Unbelievable. First you say that I'm hiding something, and then when I tell you the truth, you think I'm lying about it. What do you want from me?"

"I want the real truth. You've been really distant since you came back, Emerson. You barely speak with anyone. When you do, it's like pulling teeth to get you to speak up. You don't join us for lunch or when we go to group functions. You don't even join in our gossip sessions anymore. It's as though you don't want to even be here."

"Stop being so melodramatic. After working my ass off in Sheffield, I've just gained a little perspective, that's all. I used to bend over backwards to please everyone because I could never say no. But no more. I'm not going to devote myself to something that is only one aspect of my life. There are more important things that I've been missing out on and I'm not going to ignore them any longer."

"You had a fight with Mansell again, didn't you? You know what happened the last time you two went off on each other."

"No, I didn't have a fight with him. I told you already that there's nothing wrong. Don't go sticking your nose in other people's business," he retorted sharply.

"What in the world has come over you?"

"Maybe I grew up and you just didn't notice. It's not like anyone in this place ever does."

"You can huff and puff all you like, but I know you, Emerson. You wouldn't be acting this way if there wasn't something bothering you. And I wouldn't be sticking my nose into your business if I didn't care."

"I'm not obligated to share every intimate detail of my life with you or anyone else. You are my co-worker, Riley, not my mother. And you are not the boss either. To be perfectly honest, I'm tired of you acting like you are. Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to clock off and I have an appointment to keep."

Riley stood there momentarily stunned by Kent's cold response. He had never stood up to her before or spoken with such callousness. He had always been that person you could tease like a little brother and he would take it in stride because of his accommodating nature. What was more surprising was the way he stayed away from Chandler. Kent used to act like such an eager puppy, doing anything and everything he could to get the boss's attention. Now he was rarely seen if, ever, within an arm's reach of the DI. Even Erica noticed the change in her twin sibling, but had no answer for it. After some thought, Riley decided to back off. Kent was right. He didn't have to answer to her and she needed to cut him some slack. Maybe he was just going through a rough patch and needed his space. That must be it.

Kent was about to leave when Chandler stopped him in his tracks in the foyer. First it was Riley, and now him. Kent really didn't need this right now.

"Rushing off so soon? You usually leave right before I do."

"Is there a problem with that?" Kent replied in a stilted tone.

"No, not at all," Chandler replied somewhat perplexed by his DC's reaction. "It's just that we haven't gotten a chance to chat with each other about something other than work since you got back."

"I've been busy trying to catch up with the case files and all the paperwork."

"I'm pleased that you've caught up so quickly, but there comes a point of diminishing returns. You can't always be going at full speed all the time. It's all right to ease back into things."

"Thank you, but I'm fine. I'm in a rush, so if there's nothing else you need from me, I'll be off."

"No, there's nothing else. Goodnight Kent."

"Goodnight, sir."

Chandler's eyes followed Kent as he left the building. He wasn't going to overreact, but he wasn't going to lie and say that he wasn't at least concerned. If he didn't know better, he could have sworn that Kent was trying to get away from him. And for some odd reason, that bothered him.

* * *

As Riley made her way back downstairs a few moments later, she stopped abruptly at the window when she observed Kent talking with another man outside in the back courtyard. Kent didn't seem particularly pleased to see his companion, but he didn't push him away either when the other man put an arm around his shoulders, pulling him in closely and whispering something into his ear. The other man didn't look like the type of person that Kent would associate with. Come to think of it, this wasn't the first time she had seen him meeting up with some bloke after work. Was it possible that Kent had given up on the boss? He had been so infatuated with Chandler that the idea of him seeing anyone else was unthinkable. But yet, here he was in plain sight with someone other than the boss. As Riley watched Kent leave on his Vespa with his companion perched behind him, she couldn't help but feel uneasy. She hoped Kent wasn't making a mistake he would regret.

* * *

"Leaving already?" a sleepy voice murmured from the bed as Kent finished getting dressed.

A sullen and detached Kent slid into his jacket, not bothering to turn around. "I've got work in the morning. I can't show up wearing the same clothes as the day before. How many times do I have to tell you, Ian?"

"Sorry. It's just that it would be nice if you actually stayed the entire night for once instead of leaving right after sex. It's like you hate doing it with me."

"If you don't like the way things are, then why did you even bother with me tonight?"

"You know that I can't stay away from you for very long. As for having complaints, I don't recall you protesting very much when we left together. You could have refused."

"It's not like I had anything else better to do," Kent replied bitterly. "And you're better than nothing."

"Anyone ever tell you that you've got a mean streak in you?"

"If you don't like it, then go find another warm body. I can always be with someone who won't nag me or treat me like a rag doll."

"Emerson, wait. I didn't mean anything. You know that. It's just…don't you ever get tired of these one night stands? Don't you want something more?"

Kent turned around abruptly. "I said that I wasn't looking for anything serious when you came on to me. I don't need or want to be in a relationship. All that ever leads to is disappointment."

"Have you always been like this?"

"Like what?" Kent replied, suddenly feeling exhausted.

"Bitter and cynical. I wish I could meet the bloke that made you this way. He must be a real piece of work."

"Don't hold your breath," Kent retorted angrily. "And don't ever mention that again. In fact, don't ever call me again."

Kent reached over to grab Ian's mobile phone on the bedside stand and deleted his contact information before tossing it back to his stunned companion on the bed before stalking off into the night. When he reached the safe haven of his flat, Kent immediately showered and then went straight to bed not even bothering to eat. But sleep did not come easily as he reflected on how his life had radically changed from the moment he decided to give up on Chandler. It hadn't been easy considering that for the past six years, his life had revolved solely around him. It wasn't like he had any choice in the matter. It was one thing to move on without Chandler, but it was quite another to expunge him completely from Kent's heart. To fill the empty void, Kent resorted to having one night stands whenever he was feeling desperately lonely. He knew it was bad for him in every way, but for a few fleeting moments, he could at least pretend that he was loved. But no matter who Kent was with, he always left afterward feeling empty inside.

Kent detested what he had become; allowing desperation and loneliness dictate his choices. He knew that he deserved better than what he was settling for and he knew that it could have considerable consequences. If only he had able to purge Chandler out of his system, then maybe he could actually move on and try to make a life for himself with someone capable of returning his affections and who could actually love him back without any hangups or emotional baggage. But the stark reality was that as long as they had to work together, this was the only way Kent could cope. Sure, it probably wasn't the best solution. And sure he could have left Whitechapel, but that meant starting over from scratch and leaving the only place he had ever known. In addition, there were other factors to consider. Leaving Whitechapel, meant leaving Chandler as well; something that he wasn't quite prepared to do yet. Accepting that Chandler would never be within Kent's reach was one thing, but living without him was quite another. Perhaps this was his punishment for allowing his heart to rule his head.

* * *

"Sir, may I speak with you privately?"

"Come in, Riley. I couldn't help, but notice that your mind was preoccupied at this morning's meeting."

"That's what I was counting on," she replied closing the door after her. "Sir, I hate telling tales, but I'm really worried about Kent."

"You're not the only one," Chandler replied, sighing deeply as he leaned back in his chair. "Ed and Miles said the same thing to me on separate occasions this week. Even Mansell's worried about him."

"I can't shake this feeling that something's not right with him. It hasn't been ever since Kent came back. I can't put my finger on it, but he's just not himself. I'm not often wrong about these things."

"If something was bothering Kent, he would have mentioned it to me by now," Chandler replied reasonably.

"With all due respect sir, he would rather swallow his own tongue than admit that there was a problem. Just because Kent hasn't mentioned anything to you doesn't mean everything is on the up and up. I've never seen him like this before. It's like he's mentally checked out."

"I realize that you're worried, but I can't fault Kent for not being his usual eager self. Everyone has their bad days now and then. If something is bothering him, he hasn't let it affect his job performance. It doesn't mean that there's anything's wrong."

"But this has been going on for some time. The fact that the others have mentioned the recent change in his behavior proves that something is off. I'm really worried about him."

"I appreciate your concern, but it's none of our business. We shouldn't get involved in his personal affairs."

"Well then maybe it's time that we did. Please talk to him, sir. If anyone can get the truth out of him, you can. Order him if you have to."

"And what would you have me do? Put him in the interrogation room? Shine a bright light on him and grill him until he confesses?"

"It would better than doing nothing. For once, can't you put aside your duties as Detective Inspector and think with your heart? It's not like Kent doesn't mean anything to you."

"Riley, you're getting dangerously close to the level of insubordination," Chandler warned in a stern voice.

"Oh please. DS Miles has said worse things to you than that," Riley replied dismissively. "You can't tell me that you're not worried about Kent as well."

"I didn't say that I wasn't worried," Chandler replied carefully.

"See? You do care. I wouldn't go behind Kent's back like this if I didn't think that there was something seriously wrong. He's going down a dangerous path that could hurt him in the long run. I don't want that to happen to him. And I know that you don't want that to happen either."

Chandler leaned back in his chair in contemplation before finally replying, "Do you really think he's in trouble?"

"I think, that he needs you now more than ever. Kent admires you and respects you. He'll listen to what you have to say to him. Please sir, do something before it's too late."

That was enough for Chandler. "Tell me everything you know."

* * *

"What an unexpected pleasure to see you here DI Chandler," DS Lawson greeted Chandler as the two detectives exchanged handshakes. "We weren't expecting you."

"How did you know who I was? I don't ever recall meeting you face to face."

"DC Kent described you down to a tee. Plus I saw you once at The Devonshire Cat some time ago. I just didn't put two and two together at the time."

"I see. I'm sorry for the unannounced visit, but I was in the neighborhood and I've been meaning to drop by. I hope it's not a problem."

"Not at all. DI Spencer is in a meeting, but he'll be finished soon if you care to wait. Can I get you some tea or coffee in the meantime?"

"No, thank you. Actually, I came to see you. Is there somewhere we can talk privately?"

"Of course. We can use one of the witness rooms. This way please."

Chandler fidgeted with his wrist watch as he followed him. If he still had his rubber band, he would have been snapping at it. He hated going behind Kent's back like this, but it was a necessary evil if he could glean any information from the other detective that would shed some clue to Kent's recent behavior. After Riley had given him a rundown on Kent's recent activities, he was quick to agree that he needed to intervene sooner than later.

"Now, what can I do for you?"

"I wanted to know how DC Kent performed during his time with you."

"I assumed he gave you a full debriefing on his activities during his tenure here. Wasn't his report sufficient enough?"

"You misunderstand. I meant, was there anything in his behavior or demeanor to indicate that something was troubling him?"

"If there was, he never showed it outwardly. He's a very hard worker and didn't give us any trouble in the least. We even tried to persuade him to stay with us permanently because we were so impressed with his work ethic and his abilities."

Chandler's eyes reflected complete surprise that Kent would keep that information from him. The idea of him leaving Whitechapel simply never occurred to him before.

"Kent is all right, isn't he?" DS Lawson asked in concern.

"Oh yes, yes of course. It's just that he's been a little distant ever since he returned to Whitechapel. I thought perhaps, something might have happened during his time here that wasn't mentioned. Tell me, did he seem distracted or out of sorts at any point in time?"

"Not in the least. If anything, he was a workaholic. He wanted to take on every assignment I gave him and more on top of that. I had to order him to go home on several occasions when he kept working late into the night even though he didn't have to. If I didn't know better, I'd swear he was doing it just to keep busy."

"I see," Chandler replied softly. It was looking more and more likely that Riley was correct in her assessment that Kent was keeping something from them.

"I don't want to pry, but was everything all right between you two prior to Kent's time with us?"

"Why would you ask that, DS Lawson?"

"It's just that Kent always seemed to change the subject whenever your name was mentioned in passing. I assumed that there was some...'tension' between you two," the other man replied tactfully.

"Kent and I don't have that kind of relationship if that is what you're insinuating. You shouldn't make assumptions without all the facts," Chandler replied sharply.

"I apologize, sir. I didn't mean to offend you. It's just that I've experienced a similar situation with one of my subordinates in the past and I thought perhaps you and Kent were going through the same ordeal."

"I can assure you that he and I are on good terms with each other. I wouldn't be here if that wasn't the case. I'm just concerned about his well-being and nothing else."

"That much is clearly evident. You'll have to forgive me. It's just that we think very highly of DC Kent around here and would be saddened to hear that he's having a rough go of it."

"Apology accepted. I can assure you that he's in very good hands. We care about him just as much as you seem to."

"Then we have a lot a common. If there is anything else I can help you with, don't hesitate to call me. And please tell Kent that we miss him."

Chandler shook the other man's outstretched hand. "I will be sure to pass on your message. Thank you for your time DS Lawson. I appreciate it."

As he was about to get into his car, Chandler was stopped by Casey who was panting after running all the way down from the fourth floor to catch up with him before he left.

"DI Chandler, could I speak with you for a moment?" she asked breathlessly.

"Who are you?"

"DC Collins. I worked with DC Kent while he was here with us. This is a little awkward, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation with my reporting officer, DS Lawson."

"That was a private conversation between two senior detectives. I shouldn't have to tell you that eavesdropping is unacceptable. You should have exercised some restraint," Chandler replied sternly.

"I know, and I'm sorry for my unprofessional behavior. It's just that Emerson is a friend of mine and I couldn't help overhearing. Do you really think he's in some kind of trouble?"

Chandler's expression softened when he heard the genuine concern in Casey's voice.

"Some of my subordinates are under the impression that he hasn't been himself since he came back to Whitechapel. Unfortunately, that seems to be the major consensus and I'm inclined to agree."

"I knew something like this was going to happen," she replied softly. "I just knew it. It's all my fault."

"Would you care to elaborate?"

"I'm afraid I may have given him some advice which may have backfired on me. Please believe me, DI

Chandler. I was only trying to help. I didn't think it would spiral out of control."

"What do you mean by that? Is he in trouble?" Chandler demanded immediately.

"No! No, of course not! At least not that I know of. It's just...well, he started going out with certain people of shall we say, questionable character. When I tried to talk to him about it, he shut me out. I think he was trying to prove a point that he didn't need any help from anyone. Now, I'm afraid he's making terrible choices because of what I said. If he ever got hurt because of the advice I gave him, I would never forgive myself."

"I don't think you should take the blame for his actions. After all, Kent is an adult and is perfectly capable of making his own decisions. Ultimately, he's going to do what he wants to do."

"You don't understand, sir. I may have pushed him too hard when it was obvious he wasn't ready to move on. My husband is always telling me to mind my own business. I should have listened to him and let Emerson work things out on his own."

"I'm sure you meant well. Kent may seem like a pushover at first glance, but he's much stronger than he appears. Once he makes up his mind, he stands firmly behind his convictions. He has always accepted responsibility for his actions and has never made excuses. I admire him for that."

"But he wouldn't have made those choices if I hadn't bullied him into it. On my word of honor, sir. I just wanted the best for Emerson. I didn't mean any harm. Really, I didn't."

"I'm sure he doesn't hold a grudge against you. Otherwise he wouldn't have spoken so highly of you all when he returned to Whitechapel."  
"He did?"

"Kent specifically pointed out to me that you were a great help to him and made him feel at ease."

"I don't know why he would say that. He was always putting up with me and my bossy ways. If anything were to happen to him because of what I said, I don't know what I would do."

"You're being much too hard on yourself, DC Collins. If there is any bit of wisdom I've gained from my time in Whitechapel, it's that we can always learn from the past to correct the future. You can rest assured that I won't allow Kent to jeopardize his future as long as I'm around."

"Thank you DI Chandler. That makes me feel better knowing Emerson has you to look out for him."

Chandler nodded in recognition and was about to get into his car when he turned to her one last time.

"By the way, you can pass on this bit of information along to DS Lawson as well. I'm sure he'll be anxious to know how your meeting with me went."

"What makes you think that I would pass along this information to him?" Casey replied in confusion.

"You're married to him, aren't you? He indirectly mentioned you in passing during our conversation. I put two and two together when I noticed that you both had the same design on your wedding bands."

"You're just how Emerson described you, DI Chandler," Casey replied, smiling gently.

"I hope I can take that as a compliment."

"Most certainly. It was nice meeting you, sir. Have a safe trip back to London. And thank you."

Casey looked after Chandler as his car sped off into the distance. So he was the one who captured Kent's heart. It couldn't be anyone else. Now that she met Chandler in person, she could see why Kent fell for him. And why he fell so hard.

* * *

Kent heaved a sigh of relief as he settled into the easy chair after another exhausting day and turned on the TV, switching channels every two seconds or so. Wouldn't you just know it? Hundreds of channels to peruse, and absolutely nothing to watch. Finally, he decided to turn it off and close his eyes, slowly easing away the day's tension. Kent felt like his brain was fried from the constant strain of maintaining his distance from everyone while keeping up with appearances that everything was fine. He didn't know how much longer he could continue at this pace. At least he could relax for the moment. Just as he was about to doze off, the door bell rang. Kent suddenly got a panic attack when he saw he who was on the other side of the door through the peep hole. There was no way he could avoid him now. Kent took a deep breath before opening the door.

"Hello, Kent," Chandler greeted him. "Sorry for the intrusion."

"Why are you here?"

"I think we need to have a talk."

**To Be Continued**

* * *

Upload Date: 18July2016 PST


	5. Nothing But The Truth

I'm glad you're enjoying this story so far. I just hope I don't disappoint you :)

Happy reading!

**Chapter 5: Nothing But the Truth**

* * *

"I think we need to have a talk," Chandler announced, making Kent immediately wary. "May I come in?"

Kent opened the door wider and allowed him to enter his flat. "Is there a problem at work, sir?"

"No, there's nothing wrong. And my visit here has nothing to do with work. I was just passing by and thought that I'd pay you a visit. Since you've been so busy, I figured it was a good time catch you at home."

After debating whether or not to confront his junior officer for several days, Chandler finally decided to have a heart-to-heart discussion. But it wasn't an easy decision to come to. This wasn't like talking with Miles in that no matter what was said between them, Chandler knew that Miles wouldn't be affected and could brush off any harsh words said in the heat of the moment. But Kent was an entirely different matter. He needed to take special care not to say the wrong things where the younger man was concerned. Chandler had already gone through that uncomfortable situation once in the aftermath of Kent's attack by the Krays when he had accused him of being the mole on the team. He didn't want history to repeat itself again.

"Passing by?" Kent parroted, suspiciously. "You live across town and you were just 'passing by'?"

"No good?" Chandler replied sheepishly.

"Not even close. I'm surprised that you would even try that tired old line."

"I guess I'm not a very good liar."

"You couldn't lie if your life depended on it. Whatever ulterior motive you have, it must be important enough to make you resort to that."

"Why do you assume that I have an ulterior motive? Can't I stop by once in a while and visit one of my team members?"

"On any normal occasion, yes. Except that this is like the second time that you've ever visited my home. And I don't think it was for the purpose of checking out the décor. This isn't a social visit, is it?"

"You've gotten better at reading other people, Kent."

"You're acting very peculiar, sir. What's this really all about?"

"All right. No more beating around the bush," Chandler replied after a sigh of resignation. "What I'm about to tell you is out of genuine concern so I hope you will take it in the spirit that it's given. Several people have mentioned to me that you haven't exactly been acting like your normal self for some time and I'm inclined to agree with them. In fact, you haven't been the same since coming back from your assignment in Sheffield. I've spoken to DS Lawson recently in person and he mentioned that you were working above and beyond the call of duty to the point of exhaustion. His wife also expressed concern for you as well. I can't help but think that something isn't right."

"You actually went all the way up there and spoke with them behind my back?" Kent replied in annoyance. "You could have come and talk to me directly. First it was the last minute assignment to Sheffield and now this. Am I so insignificant that I don't even deserve any consideration anymore?"

Chandler was visibly startled at Kent's response. He had never spoken to him with such indignation before. Although in this case, it was very much warranted.

"Of course you deserve every consideration. And you're right. I should have have come to you directly, but it's not that simple. I've always let you work things out on your own, Kent because I wanted you to learn to stand on your own two feet and be self-reliant. But there's a fine line between giving you your space and knowing when to intervene. I want you working in the right frame of mind and it's obvious that you haven't been for some time. The fact that others have noticed the change in you left me no choice. In light of all of the evidence presented before me, I couldn't let the matter go unattended any longer."

"Was that the only reason you approached me? Because it was a work-related issue and you had to follow up on it because it was your duty?"

"I'm concerned about you on a personal level as well. Are you in some kind of trouble, Kent? If you are, I'll do everything in my power to help you. Whatever issues you may have, my opinion of you won't change. You can trust me."

Kent stared at him for several uncomfortable and awkward moments of silence before he started to grin sardonically. It wasn't long before he started laughing in a mocking, self-derisive way. The veins in Chandler's forehead were already bulging in annoyance.

"I don't find this situation humorous in the least," Chandler replied in annoyance.

"You would if you saw it from my perspective."

"Then would you mind telling me what is so damn funny so I can share in the joke?"

"You know, you're really unbelievable. For six years, I did everything possible to get you to notice me. I said all the right things and did everything as I was told like a good little detective constable. But the moment you perceive that there's an issue with me, based on conjecture no less, you finally take notice. I find it ironic that the only time you ever pay attention to me is when I mess up or annoy you. I guess I can't do anything right where you're concerned."

"I'm not trying to interfere in your personal life. I just want to help."

"I don't recall asking for it," Kent replied curtly. "And it's nobody's business what I do."

"Wrong. It becomes my business when it jeopardizes the well-being of one of my team members. There's been a change in you ever since you came back. It's like you're a different person. If it was because I allowed for you to go to Sheffield, then I want to know. I realize that we haven't exactly been very close, but I consider you a friend."

"A friend?" Kent retorted bitterly. "No, we're not friends. I'm just someone you pat on the head once in a while when I've done a good job for you. Someone who will give you undying support no matter how you treat me. Isn't that right, sir?"

"So this IS a personal issue."

"Brilliant deduction. Do I now get to hear a lecture on how you're disappointed in me? Thanks, but no thanks. I've heard that already and I didn't care for it the first time."

"I don't understand, Kent. What have I done to make you this upset at me?"

"Forget it. It doesn't matter."

"No. I'm not going to forget it. You've obviously been harboring some feelings of resentment for some time. Otherwise you wouldn't be talking to me this way. If you have an issue against me, then I wish you would just come out and say it."

Kent gave him a resigned look. "I don't have anything against you, sir. I've just decided that I'm not going to waste any more time pining away after someone who only sees me as a subordinate and nothing more."

"Pining away?" Chandler parroted in initial confusion before he realized what the younger man was implying. It took him a few seconds to gather himself from the initial shock. He knew that Kent admired him, but he just realized it was much more than that. "Kent, how long have you…have you had feelings for me?"

"Like I said, it doesn't matter. I've already given up, so you don't have to worry about this interfering with our work relationship or cramping your style. In spite of what you think of my abilities, I'm still a professional. I haven't allowed my feelings to jeopardize my work all these years. I'm not going to start now."

Chandler reached out to grasp Kent's shoulders. "Why didn't you ever say anything until now?"

Kent looked directly into Chandler's eyes. The twinkle and enthusiasm that was usually present, was now replaced by a cold, vacant expression. The innocence that had always been a part of Kent's charm was nowhere to be seen. It was as though the light went out of his soul. It was the same look that Chandler remembered seeing on his mother's face when they received the news about his father's untimely death so long ago. He thought he would never have to see it again. Or that he would inflict that same pain on someone else.

"You've never given me any indication that you would be open to the idea. I didn't think it would make any difference either way."

"That's not the point. You should have told me how you felt. You can't make a problem go away by ignoring it."

"And when exactly was I supposed to tell you? When you were personally escorting Morgan Lamb home?" Kent replied calmly.

Kent remembered feeling especially anxious, jealous, and hurt all at once when Chandler began showing a serious interest in Morgan. For several years, Chandler hadn't shown any open interest in the opposite sex and then all of sudden, out of the blue, came a cavalcade of women. First there was the forensics analyst Lizzie Pepper, the uptight DI Norroy from Richmond, and then the insufferable psychiatrist Morgan Lamb. It was as though the Fates had decided to laugh in Kent's face by parading these potential love interests in front of his eyes knowing that he couldn't do a single damn thing about it. All he could do was watch in envy as the object of his affections was being taken away before his very eyes time and time again, and without very much effort. That's what galled him the most.

Chandler released Kent as if he had been burnt. "That was uncalled for."

"I'm sorry if the truth offends you. I'm sorry that this whole conversation offends you. Let's just end it now."

"I can't do that. Not when we haven't resolved anything. You know that you can confide in me about anything. Did you think it would change my opinion of you if I knew?"

"Perhaps," Kent replied quietly. "But it wasn't the only reason why."

"We've been through so much together, Kent. I thought that you could trust me by now, no matter what the situation is."

"Tell me something, sir. Whenever you need to talk to someone, isn't DS Miles the first person you go to?"

"That has nothing to do with our current situation."

"It has EVERYTHING to do with it. You two barely got along with each other in the beginning and yet, now he is your closest confidante. I was the only one that supported you the minute you came to Whitechapel, but you've always kept me at distance, never allowing me to get close to you. Because of that, I didn't feel comfortable telling you how I felt because I knew you didn't trust me the way you trust DS Miles. The truth is that deep down, even now, you still don't trust me on a personal level."

"That's not true at all. How I treat you as a subordinate is not indicative of how I feel about you as a person. Don't confuse our professional relationship with our personal one."

"I wasn't aware that we had anything other than a professional relationship. Maybe I'm just too unsophisticated to distinguish between the two. After all, I don't speak eloquently or have a college degree. I don't eat in fancy restaurants, shop at places like Savile Row, or have access to exclusive gentlemen clubs. In short, I'm not the kind of person you would associate with, personally or professionally."

"Don't talk like that, Kent."

"Like what?"

"Like you've lost faith in me," Chandler replied softly. "You've known me long enough to realize that I would never think of you in that light."

"I've always had faith in you. But you haven't always had faith in me. You showed your true colors when you accused me of being the mole."

"No matter what you may think, that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my career, because I knew it could potentially damage our relationship forever. You have no idea how much I agonized over that decision."

"Obviously, it wasn't enough to stop you."

"You said you accepted my apology. I didn't realize you were still holding a grudge against me."

"I'm not holding any grudges, sir. Just because I never said anything afterward doesn't mean that I've forgotten about it. If you had been in my position, wouldn't you have felt some residual resentment?"

"All right. I get your point."

"I don't think you do. It's just like that time with the revenge murders. You didn't trust me enough to even consider my theory about Morgan Lamb. If DS Miles brought it up, you would have at least listened to him, even if you didn't like what he had to say. But because it came from me, you dismissed it point-blank. You treated me as though my opinions didn't matter. That I didn't matter. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?"

"I'm sorry, Kent. It was never my intention to belittle you or make you feel slighted."

"That doesn't do me any good. There's always some excuse, isn't there?"

"It's not an excuse! It's the truth. You have to understand. It was never anything personal. When I accused you of being the mole during the Kray case, I was in a difficult position. It felt like everything was going to hell in a hand basket. We were getting pressured on every front and I didn't know who to believe anymore. I was doing what I thought was right at the time...even if it meant hurting you in the process."

"And what was your excuse for giving preferential treatment to Morgan Lamb?"

"There was no preferential treatment. It was clearly evident based on the facts that she had no ties with the murderer. There was no reason for me to doubt her word."

"But you had no trouble doubting MY word," Kent retorted. "You made a unilateral decision about me without proof and yet had no problem with taking Morgan's word at face value, a stranger no less, even though it was possible that she could have been lying. Were you so infatuated by her that her word carried more weight than mine?"

Morgan had managed to monopolize Chandler's affections without even trying which had been a thorn in Kent's side during that entire case. Besides feeling anxious and jealous, Kent had been hurt more so by the fact that Chandler immediately dismissed his theories in favor of defending a woman he just met. He had been callously tossed aside like rubbish. Morgan hadn't exactly endeared herself to Kent by making assumptions about him as well. Actually, they were more like accusations. He had never been so pissed off in his life.

"That question is inappropriate, Kent. It was never a competition between you two."

"Of course it wasn't. How could it be a competition when she already won you over? "

"You make it sound like she had something against you from the very start. I thought you were above that kind of childish pettiness."

"Since when does having an opposing view equate to being petty? It wasn't like I pulled the idea out of thin air. Morgan Lamb was a trained psychiatrist. She knew how to manipulate people for her own agenda if it suited her so it wasn't completely farfetched. Look at how she had you wrapped around her little finger. She could have been lying and you would have been gullible enough to fall for it."

"That's enough," Chandler replied sharply. "I won't allow you to vilify her and tarnish her memory when she can't defend herself. Isn't it enough that she's dead?"

Kent's hands clenched tightly at his sides as he kept back the tears from spilling over. He couldn't even compete with a dead woman. "You suspended me without a chance to defend myself. I guess there are a different set of rules when it pertains to me. Maybe you would prefer it if I were out of the picture all together. Then you could see all the women you wanted without any interference from me."

Chandler's face contorted in shock, never realizing until now that Kent could be so brutally cold. The venom in his words was palpable.

"Don't talk nonsense. I realize you're upset Kent, but you know damn well that I don't want you to leave Whitechapel."

"Do I? That's a news flash, considering you never confide in me about anything."

Chandler gave an exasperated sigh. "What do you want me to say? Do you want me to go down on my knees and beg for forgiveness for something that I can't change? Look, I'm sorry for hurting you, and I'm sorry that I wasn't more sensitive to your feelings, but I shouldn't have to feel guilty about being interested in Morgan. She never did anything to you to warrant such hostile feelings."

"THAT is matter of opinion. You only saw one side of her; the side that you wanted to see. I saw something quite different. Did you know that she accused me of being a vindictive and unscrupulous person after you practically forced me to apologize to her?"

"That can't be true," Chandler replied in disbelief. "You must have misunderstood."

"Oh, I understood perfectly. She inferred that I would rather you remain alone than find happiness with anyone else. And furthermore, if I couldn't have you, then no else could. I have no doubt she said that to get back at me for accusing her as the accomplice in the revenge murders. So much for objectivity and professionalism. The only reason I even apologized to her in the first place was because you made me."

"That was almost two years ago. Why didn't you tell me about that incident?"

Kent shrugged his shoulders. "You weren't about to listen to anything I had to say. I didn't think it mattered."

"Of course it matters! Kent, you're an invaluable member of the team. I've known you for almost six years and I've seen how you've matured as a detective constable. I do value your input and I am always interested in what you have to say."

"Only when it's convenient," the younger man replied softly. "And only when it doesn't involve witnesses you're attracted to."

Chandler couldn't help but flinch. It took him a moment to collect his thoughts before he could respond.

"All right. I admit that I might have let my emotions dictate my actions that time. But it wasn't out of spite when I reprimanded you. It saddens me to think that you couldn't tell me how you felt when it's been a sore issue for you. We've always been there for each other when it really mattered, even in the dark times. Doesn't that count for anything?"

"When have you ever been there for me?" Kent scoffed in disbelief. "Where was your support when I was suspended without any proof? Where was it when I tried to warn you about Morgan and you went off on me because you couldn't put aside your personal feelings for her? When I thought you would show a bit of compassion after Mansell hit me, you couldn't lower yourself from your high horse to even do that. You've always ignored my feelings because I'm just a nuisance to you. You never really cared about me."

Kent knew that he was letting his emotions get the better of him and that he was being irrational and petulant, but he couldn't stop himself. After years of futility and frustration, the emotional floodgates had opened and there was no turning back now. The pain was magnified tenfold in light of overhearing Chandler's recent conversation with the Commander. Kent never expected romantic gestures or declarations of love. He knew Chandler too well to expect that. All he ever wanted was a to be a part of Chandler's life. Was that really too much to ask?

"That's not true! I care about you more than you realize. And you were never a nuisance to me no matter how it may have appeared to you. Kent, I'm your supervisor. And as your commanding officer, I can't give you any special treatment. If I did, people would think that I was showing favoritism and it might cause a rift within the group as well as in the department. Do you really want that to happen?"

"I never asked for any favors or special treatment. It was my mistake for thinking that you were different from any of the DI's that came before. For once I thought that I was important. I thought you actually cared about me. What a bloody joke."

"I do care about you, Kent. Perhaps not in the way you wanted, but it still doesn't mean that my feelings are disingenuous. And it doesn't mean that we can't work through this. Are you really willing to throw our friendship away after everything we've been through together? Doesn't that count for something?"

"And what would you have me do? Pretend that this conversation never happened? I'm sorry I can't take the high road and be the better man. I don't have that luxury."

"I understand that you want to blame me for not returning your feelings, but treating me as though it was completely my fault isn't fair. If you're going to be angry with me, then at least give me a chance to defend myself and try to make things right again."

"I'm not angry with you because you don't share my feelings. I'm angry because you've been misleading me ever since you came to Whitechapel."

"When have I ever done that?" Chandler replied defensively. "I've always been honest with you."

"You just don't get it. I thought that you weren't interested in getting involved with anyone because you were so dedicated to your career. That's one of the reasons why I never told you how I felt about you. I didn't want to burden you when you were trying so hard to fit in and establish yourself. I was content to watch you from afar, hoping for a chance that you might open your heart to me some day. But as the years passed, I realized that wasn't the issue. It's not that you don't want get involved with another person or that you're not able to. You just don't want to get involved with me."

"I've always wondered what you had against Morgan. And now I know why. It was because you were jealous."

"Can you blame me? You used to listen to my ideas and respect my opinions. But once she stepped into the picture, I became an afterthought. You brushed me aside when I became an inconvenience. And then after Morgan died, I thought I had been given a second chance. But you shut down emotionally because you couldn't get over her. Perhaps you even blamed me for her death."

"That's just not true. If there was anyone to blame, it was me."

"It doesn't matter anymore because no matter how hard I try, I can never take her place in your heart. I've tried so hard to be a part of your life, but you wouldn't let me. So I'm giving up. Nothing will ever make you see me as anything other than a junior officer."

Chandler's heart clenched tightly against his chest when he heard the pain in the younger detective's voice. But what hurt him even more was that he was the source of that pain. Had he really been that oblivious that he never noticed Kent's feelings? Chandler realized with a pained heart that the answer was a resounding yes. He was always ignoring the looks of adoration and brushing them aside as mere hero worship. He never gave a second thought to the hurt looks on Kent's face whenever he was dismissed abruptly or when he was being reprimanded. He had always taken Kent for granted because of his loyalty and eagerness to please. And now their personal relationship was in jeopardy.

"I'm sorry, Kent," Chandler pleaded helplessly. "I would never, ever, hurt you on purpose. You have to believe that."

"You want to know what's so ironic? I don't think I even blame you for the way things turned out."

"You should blame me," Chandler replied softly. "If I had been more aware of what was going on, maybe I could have prevented this."

"If you had known how I felt about you, would you have done anything differently?"

"Of course I would. If I had known how you felt, I would have treated you with more empathy and compassion. And I wouldn't have misled you into thinking that there could be anything between us. Kent, I know that you look up to me, but I'm not the person you think I am. There's no future for us because I'm damaged goods, incapable of holding together any semblance of a normal relationship. Do you want someone who will give you nothing but heartache and disappointment? The truth is that I can't give you what you want and rightly deserve. I can't do that for you or anyone else."

"You did it for Morgan so your argument has no merit," Kent reminded him softly. "Why don't you just admit that I'm not good enough for you?"

"That thought never occurred to me in the least. You're a wonderful person, Kent. I don't deserve to have you as a member of my team, let alone as a lover. You deserve to have someone who will give you what I can't. Perhaps if the circumstances had been different, I might have felt differently. But I can't change how I feel."

Kent swallowed the lump that formed at the back his throat. Ironically, he would have preferred not to know that admission from Chandler. It would have been a lot less painful.

"You don't have to make excuses for my benefit, sir. After all, you've never had any reservations in holding back your feelings when it concerns me. Why stop now?"

"That's not fair. While I understand your pain, please try to see it from my perspective. As Detective Inspector, I am ultimately responsible for every individual on the team. I can't allow personal feelings to influence my judgment on making decisions and I can't favor one person above everyone else. I know that it's very little consolation at the moment, but I never had any intentions of pursuing a long-term relationship with anyone."

"You're right. It's very little consolation to me."

"I guess I deserved that. We all make mistakes, Kent. All I can say in my defense is that I didn't know how you felt about me all this time."

"How could you not know?" Kent demanded angrily. "I did everything humanly possible, short of coming out and telling you myself. Practically everyone knew how I felt. Everyone, except you."

"Maybe I didn't want to know," Chandler replied softly. "I am fully aware that I don't always show my appreciation and that I can be insensitive at times. All right, most of the time. But don't think for a minute that I've forgotten what you did for me when I first came to Whitechapel. Everyone thought I was in way over my head. No one trusted me or gave me any respect. Even Miles hated me. But you were always there for me from the very beginning in spite of my unorthodox ways. You believed in me when nobody else would. I've always noticed you, Kent. How could I not notice?"

"That doesn't matter now. Even if by some miracle, you were to have a change of heart towards me, I would just be in the way. A person like me doesn't fit into your plans. Isn't that right?"

"I know you don't believe that," Chandler replied in disbelief. "I realize you're hurt, but you're letting your emotions cloud your judgment."

"Don't patronize me, sir. It insults my intelligence."

"Why are you doing this? Do you really resent me that much?"

"I'm not made of steel. I have my limits just like everyone else."

"You're forgetting that I have limitations too. Just because I'm in charge, it doesn't mean that I don't have my faults."

"I am well aware of your limitations. Look, we're just going around in circles and getting nowhere. Frankly speaking, I'm tired of talking about this. The bottom line is that while you are my boss, it doesn't give you any right to probe into my private life. Whatever happens to me outside of work is nobody's business, but my own. It doesn't concern you and I would appreciate you staying out of it."

"Except that I can't ignore you when you're making a mistake that could ruin your life."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Just…I don't want you to go down a path that you may regret. I know I have no business interfering…"

"Then don't."

"I can't stand by and watch you jeopardize everything you've worked so hard for to throw it away as if it meant nothing. Kent, you're a part of the team. What affects you, affects everyone. The others care about you too."

"I don't think I'm that highly regarded. Everyone always teases me and whispers behind my back. No one even stood up for me when Mansell punched me. You didn't even care enough to ask if I was all right. All you cared about was appearances and how it would reflect badly on your reputation."

"You know me better than that. I just can't believe that you could have changed this much in such a short time."

"I haven't changed. I'm just being realistic. With all due respect sir, please, just leave me alone. That's the least you can do."

"Are you using protection?" Chandler blurted out.

"What?!" Kent replied in disbelief. Were his ears deceiving him?

"I know you've been seeing other people. It hasn't exactly been a secret around the station. I just wanted to make sure that you were using proper protection."

"Actually, I thought it would fun to have unprotected sex just to spice up my dull boring life," Kent replied sarcastically. "I'm not ignorant and I'm not as innocent as everyone seems to think I am. This isn't my first time around you know."

Chandler's eyes flashed concern. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"And what would you do about it if that happened? Would you comfort me? Would you hold me or touch me? Would you be able to make love to me if I asked you to?" Kent replied bluntly.

Chandler's silence echoed loudly in the tense room as the older man could say nothing in his defense. The silence was almost deafening.

"That's what I thought." Kent went over to open the door and waited at the threshold, signaling that Chandler had worn out his welcome. "Thank you for your concern, but I'm afraid you've wasted a trip."

Chandler reluctantly headed for the exit, but paused before leaving.

"I want you to know that my door is open if you ever need anything. I will always care about you, Kent. No matter what happens."

The younger man closed the door firmly after Chandler left, then paused briefly before leaning his forehead against the back panel and closed his eyes. Now that Chandler was gone, Kent didn't have the energy to pretend anymore as his defenses came crashing down around him.

"Why did you have to say that?"

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Upload date: 21July2016 PST

_A/N: I enjoyed writing this confrontation for many reasons, but mainly because Kent never got a chance to express how hurt he really was at various times during the TV series. It really gave me a chance to stretch my writing muscles, so to speak. Was I being too hard on Chandler? Maybe just a tad ;)_


	6. Danger Zone

Surprise! Another chapter for you! Consider the quick turnaround a gift for your support in reading my story and for the helpful comments. It gives me insight and another point of view which is extremely helpful. 

WARNING: This installment has adult themes and some violence. Nothing gory, but just thought you should know.

**Chapter 6: Danger Zone**

* * *

 

Chandler stared out into the night from his office window with his brow furrowed in deep thought. He was the last to remain behind, which was no different than any other week night. Accept that on this particular night, his mind was preoccupied with his recent confrontation with Kent. He certainly hadn't expected to discover that his own DC had developed romantic feelings for him, considering that Chandler saw nothing in himself that Kent would find attractive. But the longer he dwelt on it, the more it made sense. Chandler let out a heavy sigh. He would never forget the look in Kent's eyes when he admitted that he had given up on him. There had been a profound sadness and a sense of hopelessness that cut deep into Chandler's heart because he knew that look all too well. It was the same empty look that stared back at him whenever he had gazed into his mother's eyes. Chandler was also troubled by this new development because in spite of all his posturing and protests, there was in fact a part of him that felt connected to Kent on a deeply emotional and personal level.

Chandler closed his eyes briefly as he pinched the bridge of his nose, which he tended to do when he was deeply troubled. He didn't need this drama right now. The staff was knee-deep in another gruesome murder spree that needed his full attention. He couldn't lose focus on his personal problems when there were lives that depended on the team's ability to quickly find the perpetrator of these heinous crimes. He needed everyone to focus all their efforts and put their personal feelings aside for the sake of the case. Yet, Chandler himself could not even do that at the moment as his thoughts were consumed with his complicated situation with Kent. This presented a huge wedge between them that never existed before. Their relationship had always been special even though Chandler never expressed it in so many words. He had never been good when it came to relationships; certainly not of the romantic persuasion. Relationships. What a joke. He was about as good with relationships as he was with being able to let go of the past.

As much as it pained Chandler to admit it, he had come to the realization that everything Kent pointed out had been unfortunately accurate. It all made sense now; the eagerness to please, the shy awkward smiles, the furtive glances from time to time. The tell-tale signs from Kent had always been there. Chandler felt like such an idiot. He was a senior detective and yet he couldn't even figure out that his own DC had feelings for him all this time. He had even missed the most obvious clue when Kent had invited him to the pub after the cult case had been solved. That little slip of the tongue should have tipped Chandler off immediately. Either way, it was a difficult and painful situation all around for the both of them.

Chandler was not one to let personal feelings get in the way of his professional life very often. After all, he had learned at a very young age to hold back his feelings and maintain control at all times. On only a few occasions did he allow others into his inner circle, like Miles and the Commander. He was at a complete loss on how to deal with this new development, because this time, Kent was involved; someone whose trust he had already betrayed. He was the last person that Chandler wanted to hurt. But in the grand scheme of things, it didn't matter one iota what his intentions were. The damage had already been done. Kent had every reason to doubt his sincerity.

Chandler suddenly pounded the heel of his clenched fist against the wall in frustration. Why did it have to be this way? Why did things have to change?

* * *

 

"I thought you quit that habit."

Kent turned around and saw Miles walking up to him in the back courtyard. It was not unusual these days for him to disappear during his breaks and take refuge in his usual hiding place whenever things became too much to handle. Ever since his confrontation with Chandler, Kent had completely cut himself off from everyone. Before, he would at least engage in some banter, but now he didn't speak unless he was spoken to. He just didn't want to deal with the hushed whispers and idle gossip that went on behind his back as the others speculated on what was "wrong" with him. In actuality, it was more so to escape from being around Chandler himself. There were times when it was just too much to be near to him knowing that nothing would ever happen between them, especially now that Chandler was aware of Kent's feelings for him. Even though Kent resolved to move forward, he found it hard to do when he still had to work with Chandler. It was a slow, agonizing torture. He knew that it was going to be hard, but he didn't realize it was going to be THIS hard.

The brooding DC released a plume of smoke from his cigarette watching it dissipate into the cold air. There was an air of indifference about him that hovered like a dark storm cloud. "So I went back to smoking. Is there a law against it?"

"Not at all. But I know you, Kent. You only resort to smoking when you're really messed up inside."

"I came out here to be alone; not to be given a lecture. I've had enough of those to last a lifetime."

"I'm not here to give you a lecture. But as an impartial observer, I can tell that you've been having a hard go of it lately. It might help if you talked to someone about it."

"No offense, but I don't feel like talking with you or anyone else right now."

"Works for me. I'll do all the talking and you can just listen."

"Skip, I really don't think…"

"Don't bother giving me the brushoff, Kent. I've known you ever since you started as a pup here. You haven't started doing the hard stuff, have you?"

Kent threw his cigarette butt on the ground and squashed it beneath his shoe. "You know me better than that. I would never do anything to jeopardize my position here."

"No use hiding it. I've been through it all and I know the signs. I've seen where that road leads to and it isn't pretty. You can fool everyone else, but you can't fool me."

"That's where you're wrong. The only fool here is me," Kent replied despondently.

Miles crossed the gap between them and put a surprisingly comforting hand on Kent's shoulder.

"If you won't talk to me, then why don't you try talking to the boss and tell him what's bothering you? Maybe he can help."

"I wish everyone would just leave me the hell alone," he replied in frustration. "I'm not some charity case that needs to be pitied. And I don't need the boss's help or anyone else's."

"Oh, I get it. Something happened between you two and now you're sulking. It's written all over your face."

"Nothing happened between us," Kent replied softly. "Nothing is ever going to happen. That's the problem."

There was a long moment of silence between them as Miles contemplated his response to what he pretty much suspected ever since Kent returned from Sheffield. He had always known that the the impressionable young DC had been sweet on the boss for awhile, but he never imagined that Kent would give up on him after all this time. Whatever made him give up must have been a real doozy.

"Then leave."

Kent stared at the older detective in stunned surprise. Although DS Miles could be brutally frank, he was never intentionally hurtful towards him.

"But if you're serious about Chandler, then stop brooding like some lovesick teenager and do something about it. I didn't teach you to be a quitter."

"You just don't understand. Nobody does."

"Oh yes I do. You're not the only one who's ever had their heart broken. I know you're discouraged right now, but you can't give up. Not when you've come this far."

"It's no use. I'm in a no-win situation. If I stay here, I'll be constantly reminded of what I can't have. But if I go, I'll be leaving the only the place I've ever called home. I don't know what to do anymore."

"Then you have to ask yourself what it is that you really want. Once you've made up your mind, the rest is up to you."

"I know what I want, Skip. I just can't have it. It's just no use. The boss won't change his mind about me. You of all people know what he's like."

"You're just making assumptions. How do you know how Chandler will react if you don't give him a chance and tell him the truth?"

"I already know how he feels. He doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I can't complete with the likes of DI Norroy and Morgan Lamb. If that's the way he feels, then there's nothing I can do about it."

Miles couldn't help but feel empathy for Kent's plight. Joseph Chandler was not an easy man to get to know and he was even harder to understand. He could be stubborn, pigheaded, and a pain in the ass. Miles could personally attest to all the times they had butted heads against each other and the arguments that ensued. But Chandler was also compassionate, loyal, and remained steadfast in his ideals. Perhaps the most impressive, was that he was always attentive to his conscience.

"I wish I could do something to help," Miles offered sympathetically.

"That makes two of us. I appreciate the concern Skip, but I just need a little space right now all right?"

"Suit yourself. Don't stay out here too long, hm? Or else Chandler will make me come out to get you again."

"You won't say a word of this to him, will you?"

"Hey, it's none of my business. But if you want my two cents, I think you would have been good for him."

Kent genuinely smiled in gratitude as he watched the older detective go back into the main building. It felt like ages since he last smiled. Or had a reason to.

* * *

 

Chandler looked up from his desk and saw Kent working diligently at his computer as if he didn't have a care in the world. Despite the calmness of the situation, no one would ever guess that their relationship was on the brink of disaster. Several weeks had passed, but there was no change in their situation. There were faint shadows under Kent's eyes and he looked like he had lost some weight. As if he wasn't already thin enough. Chandler took some ointment from the small jar on his desk, put both hands to his temples and rubbed them in circles with his fingertips, but it didn't help ease the tension he was experiencing. Despite being near each other, their desks might as well have been in different buildings. Ever since Riley informed him of Kent's extracurricular activities, Chandler had begun to notice that Kent would leave with different suitors after work from time to time and it bothered him to no end. He couldn't help but notice that they weren't exactly the genteel sort. He doubted that they had very much in common. They weren't good enough for someone like Kent as far as Chandler was concerned. Kent deserved so much better. And yet, there was not a single thing Chandler could do about it. If it had been a work-related issue, that was one thing. But since this was personal issue, he was at a loss on how to handle the situation.

True to his word, Kent hadn't allowed their delicate situation interfere with work, but it left a tangible uneasiness and changed the dynamic between them so much that everyone in the group couldn't help but notice. Kent was no longer that innocent, eager-to-please, and in some ways, naive detective constable who would come to Chandler whenever he had a lead or needed reassurance. Now, he had become sullen, embittered, and disillusioned. In other words, he had become exactly like Chandler, which was the very last thing the DI wanted. He couldn't blame Kent under the circumstances for wanting to keep his distance. But still, he wished that they could maintain what they once had. It was naive and wishful thinking and more importantly, it was a selfish desire on Chandler's part because he needed to be in control again. Kent had every right to live his life on his own terms without interference from others. But it didn't mean that Chandler had to like it.

* * *

 

"Kent, wait," Chandler blurted out as his subordinate was about to make his exit later that same evening.

Kent's body became visibly tense as they were the only two people left in the incident room. They hadn't been left alone together since Chandler discovered the truth about Kent's feelings for him. Ever since then, Kent had been doing everything possible to continue the status quo.

"Yes, sir?" the younger detective replied without turning around.

"This can't go on."

"What can't?"

"This situation between us. I can't stand it any longer."

Kent slowly turned around to face Chandler. His face showed little emotion.

"I don't think you're in any position to complain. After all, this doesn't affect you in any way. And you don't stand to lose anything."

"That's where you're wrong. I'm in jeopardy of losing someone I care about very much. This is ridiculous, Kent. We're both rational and reasonable adults. Can't we find some common ground and go forward? Can't we reach some sort of understanding for both our sakes?"

"I understood what you said perfectly the other night. It's not my problem if you're having difficulty adjusting."

"From my observations, I'm not the only one that's been having trouble adjusting."

"Then perhaps you need to get your eyes checked. We've been through this already. Why can't you just let it go?"

"Why do you want me to?" Chandler replied softly.

"You are really some piece of work," Kent replied in annoyance. In a move similar to what Chandler would do, Kent put a hand to his forehead, rubbing it back and forth. "I mean, what more do you want? I get it, okay? You don't want to be in a relationship with me. Do you have to keep rubbing it in my face by pretending to care? Isn't it enough that I can't have a moment's peace without everyone insisting that they just want to help me like I'm some poor pitiful soul?"

Chandler suddenly crossed the gap between them and grabbed Kent's wrist gently, but firmly in his hand; much to the surprise and shock of the younger detective. He lifted up Kent's forearm to the light and pulled back the shirt cuff to inspect the faintly visible bruise marks on Kent's wrist. They were actually bruises from a while back that were just beginning to fade. But with his pale complexion, it looked worse than it really was. Kent thought nobody would notice since he had managed to hide similar bruising on previous occasions. He was surprised that Chandler noticed. His touch was warm, smooth, and almost hypnotic, making Kent shift uncomfortably. The most frustrating part was that Chandler didn't seem to realize just how much of an effect he had on the younger man.

"What happened?" Chandler demanded in a grim voice.

"Nothing. It was an accident," Kent replied in agitation as he tried remove his hand. Chandler's grip was gentle, but firmly immovable. "It's not that serious."

"I'll be the judge of that. This was no accident. Did one of your partners do this to you?"

Kent angrily wrenched his arm away. "That's none your business!"

"Like hell it isn't! I'm asking you as your reporting officer. What happened?"

"Is that a direct order?"

"If that's the only way to get the truth out of you, then yes." It was obvious that Chandler had no intention of letting the matter rest.

"The guy I meet with gets a little rough sometimes. Whenever he's frustrated he takes it out on me. Satisfied now?"

"You mean your partner has done this to you before?" Chandler replied, barely containing his anger. "Why did you allow him to hurt you like this?"

"He's not my partner. He's just someone I see off and on. And I don't know why you're making such a big deal about this."

"Because you aren't willing to. Kent, you don't deserve this. No one does. Surely, you don't approve of his actions?"

"He's under a lot of pressure from his job and needs to let off some steam from time to time. It's only happened a couple of times."

"And that's supposed to excuse his actions?" Chandler replied incredulously. "You're just enabling his reprehensible behavior by keeping silent. Surely, you can find a much more suitable partner. Someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

"Are you volunteering to take his place?"

"You know that's out of the question."

"Then we have nothing further to discuss. Thank you for your concern, sir, but it isn't necessary. I'm off duty now. I'm not obligated to share the intimate details of my life beyond these walls with anyone. Especially not with you."

"You've always been a rational and level-headed person. What you're doing is not only foolish, but dangerous as well. I shouldn't have to tell you that."

"Why are you telling me in the first place? It's not as if I mean anything to you."

"You know that's not true. Just because I can't be in a relationship with you, doesn't mean that you're not important to me. I don't blame you for resenting my interference Kent, but is it really necessary to question my sincerity as well? I'm genuinely concerned for your safety and well-being. You and I have both seen the results of domestic violence from the police reports. I don't want you ending up as another statistic."

Kent looked away in distraction as he was affected by Chandler's tone. He certainly sounded as though he meant what he said. "We all have our own ways of dealing with problems. You have no right to make any judgments."

"Are you deliberately doing this to get back at me?" Chandler asked quietly.

Kent immediately whipped his head back as he turned to look at Chandler square in the eye.

"I won't even dignify that with an answer. Do you really think I'm that kind of person?"

"That's not what I meant. Oh hell, I don't know what I meant. Look, I don't want you going out with someone who's going to hurt you. Sometimes people get caught up in the moment and don't see the forest for the trees."

"And of course, you know what's best for me, right?"

"I only want the best for you. Hate me all you want, but I just can't stand by and watch you make a mistake that could hurt you even more."

"It's a little too late to start showing concern now," Kent replied softly before turning away.

Chandler could only watch helplessly as Kent left the incident room and out into the night. In his state of mind, Kent wasn't going to listen to reason. Unfortunately, there was nothing Chandler could do to stop him.

* * *

 

"Hey there, stranger."

Kent's eyes widened in surprise and annoyance to find that his on again-off again sex partner was leaning against Kent's Vespa waiting for him in the rear parking lot. Ian Tremaine had been the only person that didn't ask for any commitment from Kent, which was probably why he stayed with him so long. Until recently, the topic never came up. Which was exactly why Kent abruptly broke it off with him when Ian intimated that he wanted something more from their arrangement. After his confrontation with Chandler, Kent wasn't in any mood to be civil. He just wanted to go home.

"What do you want? I thought we agreed not to see each other anymore."

"As I recall, you broke it off with me. I didn't say that I would agree to it," the other man replied nonplussed by Kent's mood. Ian was young, brash, handsome in a roguish sort of way, and didn't lack for self-confidence. In fact, he had too much of it. He was nothing like Chandler, which was exactly why Kent gravitated towards him and anyone like him. Kent didn't need any more reminders of what he couldn't have.

"You knew what I meant. Look, it's not working out. Let's just call it quits and go our separate ways."

"Give me a chance, Emerson. Let me show you how good it can be again. Besides, you know you want me."

"I said NO. Would you stop bothering me?"

"It's because of him, isn't it? The guy that's got a hold of you."

"Why are you so obsessed with that?"

"Maybe because every time I mention it, you get in a pissy mood."

"Then maybe you should stop bringing it up every time."

"He's not worth it, Em. I'll make you forget all about him. That is, unless you don't want to forget about him."

Kent immediately averted his gaze to avoid looking at Ian as he remained silent.

"That's it, isn't it? You're still not over him."

"There's nothing to get over. And he's not the reason I broke up with you, all right?"

"Who are you trying to kid? You never really got over that guy. That's why you never wanted to make a commitment with anyone."

"Just because we slept together a couple of times doesn't mean you get to psychoanalyze my actions. And I distinctly told you to never mention that topic again. That's your problem, Ian. You only listen to yourself because you're a selfish, conceited jerk. If you really want to know, you just couldn't satisfy me, all right? The truth is that you never could. That's why you always resorted to using force, because you weren't man enough to satisfy me."

Before Kent knew what happened, Ian turned him around and threw him roughly against the brick wall, knocking the wind out of him upon impact. He then reached for Kent's wrist and twisted his arm behind his back as he dragged him to an area hidden from plain view and out of the range of the CCTV cameras into a dark alley. Kent struggled to breathe and hissed in pain when his arm was twisted tighter.

"You ungrateful, little slut," Ian murmured against his ear as he pinned Kent's body against the wall. "Do you really think I'm just going to let a little prick like you talk to me like that? Just who the hell do you think you are?"

"Let go of me, you bastard!" Kent yelled, struggling to get free. Unfortunately, he was no match for the other man's strength. "You're assaulting a police officer. You won't get away with this."

"Like that's gonna scare me. It's time I taught you a lesson you'll never forget. You messed with the wrong guy."

To Kent's horror, he felt his shirt buttons being ripped apart as the cool night air met his fair skin. Ian's free hand began to paw all over him making Kent feel sick to his stomach. When he reached for Kent's belt buckle and began to fumble with the opening of his trousers, Kent froze in familiar terror as flashbacks of being striped several years ago flooded into his brain. Back then, he remembered the feeling of helplessness and the inevitability that he would die as his life flashed before his eyes. It was déjà vu all over again as he was at the mercy of his attacker.

"No! I won't let it happen again!" Kent vowed as he snapped out of his daze. He knocked his head backward, viciously head-butting his assailant while at the same time used the back of his heel to kick at Ian's shin. Ian immediately release him, cursing in pain. Normally, Kent would have taken him on, but due to Ian's brute strength and size, Kent knew from experience that he would have a better chance to run away and get reinforcements. He used the opportunity to make a break for it and ran towards the back entrance to the police station, but before Kent could open the door, he was tackled to the ground from behind and pulled into the shadows. Ian turned him around and pinned Kent's wrists to the ground beside his head as he hovered over him menacingly. Kent grimaced in pain as Ian tightened his grip like a vice like in previous times.

"No one is coming to help you. So why don't you be a good boy and just enjoy it? You wouldn't want it to hurt again, would you? It would be a such a shame to hurt your pretty face as well."

Kent opened his mouth to scream for help but Ian covered his mouth with his lips, grinding them painfully against his teeth as punishment. Kent felt nothing but revulsion and disgust. He bit down hard on the other man's lips and struggled to get away after Ian recoiled in pain. Before Kent knew it, he was dragged back and staggered to the ground as Ian punched him hard in retaliation. His head spun in circles as he tried to desperately to stay conscious. Unfortunately, he was quickly losing the battle as the sheer force of the punch coupled with his head hitting the hard cold ground rattled his brain. No matter how hard he tried, his body just wouldn't respond as Kent desperately tried to get up and fight back.

"When I get through with you, you'll wish you were never born," the bigger man replied hovering menacingly over Kent's prone body and began to unbuckle his own belt. His intentions were evident as he sneered mockingly at Kent's helplessness.

"No! I don't want this!" Kent's mind screamed as he tried to snap out of it. Was this how it was going to end?

And then all of a sudden, Ian was no longer on top of him. Kent went in and out of consciousness as he tried to clear his head. He eventually snapped out of his daze and managed to prop himself up against the wall. His vision was slightly blurred as he tried to focus in the direction of where he presumed Ian was. He immediately tensed when it became eerily silent. A shadowy figure turned in his direction, got up slowly and approached Kent. Chills ran down his back as he pressed against the cold damp wall behind him and braced himself for another attack.

"Are you all right?" a familiar voice came from out of the dark.

Kent looked up and saw Chandler kneeling in front of him as he reached over to gently grasp his shoulders. His hands. They were so gentle and warm, just like before. Was this all a dream?

"It's me, DI Chandler," he repeated to reassure Kent. "Don't worry. You're safe now."

"Sir? You're the one who rescued me? But why are you still here?"

"I forgot some files. It's a good thing I came back to the station when I did. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have made it time."

After retrieving his case files, Chandler had heard the commotion in the back lot from his office and went to investigate. At first Chandler thought it was lover's quarrel so he kept his distance while hiding discretely around the corner, but when he heard the sound of a punch and heard Kent's groan, he was seized with an uncontrollable urge to knock the crap out the bastard that dared to lay a hand on his DC. Chandler had flown out like a bat out of hell and proceeded to pummel Ian to the ground, eventually knocking the other man unconscious after their scuffle.

"You're bleeding," Kent noticed in concern when he saw a thin trickle of blood oozing from the side of Chandler's mouth. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

Chandler self-consciously dabbed the affected area with his pristine handkerchief.

"That's just what I was about to ask you. Don't worry. It takes more than that lowlife to take me down. Unfortunately the same can't be said for him."

"You mean he's…?" Kent asked in fear. He didn't want Chandler to get into trouble on his account.

"He's unconscious, but he'll live."

"He tried to…to…" Kent stammered uncomfortably.

"I know. But he didn't succeed," Chandler cooed soothingly as he helped Kent up to his feet. "I'm more concerned about you. Do you think you can walk on your own?"

"Yeah, I think so. But what about Ian? We can't just leave him here like that."

"I've notified the local PCs on duty. They'll be here shortly and arrest him for assault and battery. You'll need to make a statement if you're going to press charges."

"Isn't there another way? I don't want anyone to know about this."

"He's already attempted to violate you. Don't let him to get away with it."

"I know, but...I feel like such an idiot letting him get the upper hand. I made the mistake of underestimating him when I knew that he had a short temper. I knew that I was playing with fire."

"Kent, it wasn't your fault. He took you by surprise when he attacked you. There's no shame in that."

"That's no excuse. Face it. I should have been prepared for anything. I'm a failure as a cop."

"Stop talking nonsense. It could have happened to anyone."

"But it happened to me," the younger detective replied, lowering his gaze to the ground. "It's just like what happened last time I was attacked. Everyone will think I can't handle myself and that I don't have any business being a detective constable."

Chandler frowned. "If anyone as much as snickers at you, I will personally see to it that they work double shifts until they beg for your forgiveness. I'll stand by you no matter what."

Kent stared into Chandler's blue eyes and for the first time realized just how much Chandler cared about him. He previously thought that Chandler only showed concern out of a sense of duty and not because of any personal reasons. Of course, it didn't help that they had just had one of their biggest arguments a few days ago and Kent wasn't in any frame of mind to be reasonable. At that moment, it didn't matter that Chandler didn't love him or that the future was uncertain. All that mattered was that Chandler was there for him when Kent needed him the most.

"Thank you, sir," Kent replied gently as he gave a heartfelt smile.

Chandler suddenly felt his heart flutter slightly. It seemed like ages since Kent looked at him with such adoring eyes. Had they always been so brown? His eyes drifted lower and suddenly realized that Kent's naked upper torso was exposed before him.

"You must be cold," Chandler replied quickly. "You can't leave looking like that."

Kent felt self-conscious about his appearance and immediately held the remnants of his torn shirt together with his hand.

"I'll loan you one of my shirts after you give your official statement. I've got a spare in my office."

"Do you always keep a spare shirt in your office, sir?"

"Would it surprise you if I did?" Chandler replied with a wry chagrin.

Kent didn't hesitate in his response. "No. I've always thought you would be prepared for anything."

This time it was Chandler's turn to smile.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

 

Upload date: 22July2016 PST

 _A/N: This was a little departure for me since I haven't written using violence for most of my WC stories. I just thought it was important to have Kent realize the danger he was in as well as for Chandler to realize that_   _Kent means more to him than even he realizes._


	7. Truce

**Chapter 7: Truce**

* * *

 

"I know that wasn't easy for you. But you did the right thing," Chandler said encouragingly as he ushered Kent into his flat several hours later. After going through the process of booking Ian, Chandler insisted that Kent go to hospital for a full check up, much to the younger man's displeasure. Kent had a prior history with hospitals that left him with bad memories.

"Thank you for being there with me when I gave my statement. But you didn't have to go with me to hospital as well. And you certainly didn't have to see me home."

"I wanted to make sure that you were all right. I know how you hate hospitals."

"I'm surprised you remembered that, sir. That was almost six years ago when I mentioned it," Kent replied in genuine surprise.

"Well, after what you just went through, I wasn't about to leave you alone. Are you sure you're all right?"

"Quite sure. The doctor gave me a clean bill of health, didn't he?"

"Then why did he give you a sedative?"

"He just gave me that to help me fall sleep. There are no signs of concussion or broken bones. Other than some bruising and a few scrapes, I'm fine."

"That's a relief. I'm glad you're all right, Kent."

"So am I, thanks to you. If you hadn't come back when you did...I mean, it really could have been bad back there. I thought I wasn't going to make it out in one piece."

"But I DID come back. And I promise that lowlife will pay for his crimes for hurting you. No one gets away with assaulting one of my team members."

Kent was immediately filled with reassurance. "Lucky for me that we're on the same side. Look at the time. You must be starving. It's been a long day and you probably haven't had anything to eat since lunch. Would you like to stay for a late supper?"

"Thank you, but I don't want to impose. Besides, I'm not that hungry."

Kent couldn't help laughing when he heard a distinctly loud rumbling coming from Chandler's stomach, contradicting his statement.

"I've got some leftover stew that you're welcome to. It's not fancy, but it's better than nothing."

"It would be too much trouble. And I'm sure you'd like to get some rest."

"I'm still a little wound up anyway and wouldn't mind a bit of a nosh before going to bed. And it's no trouble. All we have to do is heat it up."

"Are you sure?" Chandler asked uncertainly.

"Positive. It's a long trip back home for you and the least I can do is feed you. I just hope you won't mind heating it yourself while I go and clean up. I feel like I passed out in the gutter and took the gutter with me."

"What about your flat mates? Won't they mind me being here so late?"

"They work at night anyway, so that's not a problem. Please accept this as a small token of my gratitude."

"In that case, I'd love to stay."

"I'll only be a few minutes. The stew is in a blue plastic bin on the top shelf in the 'fridge. Make yourself at home."

Chandler took off his dress jacket laying it neatly across the back of one of the arm chairs and loosened his tie as he headed towards the kitchen area before rolling up his sleeves. He was admittedly drained as it had been a long eventful day and a hearty meal would hit the spot. As he set the table and heated up their dinner, Chandler couldn't help but think about how ironic the situation was. In the middle of all the chaotic events of the past few weeks, he and Kent were about to have a meal together as if nothing ever happened. For weeks, there had been nothing but tension and awkwardness. Now, there was an opportunity to mend some broken fences between them. Chandler realized that nothing was fixed just yet, but at least it was a step in the right direction. He just hoped that it wasn't too late.

While Chandler waited for his subordinate to return, he surveyed Kent's flat to pass the time. It was rather on the small side considering several people were living there, but it was neat and organized except for a few pieces of stray clothing that were strewn haphazardly in certain areas. What immediately caught his eye was a picture in the hallway of a much younger Kent strumming an acoustic guitar. From his body language, it looked as though he was embarrassed at having his picture taken. Chandler didn't even know that Kent liked music. He looked so relaxed and natural. His smile radiated brightly reflecting his obvious love of music. Lately, that smile had been missing in action for far too long.

Chandler never realized until now how much he missed seeing Kent's infectious smile. The image of Kent with his guitar made Chandler a little sad as he realized that there was so much of his subordinate that he still didn't know about. He had nearly six years to get to know him, but in all that time, Chandler never made a real effort. He had been too wrapped up in his own world to even make an attempt. It pained him to acknowledge that he didn't know Kent any better now than when he first came to Whitechapel. It was no wonder Kent felt like he didn't matter as far as Chandler was concerned. He had never been given any reason to think otherwise. Little did Kent know that nothing could be further from the truth. He mattered a great deal more than even Chandler himself realized.

* * *

 

"You didn't have to wait for me," Kent noted as he came into the kitchen a few minutes later. He looked even younger now that he was dressed in casual clothes. He wore a gray short-sleeved t-shirt tucked into a pair of worn-out slim-fitting jeans that emphasized his flat stomach and narrow hips. His hair was slightly wet from the shower as his dark curls framed his forehead and the back of his neck. He reminded Chandler of an angel for some reason. Unfortunately, the fresh bruises at the corner of his mouth and on his wrists stood out against his fair skin as a grim reminder of the evening's unfortunate events. Kent appeared to be none the worse for wear after his ordeal, which showed just how strong he was in both body and spirit.

"I wouldn't feel right especially since it's your food. Besides, I wanted to wait for you."

"Thank you for setting everything up. Let's not stand on ceremony and just dig in, shall we?"

"My stomach thanks you," Chandler replied, immediately doling out big heaping servings of stew for the both of them.

To Kent's surprise, Chandler was shoveling in food like he hadn't eaten in weeks. Kent would have liked to think that it was due to his cooking skills, but he was almost certain that it was more out of hunger. But he didn't mind. It was nice to see Chandler in a relaxed mood for a change. It was such a contrast to his usual business-like, authoritative persona. The man sitting before him wasn't Detective Inspector Chandler, but just your average everyday person enjoying a hot meal after a hard day's work.

"This is kind of strange, isn't it?" Chandler commented in between mouthfuls.

"What do you mean, sir?" Kent replied while passing him some rolls. His fingers accidentally brushed against Chandler's fingers as he handed him the plate. The tingling sensation affected them both as they stared at each other. Chandler paused for a moment before gently pulling away.

"Um, I meant the last time I was here, we weren't exactly on the friendliest of terms with each other."

"A lot of that was my fault."

"Don't take all the credit. I was just as much at fault as well," Chandler corrected him immediately.

"Does this make you uncomfortable?" Kent asked softly. "Being alone with me like this?"

This time Chandler didn't hesitate in his reply. "I'm perfectly comfortable with you, Kent. I always have been."

Kent blushed slightly. It wasn't often that he got to spend time alone with Chandler away from work, let alone have a meal with him like this.

"You don't have to make excuses on my account."

"I meant what I said. It doesn't bother me, Kent," Chandler reiterated firmly. "I want to be here with you."

This time the warm feeling that began in his cheeks, spread throughout his body from the crown of his curly haired head to the tips of his toes.

"You're even hungrier than I thought. You're beginning to hallucinate now," Kent replied with a straight face.

For a split second, Chandler froze, not certain how to react. When Kent broke into a small smile, it was then that he realized Kent was only teasing him. Chandler could help, but smile back.

* * *

 

"How are you feeling?" Chandler asked as they sat in the living room on opposite ends of the sofa after finishing their late dinner.

"Not too bad. Although I'm sure I'll feel like hell in the morning. Some of my muscles are already starting to stiffen up," Kent replied as he arched his back and stretched out his arms.

"Are you sure you're all right? I mean, that bastard roughed you up pretty good."

"For the hundredth time, I'm fine. Maybe we should go back to the hospital and have them check me over again. Better yet, maybe I should stay overnight as a precaution. Will that satisfy you?"

"All right, all right. You'll have to forgive me for fretting like a mother hen. But when someone goes after one of my team members, I take it very personally."

"After the way you took care of Ian, I don't think anyone will doubt your word. If memory serves me correctly, you did a pretty good number on Jimmy Kray as well."

"I usually don't resort to violence, but sometimes it's necessary. I will admit that it felt pretty good to wipe that smug grin off of his face, especially after what they did to you."

"Remind me to never cross your path. Boy, that sedative the doctor gave me is really starting to take effect," Kent replied, unable to keep from yawning. "That's some strong stuff. I can barely keep my eyes open."

"Perhaps I should leave. It's been a long eventful day and I'm sure you would like to get some rest."

"Please stay a little while longer, sir. I mean, I know it's late, but I wouldn't mind some company for a bit."

Chandler could hear the fear and uncertainty in his voice. It was understandable, considering what happened earlier. He leaned slightly forward, sensing Kent's anxiety.

"You don't have to worry. They've locked up that scumbag and have everything they need to convict him. He's not going anywhere. But if it will make you feel better, I'll stay as long as you want me to."

"How did you know what I was thinking?" Kent asked curiously.

"I've known you for almost six years Kent. Whenever you feel uneasy about something, you always come to me for reassurance."

Kent's eyes widened in obvious surprise at this revelation, and even more to the point that Chandler noticed it. "I didn't even realize I was doing that. I didn't mean to bother you."

"If it bothered me, I would have told you right away."

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you?"

"Not if my life depended on it. By the way, for whatever its worth I'm sorry for your loss," Chandler replied softly. "I mean, I know that you and Ian were..."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but you don't have to feel sorry. Ian didn't mean anything to me."

"But weren't you two…?"

"He was just an acquaintance that wanted more than I was willing to give him. Like I said, we had an open arrangement when it came to seeing each other. But he always had to have his way in the end. That's why he went off on me because he couldn't accept being rejected. I told him it was over between us awhile ago."

"Oh," Chandler replied neutrally. Outwardly, he showed no emotion but he was extremely relieved to hear that Kent was no longer emotionally nor physically linked to that man.

"I should have broke it off sooner. Perhaps if I had listened to reason, I wouldn't have hooked up with someone like him. I mean, I knew he was bad news, but that didn't stop me."

"I just can't fathom why would you stay in such a toxic relationship and allow someone like that to hurt you repeatedly."

"I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand."

"Try me."

"I was lonely and he happened to be there," Kent replied simply and without guile.

"That's hardly a reason to be with someone."

"I told you that you wouldn't understand. Haven't you ever experienced loneliness before? I mean real aching loneliness?"

"More times than you could ever imagine," Chandler replied softly. "But I've never allowed myself to succumb to those feelings, knowing that there could be irreparable consequences if I acted impulsively."

"Unfortunately, I don't have that kind of self-control. I have needs like everyone else. That being said, I didn't want to be tied down either. I didn't want any emotional ties and Ian was the only one that didn't mind having an open relationship with me. He didn't want any commitments at first and only came around when he was in town, which wasn't very often. That suited me fine."

"I'm surprised that you would settle for anything less than you deserve. I don't know how a person could hurt someone they claim to care about."

"As hard as it is to believe, Ian didn't hurt me in the beginning. But as time passed, he began to change. He was under a lot of pressure when he got a new job and had to travel more than he wanted to. He needed to let go of some of his frustrations and said that I was the only one that could help relieve his stress. Unfortunately, that meant that I was in the direct line of fire as well when he got into a mood. He was always apologetic the day after whenever he got too rough with me, but always insinuated that I made him do it."

Chandler could feel his blood pressure rising steadily in anger. "Typical behavior of an abuser. They always place the blame on the victim rather than on themselves."

"It wasn't like it happened all the time."

"One time or a dozen times, it was inexcusable what he did to you. You were willing to put up with his abuse for some time. And in doing so, it only perpetuated his despicable behavior. I don't want to even consider the possibilities of what could have happened if I hadn't been there tonight. You should have told me what you were going through."

"I'm not your responsibility when we're away from work," Kent replied indignantly. He resented being treated like a child. "Just because you're my boss doesn't mean that you have a say in what goes on in my life when I clock off."

"I beg to differ. Whatever you may think, we ARE friends. Friends lookout for one another. Friends protect each other. Were you so angry with me that you couldn't even come to me for help? Did you think I would look the other way and ignore you in your time of need?"

"I don't want to have to rely on you to bail me out whenever something goes wrong in my life. You yourself said that you wanted me to be more self-reliant."

"There's a difference between standing on your own two feet and knowing when to ask for help. I just wished you came to me when this whole ordeal began."

"Frankly sir, you were the last person I was going to confide in about this."

Chandler's anger disappeared as quickly as it came. "You're right, Kent. I probably would have done the same thing."

"If it makes you feel any better, I didn't confide in anyone else either. I guess I was so determined to move on from you, that I didn't care what happened to me. I guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I can't even fight off an assault in my own backyard. When I think of how Ian almost…I mean, if you hadn't shown up, he would have…"

Kent's voice trailed off as he lowered his gaze to the cushions in shame for not being able to fend off his attacker. Chandler hated the thought that Kent felt responsible for something that was obviously not his fault.

"Don't torture yourself. It's over now."

"Is it? Even after all this time, I sometimes still have nightmares about getting striped. I'll wake up in a cold sweat wondering if it was just a figment of my imagination. I can still remember the feeling of helplessness, the cold, remorseless voices taunting me from behind, knowing that I could die at any second. And then I see the scars on my backside, reminding me that it wasn't a nightmare. It really did happen. I'm supposed to be a Detective Constable. I should be stronger than that."

Chandler felt his heart constrict as he empathized with Kent's struggles to forget painful memories. He knew those struggles all too well.

"You're also human. We all try to escape our past demons, Kent. No matter how much we try to run away from them, they're always there because they're a part of us. But it doesn't mean we have to let those bad memories determine our future."

Kent looked up and gazed into Chandler's eyes. "Are you speaking from experience, sir?"

"I'm afraid I haven't been quite as successful as I would like to be in that department. But I'm working on it."

"Thank you for giving me an honest answer."

"I only wish I had been more honest with you from the beginning," Chandler replied with deep regret. "You were right, Kent. I've never really given you my support when you needed it. It seems like no matter what my intentions are, I always seem to cause you pain. I'm no better than your ex."

"That's not true. You're nothing like him. And you were there for me tonight when I needed you the most. I think that more than makes up for it. Don't you?"

"I was just doing what was needed. I didn't do it to be a hero," Chandler replied uncomfortably.

"I know that, sir. That's one of the reasons why I admire you so much."

"Even after everything that's happened between us, you still respect me?" Chandler asked in surprise.

"In spite of how I feel about our situation, it doesn't change how I see you as Detective Inspector, or as a person."

"You're a much bigger man that I am, Kent. I don't think most people wouldn't be quite as gracious if they had been in the same situation."

"Being gracious has nothing to do with it. I may have questioned your motives and actions in the beginning; perhaps even your abilities when you came to Whitechapel. But I never doubted your intentions. You've always tried to do the right thing. I can't fault you for that."

"If you had reservations about me, why did you support me when no one else did?"

"It's not like I had much choice. You won me over the minute you showed up in a Savile Row tuxedo," Kent replied softly. "Any reservations I had, flew immediately out of the window. You were so dashing and charismatic. I didn't have a chance."

Chandler felt his face flush hotly in embarrassment. He couldn't be any cuter at that moment as far as Kent was concerned.

"Sometimes you can be too honest, Kent," the DI replied uncomfortably.

"Isn't that what you always demanded? Honesty?"

"Some things are better left unspoken."

"Since we're being honest with each other, can I ask you a question, sir?"

"Of course. What is it?"

"I've always wondered why you chose me to go with you to question suspects when you first came to Whitechapel. You could have chosen anyone else. Why me?"

"Because you gave me a chance and you gave me respect even though you didn't know me well. And because you needed to get involved. It was obvious that you had potential. You just needed a chance and experience. Besides, no one else was listening to me at the time."

"That seems like a lifetime ago. You would think that I learned my lesson after what the Krays did to me."

"Kent, stop it. You're not doing yourself any good by dwelling on the past." The irony of his own words was not missed by Chandler.

"I can't help it. Back then I underestimated them and paid for my mistake. I did it again with Ian even though I knew deep down that he was bad for me. I'm such a bad judge of character, it's a wonder that I'm still in once piece."

Chandler's expression softened. "You can't be so hard on yourself. No one is perfect."

"Not even you?"

"Me, least of all. It's okay to make mistakes, Kent. What matters is that we learn from them and move forward."

"Do you think I'll be able to get past this as well?"

"I have no doubt that you'll come out stronger than before. You may not know it Kent, but you have an inner strength that can't be measured. I don't think anyone else would have come back so soon after being striped the way you did. The Krays tried everything to intimidate you, but you didn't let them. You wouldn't let them. Anyone with that kind of determination can handle anything."

"You're just saying that to be nice."

"I'm saying it because it's the truth. I know that the situation between us is not how we both would like it to be, but it doesn't change the fact that I still care about you. That has never changed."

"You really mean that, don't you?" Kent asked softly. It was more of a statement to convince himself of Chandler's motives. "I thought that you were just paying lip service when you first told me because you wanted to make amends."

"I always mean what I say. And I have always been honest with you, Kent. Haven't you learned to trust me by now?"

"I do trust you. My heart is a different matter."

Chandler found himself wanting to comfort Kent and make all his fears and uncertainties go away. He desperately fought the urge to reach up and touch Kent's cheek in response. It was a subconscious reaction that surprised him to the very core of his being. Where the hell did that even come from? Chandler felt his palms beginning to sweat as his heart raced in nervousness as everything about Kent's presence made Chandler's senses extra sensitive. All of a sudden if felt like the walls were closing in on him as he found it difficult to breathe. It was strange because he had never felt that way about Kent up to this point. Chandler needed a moment to gather his composure and more importantly, to escape the unprofessional thoughts about his subordinate that had suddenly surfaced.

"May I use your restroom?" he asked abruptly.

Kent's expression was one of resignation and then acceptance as though he knew that Chandler would run away. "It's the first door on the right as you enter the hallway."

Chandler used the opportunity to splash some cold water on his face after washing his hands vigorously allowing him time to regain his composure. The whole situation was ludicrous. Wasn't he the one who protested vehemently to both Miles and the Commander that there was no way that he would be interested in Kent? Didn't he practically kick and scream at the idea? Didn't he even tell Kent in no uncertain terms that they could never be together? It just didn't make sense. Perhaps it was just the aftermath of seeing Kent in physical danger that he was feeling more protective than usual. He just got carried away with the moment. Yes, that was surely the reason. It was the only logical explanation that made sense.

When Chandler returned to the living room, he found Kent slumped back against the sofa cushions with his eyes closed, sleeping peacefully. He stared pensively for a moment. It would have been a shame to disturb Kent, since he was already sleeping soundly. Chandler decided to let him rest and took the afghan on the sofa, draping it gingerly over Kent's shoulders. It had been quite a day for both of them. But at least they were talking to each other again and finally communicating. All of a sudden, Kent reached up and wrapped his arms around Chandler's upper torso, pinning the older man back against the opposite sofa arm so that he couldn't escape. He was dumbstruck with surprise as the still sleeping DC then placed his cheek against Chandler's chest as though it was a pillow and tightened his hold on him. Kent groaned softly while nuzzling his cheek against the strong, solid chest beneath his cheek, causing Chandler to gulp nervously. He could feel the warmth emanating from Kent's body through the thin material of his shirt and in turn warming his own body. Chandler gulped nervously as he could feel every curve of Kent's upper body pressed against him. He was literally trapped.

"Just five more minutes," Kent murmured drowsily before tightening his hold.

Chandler felt his breathing become ragged again. He had to calm down or he would hyperventilate. He forced himself to take deep breaths to slow down his heart beat until it was steady again. He was in an awkward position to be in both literally and figuratively. And he needed to get out of it sooner rather than later. If Kent suddenly woke up to find himself snuggled up against his boss it would have been more than a little awkward, considering the delicate situation between them. Perhaps if Chandler waited, he could pry himself away without waking Kent. Except that when he tried to move, Kent refused to relinquish his hold. It was as though he were clinging to a life preserver. There was nothing else Chandler could do without creating an even more awkward situation. Finally, he gave up trying. For the moment, he allowed Kent to maintain his position. He would just have to wait it out until he was sure that the younger man would not stir from any kind of movement.

As Chandler looked down at the serene sleeping face just below his chin, he found himself mesmerized by Kent's long eyelashes fanning against his pale cheeks. Funny how he never noticed it before all these years. Perhaps it was because it was the first time he had taken a really good look at Kent up close. The younger man was definitely striking as far as appearances go. Out of curiosity, Chandler took a closer look at Kent observing every curve and detail of his face. He was surprised to realize that Kent wasn't just striking. He was quite attractive for a man. How could he have missed the classic defined structure of Kent's high cheek bones, those pink rose-colored lips, and that irresistible unruly mop of wavy black curls that took a Herculean effort to tame? And his eyes...those big, gorgeous, chocolate brown eyes that seemed too big for his face. Even though Kent's eyes were closed, Chandler had no difficulty remembering their shape and deep rich color.

Against his better judgment, Chandler tentatively placed his arms around Kent's sleeping form. As much as he hated to admit it, having Kent cuddled up against him felt nice. In fact, it felt very nice. To think that Kent almost fell victim to a horrible and despicable act of violence made Chandler hold him even tighter. Back then, he remembered wanting to take on the Krays immediately, after seeing Kent on that hospital gurney before entering surgery. He wanted to make them pay with a vengeance for what they did to him. But when he saw Kent being assaulted with his own eyes, he almost beat Ian within an inch of his life. What was it about Kent that touched Chandler's heart?

After a while, exhaustion finally caught up with Chandler as he began to nod off. He may as well take a cat nap since he couldn't leave just yet. He rested his chin gently on top of Kent's head and closed his eyes, needing some much needed rest. All that could be heard in the room was the sound of their breaths as they inhaled and exhaled in unison. Before Chandler knew it, he fell soundly asleep on the sofa with Kent nestled securely in his arms.

**To Be Continued**

* * *

Upload date: 24July2016 PST

_A/N: Sigh. Wouldn't it be nice if these two would just stay like this forever?_


	8. The Decision

Hope you like reading because this chapter is a long one!

**Chapter 8: The Decision**

* * *

"Good lord, Emerson! You look like hell!" Riley remarked the minute Kent stepped into the office the next morning.

When Kent woke up, there had been no trace of Chandler, except for the shirt Kent had borrowed from the night before. He felt an expected letdown, considering how they put their differences aside and actually talked with each other for once. It felt like a breakthrough because Chandler had shared a part of himself with Kent that he never did before, which was a major breakthrough for him. It was helpful to clear the air between them in the aftermath of their tense confrontation a earlier as well. Not only was the truth finally out in the open, Kent didn't have to pretend anymore and hide behind false pretenses. He knew that nothing was solved yet, and he had no idea where their relationship would now go, but at least it was a promising start.

"You know, don't you?" he surmised.

"It's all over the building. Everyone has been buzzing about how the boss rescued you. Don't you feel special now?" Riley teased.

Kent groaned inwardly. He hated being the center of attention. He also knew that Chandler probably didn't like it much either.

"How much do you know?" he asked hesitantly.

"Word is that you got cuffed around a bit after getting into a row with someone you knew. Thank goodness the boss came back when he did."

Kent silently thanked Chandler for making sure personally that the police constables involved kept silent regarding the real nature of the disturbance.

"Speaking of the boss, is he here yet?"

"He's talking with Commander Anderson in his office. They've been at it for almost an hour."

"The Commander's here?" Kent replied worriedly. "Do you think the boss in trouble?"

"He might be. After all, it happened on police grounds and Chandler was personally involved. And you know how sensitive the Commander has been since the Ripper Copy Cat murders."

"This is all my fault. He wouldn't be in trouble if he hadn't intervened on my behalf."

"Don't worry about the boss. He can handle himself. I'm more worried about you."

"Really, I'm fine. I just want to get back to work and forget about last night."

"That might be difficult considering what I have to tell you. Emerson, I have a confession to make. You're probably going to hate me for this, but I was the snitch who told the boss about your situation."

"What? Riley, how could you?"

"I was worried. I had a feeling something was off when you kept seeing all those different blokes and I was afraid something terrible was going to happen to you if I didn't step in on your behalf."

"Don't you ever get tired of being right?" Kent replied softly.

"Does that mean you're not mad at me?"

"I didn't say that. You should have respected my privacy and kept your nose out of my business like I told you before."

"I know and I'm sorry. I wouldn't blame you if you never spoke to me again. Will it help if I promise to never interfere in your personal life from this moment on?"

"What good would it do? You'd still find a way to get involved whether I wanted you to or not. And besides, if you hadn't been your usual bossy and nosy self, maybe the boss wouldn't have been in the right place at the right time. Thanks for being such a pain the ass."

Riley brought Kent into her arms and hugged him warmly. "Anytime. I'm glad you're all right, Emerson. We all are."

"Even Mansell?"

"He wanted to go after the bastard when he found out what happened. We were ready to form a lynch mob, but DS Miles knocked some sense into us. We figured the boss did most of the work for us already."

"Wow. You all were ready to do that? I thought no one cared about me."

"Of course we care. You're a part of the team."

"For the first time in a long while, I'm beginning to feel like it."

* * *

"Sir? May I speak with you?" Kent asked tentatively later in the evening after everyone had left for the night.

Chandler lifted his head up from his desk as he was perusing some historical files. "Come in, Kent. What is it?"

"I can come back later if this isn't a good time."

"When is it ever a good time?" Chandler replied wryly. "Sorry. Bad attempt at a joke. What's on your mind?"

"I…um, I heard that the Commander stopped by this morning and spoke with you. I know it's not my place to ask, but did he give you a hard time about what happened last night?"

"I was appropriately reprimanded for my actions and rightly so," Chandler replied evasively. "Needless to say, he was not happy with the circumstances. Apparently, it doesn't look good for senior staff to be involved in all-out brawls."

"Would it help if I spoke with him and explained? Maybe he'll lessen your punishment."

"I appreciate the offer, but that won't be necessary. I knew the potential risks and was well aware of the repercussions when I acted last night. I have no regrets."

"But it wasn't your fault. You were just defending me."

"The Commander doesn't see it that way. But that's neither here nor there. I don't want you to give it a second thought, Kent. What's done is done. There's no use crying over spilled milk."

"How can I not feel guilty? You put yourself and your reputation on the line for my sake when you didn't have to."

"What do you mean I didn't have to?" Chandler replied immediately, slightly annoyed that Kent would even think that he could ignore him in his time of need. He got up from his desk and crossed the distance between them. "You were in danger and I wasn't about to let that bastard hurt you. Knowing what I now know about the nature of your relationship with Ian, I'm glad I acted the way that I did. If I had to do it all over again, I would."

"But…"

"No but's. I did what I needed to do because you were in danger and I didn't want anything to happen to you. End of story. Now I want you to put this out of your mind, Kent. That's an order."

"Yes, sir. I'll never be able to thank you enough for what you did."

"Seeing you safe and sound is enough thanks for me. By the way, how are you feeling?"

"A little sore, but otherwise, much better."

"Good. I'm sorry I left without saying a word last night, but you were already sleeping soundly and I didn't want to wake you, so I saw myself out. I had just enough time time stop off at my apartment to change. You know how everyone would gossip if I came into the office wearing the same clothes as the day before."

"I see," Kent replied in relief. "And yes, I'm sure everyone would have a field day if that happened, especially if I had done the same thing."

Chandler chuckled. "That's very true. I um, I wanted to tell you that I enjoyed the meal last night. I didn't know you were such an accomplished chef."

"I'm not a chef. That was just something I threw together in the slow cooker. I'm just glad you survived and lived to tell the tale."

Chandler laughed briefly. "Don't be so modest. It was delicious."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"You have other hidden talents besides cooking. Why didn't you tell me you could play the guitar?"

"How did you…?"

"I saw the picture of you in the hallway. You looked very proficient."

"That was a long time ago before I became a detective constable. I had aspirations of becoming a singer when I was younger," Kent replied suddenly feeling shy.

"Do you still play?"

"Once in a while I'll feel nostalgic about the good old days and take out my guitar just to keep in practice. I was never good enough to become a professional. That's why I never told you about it."

"I'm sure you're very good at it. I would love to hear you play some time."

Kent quickly turned around as he was thrown off by the fact that Chandler was suddenly expressing interest in his personal life. He knew that he was overreacting, but Kent couldn't help feeling suspicious. Why was Chandler suddenly being this way? Why was he being extra nice to him? After all, he never expressed in an interest in his personal life before. Why start now? More than likely, Chandler was just making polite conversation, but there was a part of Kent that suspected that there was more to it. Perhaps Chandler was trying to overcompensate for any guilty feelings he might still be harboring, because of how he had rejected him. The very idea made Kent feel defensive as the memories of that night at the pub in Sheffield immediately came flooding back, reminding him of how devastated he had felt. It also reminded him of the harsh reality that no matter what happened the night before and no matter how closer they had gotten, it ultimately didn't change Chandler's views on him as a romantic interest. All the good feelings from the previous night were suddenly pushed to the back of Kent's mind as he let resentment creep back in. Even though they had one brief moment together, it still didn't change Chandler's feelings. Kent didn't want or need any pity. He still had his pride. It was the only thing he had left.

"You don't have to do this."

"Do what?" Chandler replied in confusion.

"Humor me. You've done your good deed for the day. You're not required to put up with me out of a sense of obligation or duty."

Chandler was silent, momentarily stunned by Kent's reaction. And then he keenly understood why Kent was reacting that way.

"Have you ever known me to say or do anything that wasn't out of my own free will?"

Kent turned back to the DI and replied, "No, sir. I can't say that I have."

"I understand that you may feel apprehensive about my motives, but I don't want to dwell on what got us to this point. All I want us to do is move past this and focus on the future. We had a good relationship before, Kent. There's no reason to throw that away, especially after what happened last night. Can't we just start over?"

"I don't think that's possible. We're not the same people as we were before. So many things have happened over the past few months and it's changed the way I see things now, especially when it pertains to you, sir. Perhaps it would be better if we keep our relationship the way it is and not be too friendly with other."

"Is it because you resent me for rejecting you? Do you hate me that much, Kent that we can't even be friends anymore?" Chandler asked in a hurt tone of voice that almost made Kent change his mind.

"I don't resent or hate you. It's just..." Kent replied hesitantly. He wasn't used to talking so freely about his feelings for Chandler now that the older man was aware of them.

"You don't have to hold back anything. Just tell me how you really feel."

"The fact of the matter is that I can't bear to be near you all the time, knowing that you don't want to be with me. After being away for so long, it made me realize that it was useless to keep hoping for the impossible. And that I was just fooling myself. That's why I've been keeping my distance from you ever since I got back from Sheffield."

"What about last night? You didn't appear to be indifferent to me then."

"You just saved me from being raped. How could I possibly be indifferent to you at that moment?"

"So you're saying that other than last night, we should ignore each other and that you prefer that we not be friendly with other professionally or personally. Is that it?"

"In a word, yes."

"I didn't realize how much you were suffering on my account. Are you implying that you want to leave Whitechapel then?" Chandler replied quietly.

"No, that's not what I'm implying. All I'm saying is that we can't just sweep what's happened under the rug and go back to the way it was in the past. Too much has happened. And it's too much to ask."

"And doesn't last night count for anything?"

"Last night...was last night. It ultimately doesn't change your feelings towards me."

Chandler looked at him with a mysterious expression on his face. "You're not going to make it easy for me, are you?"

"I wasn't aware that I was supposed to," Kent retorted. What started out as an innocent conversation was quickly spiraling out of control. "Do you have any idea how difficult this has been for me?"

"As hard as it is to imagine that I am capable of empathy, I do have some idea. That's why I'm trying so hard to keep our relationship in tact. We've been through so much together, Kent. I thought after last night, we might have come to a truce. I thought we could move past it together. But I guess I was wrong."

"Please don't think that I'm not grateful for what you did. You put your reputation and personal safety on the line in order to rescue me and I'll forever be in your debt. But it won't change anything. I'm not under any misconceptions when it comes to your sexual preference. I know that you don't see me as a romantic interest."

"You promised that you wouldn't let this come between us."

"I said that I wouldn't let it come between our working relationship. You're asking me to press the reset button and act as if nothing ever happened. There's a huge difference. Look, I know that you never meant to hurt me, but try to understand it from my point of view. When I look at you, it just reminds me of the fact that you don't want to be with me. So I'm doing what I have to do in order to cope and if it means keeping my distance from you, then that's the way it has to be."

"Kind of like cutting out a tumor, right?" Chandler asked in a sarcastic tone. "In order to remove it, you have to cut out the healthy tissue around it as well."

"I guess that's one way of putting it."

"There's just one problem with that mindset. Sooner or later, it will result in an uncomfortable situation not only between us, but for all the other team members as well. In fact, it already has. I understand that you would rather ignore me, but it's impossible to work together in that kind of environment in the long term. Something has got to give. And like it or not, I just can't suddenly stop caring about you, Kent."

That was exactly the problem.

"What else am I supposed to do? You don't want to be in a relationship with me and yet you expect me to act like nothing has changed when you know how I feel about you."

"It appears that we have a problem then. I thought that we could find some sort of common ground and work out our issues. I guess I was hoping for too much."

"That's the problem with expectations, sir. You get disappointed when they don't go the way you want them to."

"Very well, Kent. I'll respect your wishes if that's what you really want," Chandler replied softly. "I just wish it hadn't come to this."

Kent felt his heart clench tightly when he heard the sadness in Chandler's voice. He sounded like he had just lost his best friend.

"No matter how much you want to keep things between us the same, we can't go back to the way it was. Ever."

As Kent quickly made his exit, he tried to keep his emotions from threatening to consume him. The only way their relationship could be saved was if Chandler had a change of heart, but that wasn't going to happen. He had made his decision a long time ago in Sheffield when he said that he could never be interested in Kent in the romantic sense. Perhaps he was going about this the wrong way, but Kent couldn't fall back into the same trap again of hoping and wishing for the impossible. He had already been burned once and wasn't about to let his feelings dictate his actions again. The price was just too high to pay.

* * *

"What's up with those two lately?" Mansell asked Riley as they were taking a coffee break late in the afternoon.

"Which two are referring to?"

"You know who. Kent and Chandler. They act like they hate each other or something. It's even worse than before. And just when things were settling down."

"I know what you mean. Kent barely talks to the boss anymore. Hell, he doesn't even go into his office unless he has to. He just goes through DS Miles whenever he has any leads or updates and avoids Chandler altogether."

"Don't tell me he's finally given up on the boss? Not Kent."

"From the way they've been acting, it appears so. Frankly, I thought our lovesick puppy would never give up on him."

"Something went down between them. I'd bet money on it. Hey Skip," Mansell called over to Miles who was at his desk working. "Has the boss mentioned anything to you?"

"What am I? His nursemaid? Even if he did tell me, I wouldn't tell you lot." Miles wasn't heartless that he would divulge any information, considering the personal nature of it. And yet, even he was worried at the growing tension between Kent and Chandler.

"The boss talks to you about practically everything. Don't tell me you're not concerned?"

"He's a big boy. He can take care of himself without any help from me."

"Since when?" Mansell scoffed derisively. "You're always giving him advice."

"Since now. Besides, whatever is going on, it's between those two. It's none of our business."

"What's the big deal? It's not like it's a secret that Kent's been hung up on the boss since he came here. Besides, you'd have to be completely blind not to notice."

"Maybe Kent got tired of your charming personality and needed some space," Miles replied sarcastically. "After all, you did punch him."

"Nah. We're cool now. He knows that I don't mean anything by it. It must be something else."

"I thought that things would have gone back to normal after Kent's assault, but it's only gotten worse between those two," Riley replied with concern. "I mean this has been going on for almost a month. Aren't you worried, Skip?"

"They'll work out whatever's going on between them, if there IS anything going on."

"It's just strange. I mean, if Chandler told Kent to jump, he'd probably ask how high. Now all of a sudden, it's like they're strangers. I bet they had a falling out and Kent's probably being stubborn about the whole thing. I mean, we ARE talking about Chandler here. It's not the first time he's gone off on any one of us," Mansell replied.

"I just had a crazy thought. What if the boss somehow found out that Kent likes him?"

"That can't be it, Meg. If Chandler hasn't figured it out after all this time, it's not likely that he suddenly saw the light."

"Hear me out, Finlay. It all makes sense now. I mean the only reason for Kent's recent behavior would be if Chandler knew how he felt and rejected him. I mean, that's what I would do if I was in Kent's shoes. That's got to be it."

"If that's true, Kent never really had a chance. He didn't do himself any favors by falling for someone like the boss."

"I wish there was something we could do. Kent deserves some happiness after everything he's been through."

"Will you two knock it off?" Miles chided them. "You sound like a couple of old busybodies. This is a police station you know. We're getting paid to work."

"We're only trying to..."

Mansell and Riley quickly pretended to be working when Kent entered the incident room with Buchan following closely behind him. There was no trace of emotion on his face as Kent casually passed by without a word. He knew that people had been gossiping about him for weeks, but it didn't bother him anymore. It wasn't like he could do anything to stop them.

"What are you doing up here, Buchan? Taking a break from the Bat Cave?" Miles quipped sarcastically.

"Very funny. Joe said that he had an announcement to make and asked me to come up here."

"What's he up to now?" Miles muttered under his breath. He noticed that Chandler had been uncharacteristically late for several mornings as well as after lunch. Usually, he would pick up something to go and eat at his desk. But lately, he was rarely at his desk during his lunch break.

"Attention everyone. Will you all please gather around?" Chandler called out as he came out of his office. "I have some very important news. Commander Anderson has informed me that there will soon be a vacancy available at headquarters."

"What's that got to do with us?"

"It has quite a bit of significance. He has offered me the position and I have chosen to accept. As of the end of this month, I'll be leaving Whitechapel and becoming a Chief Inspector at Scotland Yard."

There was stunned silence in the room as everyone was in shock. You could almost hear a pin drop.

"Don't all speak up at once," Chandler replied dryly.

"Sorry, sir. It's just a bit of shock. When did this all come about?" Riley asked.

"Chief Inspector Darby has been ailing health-wise for some time. He recently decided in the interest of his health to retire early. The Commander suggested my name to replace him. It's the chance of a lifetime."

Miles was the first to go over and shake his hand and gave the taller man a hearty slap on the shoulder making Chandler pitch forward slightly. "So you're finally leaving, eh? Congratulations. I know you'll do us proud."

Chandler returned the handshake warmly. "Thank you Miles."

"This is so exciting, Joe," Buchan chimed in. "What an opportunity for you. I suppose this means my services will no longer be needed here."

"Not necessarily. I convinced the Commander that your expertise and vast historical knowledge are still needed. Besides, I still might have to rely on your services once in a while as well."

"Thank you! I'd love to be of use to Scotland Yard. If you ever need my help, you know where to find me. I just hope that your replacement has as much faith in me as you do."

"Now we'll have to break in another DI. And just when we got used to you, sir. I hope he won't be as high maintenance as you were."

"It's so comforting to know how you feel about my departure, Miles," Chandler replied drily, knowing that he was only partially kidding. He was really going to miss working with him.

"If you're moving to Scotland Yard, who'll be taking over your position here, sir?" Mansell asked. "I hope they aren't all like DI Norroy. Now that, was one uptight bird."

"You don't have to worry about that, Mansell. My replacement is someone who is very accomplished and will have no trouble fitting in. I hope you all will treat Detective Inspector Miles with the same respective and support that you've given to me."

Miles' mouth hung wide open as he was at a loss for words. Another pregnant silence permeated the incident room.

"This better not be a joke. Because if it is, I'll kick your ass," Miles finally answered with a wide grin, knowing that Chandler would never joke about something so important as this. After working for so many years and toiling from the ground up, he was finally getting the promotion he rightly deserved.

"The position is yours, assuming you accept of course."

"Just try and stop me. But if I'm taking over for you, who's going to be taking over for me as Detective Sergeant?"

"I heard that they're leaning towards DS Jones from Manchester. I believe he's an acquaintance of yours, is he not?"

"Yeah. Jones-y and I worked together a long time ago before I came to Whitechapel. He's a hard-nosed detective with a keen sense of the criminal mind. It'll be good to have him here on the team."

"What's wrong, Miles?" Chandler asked suspiciously when he saw that his second in command seemed wary.

"This is all too convenient. Headquarters usually appoints someone from within their own ranks for a position like this. I can understand them promoting you. But why would they promote me? I thought they still had it in for us with the Ripper case."

"You've been on the force long enough, you are qualified for the job, and you've earned the right."

"I highly doubt that it was a unanimous decision," Miles replied, sensing there was another underlying reason. "I'm sure I pissed off a couple of people more than once in the past."

"There were some parties who raised certain objections to your appointment, but they have since come around and gotten on board with the decision."

"How did you manage that?" Miles asked suspiciously.

"Never underestimate the power of persuasion. It really would be a shame if some of their, shall we say 'indiscretions' were to be revealed to the press."

"Sir! I am shocked at your lack of professionalism," Miles replied, feigning indignance and smiling at the same time .

"As the saying goes, keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer."

"I'm glad you're on my side," Miles replied, admiring how Chandler stood up for him.

"Let's hear it for Detective Inspector Miles!" Mansell called out.

Everyone gave cheers of support before coming up to Chandler and Miles, expressing their congratulatory wishes. Only Kent remained at his desk, showing no emotion as a maelstrom of emotions coursed through his entire body. He felt like his brain had just short-circuited. Even though their relationship had been strained for a while, Kent didn't think that Chandler would do something as drastic as leaving to get away from him. It was inevitable that Chandler would leave some day. After all most fast trackers tend to follow greener pastures, but it was still a shock nonetheless. Kent thought that there would be more time. Deep down, he had hoped that Chandler would never leave. But it would be foolish to turn down a promotion like this. Chandler would be in a more prominent position in Scotland Yard with an even greater amount of responsibilities, where he could utilize his talents and skills. It was more than likely that he wanted to escape the drama between them as well. Kent's greatest fear had finally come to pass. Chandler was leaving Whitechapel.

"Tea. I need some tea," Kent thought silently to himself as he got up and walked in a daze to fetch a cup. Chandler's eyes followed him surreptitiously through the group as the younger man headed towards the opposite end of the office. He knew that it was unfair to break the news to him like this, but it had to be done. He didn't usually resort to shock tactics, but he had come to the conclusion that nothing short of him leaving would make Kent give up on him. Perhaps now, Kent would finally let go of him for his own sake and move on with his life.

Kent was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn't pay attention to what he was doing. Before Kent knew it, he inadvertently poured hot water directly over his opposite hand that was holding his mug. He immediately dropped the mug to the floor causing it to shatter as he grabbed his hand and grimacing in pain. He immediately ran to the loo to run cold water over the affected area. Thankfully, it wasn't too serious due to his quick reflexes in getting immediate treatment. Kent was grateful for the diversion the accident provided, as it gave him a chance to collect himself and regain his composure.

When the door behind open a few moments later, Kent didn't have to look to know who entered.

"I brought the first aid kit. Are you all right?" Chandler asked in concern as he walked up to him.

"I'm fine. I already put my hand under cold water for several minutes and there's no sign of blistering. You can go back to the office now."

"You don't look fine. Let me take a look at your hand."

"I'd rather you didn't. I'm more than capable of taking care of myself."

"It wasn't a request," Chandler replied sternly. "Give me your hand."

He gently lifted Kent's injured hand and inspected it carefully. The younger detective could hardly breathe steadily when Chandler was touching him like this. "You're very fortunate. This could have been much worse. This burn ointment should help with the discomfort."

Before Kent could protest further, Chandler proceeded to apply the cool soothing aloe gel rubbing it ever so gently across Kent's skin, making the younger man's heart beat faster. Everywhere Chandler's fingers touched, Kent felt an undeniable familiar response. His body yearned for Chandler's touch. It was almost Pavlovian in nature. He thought he could remain neutral and unaffected. For weeks, he had convinced himself into believing that he could live with the fact that Chandler didn't reciprocate his feelings. He thought that he had gotten over him. He couldn't have been more wrong. The way his body reacted to Chandler's touch proved that. Kent was finally able to breath again when Chandler let go of his hand.

"The skin is still a little red, but it doesn't look serious. You'll want to reapply the ointment again as needed. "

"Thank you," Kent replied awkwardly. For several tense moments, neither of them said a word.

"About my announcement just now regarding Scotland Yard. I wanted to explain..."

"There's nothing to explain," Kent interrupted him abruptly. "You accepted this position to get away from me. That's more than obvious."

"That's not why I accepted. There were other factors that influenced my decision."

"I don't believe you."

"You always used to," Chandler replied softly.

"I used to believe in a lot of things. In all the years that we've worked together, I've always known that you're not comfortable with dealing with personal issues. You never have been. I'm the reason you're leaving. Don't deny it."

"All right. I admit that you had a partial role in my decision. But that wasn't the sole reason."

"I knew it. It's because you're uncomfortable with me, isn't it?"

"We already went through that. I'm as comfortable with you now as I ever was before. I just think it's better if I left. You may not see it from your perspective now, but I'm only thinking of your well-being."

"How is leaving Whitechapel for my benefit?" Kent asked incredulously.

"I know how much my presence has been affecting you in light of our...situation. It's obvious that it's been taking a toll on you and making you act differently than you normally would. I just wanted to alleviate that burden by removing myself from the situation."

"That wasn't necessary. I'm still the same person I've always been."

"That's not true. You even admitted that we aren't the same people as we were before. In fact, it's like I don't even recognize you anymore. The Kent that I knew was warm, sincere and full of enthusiasm and boundless energy. He was always going beyond the call of duty because he cared and wanted to make a difference. He was a shining light in a world that was often dark and unforgiving. That's the Kent I remember and the one that I don't want to disappear."

"We can't always get what we want. But if you think that leaving is the answer, then you're sadly mistaken. You can't solve problems by ignoring them. You taught me that."

"Isn't that what we've been doing for the past month? Ignoring the problem?" Chandler replied softly. "You can't freeze me out for weeks and then get mad when I do something to try make things better. I realize that we can't go back to the way it was Kent, but it doesn't do any good to pretend that this situation hasn't been affecting us either. As supervisor, it's my job to foster an environment that will encourage my subordinates to perform at an optimum level and bring out the best of their abilities. I don't want you to have to put up with me in order cope. If my presence bothers you so much that it hinders your professional development and prevents you from being who you truly are, then I would rather remove myself than to have you suffer any longer."

"I'm not a child. I told you before that I could handle the situation and not let my personal feelings interfere with work."

"Did it ever occur to you that I'm the one who can't handle the situation?" Chandler replied softly.

Kent had no immediate response. He never considered the possibility that Chandler was just as affected by the way their relationship had deteriorated. "What are you trying to say?"

"There's something about me that you have to understand, Kent. I'm a very complicated person. You see, I suffer from having an obsessive compulsive disorder. That means that there are times when I get inexplicably frustrated when things aren't a certain way or I may emphasize a certain detail or exhibit a pattern of behavior that doesn't make sense. Control is something that I have always needed. But when my OCD is not held in check, it may render me in a completely helpless state. I have no control over when and where one of these episodes may occur. What's recently happened between us is only making it worse for me. I can't function like this."

"I know about your condition, sir," Kent replied solemnly.

"How did you know? I never told you about it."

Kent hesitated slightly before letting out a sigh of resignation.

"I was there at the The Devonshire Cat pub on the night you and Commander Anderson stopped over in Sheffield. I was sitting in the booth next to you and heard everything you said. I've known for months about how you truly feel about me. That's why I was so upset the night you came to my flat."

A look of dismay crossed over Chandler's face as he realized the full import of what Kent was telling him. Kent had heard every last damning word that he spoken to the Commander. It must have sounded as though Chandler was horrified at the idea that he would ever be with Kent in a romantic relationship. Oh dear Lord, it all made sense now. Kent's inexplicable behavior, his change in demeanor, and the way he wanted to keep his distance. He had known the truth for months. Kent knew.

"Why didn't you tell me about this the night I confronted you?" Chandler replied quietly.

"I didn't think it mattered. It's not like anything I said would've change your mind."

"How can you say that it wouldn't matter? It matters a whole damn lot. Kent, I'm not some heartless monster that you seem to think I am. Haven't you learned that by now?"

"I never thought that you were a monster," Kent replied softly.

"You could have fooled me. I've tried so hard to make things right between us, but you refuse to even meet me half-way. It seems like I can never make things right with you no matter what I say or do. I realize that I am mostly to blame for the way things are now, but you withheld information which could have changed the outcome. It's as though you're hell bent on punishing me for rejecting you."

Kent was taken aback by Chandler's accusation. Had he been so blinded by his own pain at being rejected that he had been subconsciously punishing Chandler? The hurt look in the older man's deep blue eyes gave Kent the answer he didn't want to acknowledge, but realized was indeed the true. He had hurt Chandler emotionally and didn't even realize he that he was doing it. If Kent was honest with himself, he had to admit that the only crime Chandler had been guilty of was being imperfect. And being human.

"It was never my intention to hurt you as retribution or to make you leave, sir."

"I know that, Kent. I don't blame you for feeling the way that you do. But I don't want to cause you any more pain and heartache by remaining here either. This place is home to you. I could never take that away, nor would I want to. So I'm removing myself instead."

"You don't have to leave Whitechapel. This was your home too," Kent replied softly.

"And how long do you think you'll be able to keep up with this pretense before these feelings consume you all together? I know how this situation is eating you up inside, Kent. That's why I made the difficult decision to take the job at Scotland Yard. I wanted to give you a fresh start and a new beginning. You can do that more effectively if I'm not here to remind you of the past and all the bad memories. Believe me, Kent. You'll be better off."

"Don't you mean YOU'LL be better off?"

Chandler was silent as he lowered his head slightly. He couldn't stand to see the look of pain in Kent's eyes. "I've given this a lot of thought and determined that this is the best solution. I'm just trying to do the right thing."

"That's not why you're doing this. You're leaving because you hate the fact that I have feelings for you. It's an inconvenience because it disrupts your orderly life so you're running away. If that's what you want, then fine. I hope you enjoy your new job."

Kent left abruptly and left behind a dejected Chandler by himself.

"You don't understand," Chandler replied softly into the empty room.

He looked at his hands in bewilderment. They still tingled after practically caressing Kent's hand while applying the burn ointment. He almost didn't want to even wash his hands for fear that the feeling would go away. Chandler felt that same indescribable warmth like the time he held Kent in his arms on the night he had been assaulted by Ian Tremaine. Ever since then, Chandler had been trying desperately to put that feeling out of his mind, but without much success. He even found himself wanting to embrace Kent again and had to employ every ounce of self-control to prevent him from following through with his desires. The situation was already complicated enough. It wasn't as though these feelings appeared out of nowhere. There had been an undeniable, unspoken attraction between them that had been bubbling underneath the surface for a long time. The truth was that it had always been there. The only difference was that Kent had been more in tune with his feelings than Chandler had been. And when Kent had suddenly decided that he wanted to keep his distance, it had thrown him off balance. Chandler was torn between listening to logic and reason, and listening to his heart. But it wasn't going to be easy to change his ways at this point in his life.

This was crazy. How could he be attracted to Kent when every brain cell in his head told him that it was illogical? Chandler was too old to change his ways, not even for someone who could possibly give him what he had always longed for. And yet logic made no sense when it came to Kent. Chandler had always convinced himself that he didn't need something as transitory as love. It was too fleeting and too painful. And yet, Kent somehow broke through Chandler's defenses without even trying. Even if he wanted to pursue a relationship with him, there were just too many differences and obstacles between them. Chandler was too traumatized by his past experiences and he was too entrenched in his ways. How could he ask Kent to put up with him and all his flaws? So he did the only thing that made sense and that was to remove himself from the situation.

Kent was right about one thing though. Chandler WAS running away and was using their situation as an excuse. Because if he didn't leave now, he was afraid that his feelings for Kent would develop into something that might consume his entire being. Something that scared the living daylights out of him. He had seen the effects of loving someone only to have them cruelly taken away in the blink of an eye. He couldn't go through that again with someone he respected and cared about. Yes, he was running away, just like he had always done when he felt emotionally threatened. Whether or not it was the right decision still remained to be seen.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Upload date: 27July2016 PST

_A/N: Just when you think that these two were headed in the right direction, they just can't get out their own way. I think Kent was being over sensitive and a little paranoid (perfect match for Chandler, right?), but I wanted to use his motivation to show Chandler as a sympathetic figure as well. I do think that it's easier for Kent to blame Chandler for everything because he's lost any hope of being with him. And Chandler can't seem to let go of his fears as well. Oh, the angst! :)_


	9. The Tell-Tale Heart

**Chapter 9: The Tell-Tale Heart**

* * *

"Kent, I know this is hard for you, but would you at least pretend to be happy? You wouldn't want your last day with the boss to end on a sour note would you?" Miles chided the younger detective as the rest of the team were finishing the setup for Chandler's going away party.

"It doesn't matter either way, Skip. He's still leaving whether or not I put on a happy face," Kent replied sadly.

"This doesn't have to be the end, you know. It's not like he's moving across the globe."

"He might as well be. Face it. He's never going to see me again, even if it's in a social setting. Our situation makes him uncomfortable and he doesn't know how to deal with it. He's leaving so that he can get away from me."

"You're just thinking the worst."

"I don't think. I know. I really messed things up this time."

"Hey, stop blaming yourself for something out of your control. Otherwise you'll end up like Chandler and you have way too much life left for that. Shit happens. Unfortunately, that's life."

"But I do blame myself. I knew that it wasn't going to be easy with his hangups. I knew that he wasn't going to be interested in me, but I still fell for him anyway. I brought this all on myself."

"Do you regret him coming to Whitechapel then?" Miles asked point-blank.

"No. I have no regrets," Kent admitted softly. "It's just...I don't know what I'm going to do without him."

"Did you ever tell him that?"

"No," Kent admitted in a small voice. "Do you think that would have made a difference?"

"It doesn't matter what I think. Chandler's opinion is the only one that matters. Kent, we've known each other a long time, haven't we?"

 

"Almost 8 years, Skip."

"Then you know that I'm not a sentimentalist, but this is one of those rare occasions where I'm going to make an exception. When you first came here, you were a raw, fresh-faced, wet-behind-the-ears, academy graduate with no experience and little confidence. Sure you made mistakes, but you always learned from them and used them to make you stronger. Now you're a confident detective constable with great potential and a bright future ahead of you. I've always known that you had what it took to become a damn good detective. You just had to realize it."

"Not that I don't appreciate the glowing praise, but why are you telling me this now?"

"Well, with Chandler moving on to Scotland Yard, it's a new chapter in everyone's lives, isn't it? There's bound to be a few bumps along the way with the transition and I'm going to need everyone's support during this time. I'll be depending on you, especially. Can you give me your full support, Kent? Can you do it in spite of everything even, without Chandler here?"

Kent was touched beyond words that Miles would place so much confidence in him. Skip was not one to be the touchy-feely type. The fact that the veteran detective had always looked after Kent showed how much he really cared for his staff. It was enough to make Kent snap out of his personal malaise for the moment and give him something to focus on. He had to stop moping around like a lovesick teenager like DS Miles said. Life would still go on whether or not Chandler was there.

"You can always count on me, Skip. I'll do whatever you need me to do."

"Good. Now come on. Let's give Chandler a proper send off, hm?"

"All right. I'll do my best."

"I knew you would."

* * *

"Well boss, this is it. It's been a hell of a ride, but we survived it without killing each other," Miles pronounced, causing laughter to ripple across the room where the staff gathered for Chandler's farewell party. Chandler smiled in recognition of their tumultuous beginning when he first came to Whitechapel. Although Chandler appeared cordial throughout the evening's festivities, it was a different story internally. He was preoccupied with Kent and how he was handling things. As Chandler looked out into the audience, he noticed that Kent stayed as far away from him as possible; not because he was being anti-social, but because he was hurting more than he wanted to let on. Chandler guessed as much.

"Before you go off and become a big shot in Scotland Yard, here's a little gift to remember us by."

"You shouldn't have gotten me a gift. But thank you all the same."

After rifling through the tissue paper, the normally calm and composed DI broke out in surprised laughter after taking out what appeared to be a lifetime supply of chalk. Underneath it was a laminated plaque that simply read, " _We'll always remember you, sir_. _Cheers_."

"I still remember that first time just as if it were yesterday. Time sure does seem to fly by."

"I have to hand it to you, sir. You stuck with it and stayed much longer than anyone thought you would. Anyone who can do that is all right in my book."

"A compliment coming from you of all people, Miles? I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing."

"Yeah, well don't let it get to your head. After all, you're defecting to the enemy," Miles replied sternly.

"I'm really going to miss you. I'm going to miss all of you. I couldn't ask for a better team," Chandler replied as he was moved by everyone's thoughtfulness.

"Stop by once in a while, hmm? That is, if you're not too busy rubbing elbows with all those hot shots," Riley replied as she shook Chandler's hand warmly.

"You know I will. Thank you, Riley. Mansell, you stay out of trouble."

"You might as well ask for a miracle, sir. But I'll try to keep my nose clean."

Chandler nodded in recognition. "Ed, I'll talk to you as soon as I get settled in. Please keep the bloodshed with Miles to a minimum."

Buchan laughed in spite of himself. Even Miles had to chuckle as well. "It won't be the same without you, Joe. But I know you'll go on to bigger and better things. Take care."

"Thank you." Chandler was about to address Kent, but he was nowhere to be found. It was as though he had vanished into thin air. "Where's Kent?"

"I think he went out to get some more snacks. Don't worry. He'll be back in time. He wouldn't let you leave without saying goodbye."

Chandler nodded in recognition, but he knew that Kent most likely left on purpose. He couldn't really blame him. Perhaps if Chandler had more faith in himself, he would have stayed and explored the possibility of a relationship with Kent in spite of his fears. But he wasn't about to let Kent keep hanging on, when there was no assurance of a future together. It wouldn't be fair to either of them. He just hoped that one day, Kent would put him completely out of his heart and mind, and find someone worthy of his devotion. Chandler just wished he could have been that person.

* * *

As evening fell later that day, a sullen, lone figure went around everyone's desks, binning the trash. It was a last homage to Chandler's never ending penchant for cleanliness and order. It was the least Kent could do since he couldn't say goodbye in person. He was afraid that he would break down into an emotional mess if he had stayed during Chandler's farewell speech, so he chickened out at the last minute and left on some lame excuse, not caring that everyone probably knew the real reason for his abrupt departure. Kent had been ready for this day for several weeks, but nothing could have prepared him for the reality of it. He didn't want the love of his life to leave, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. It also didn't help that he had practically pushed Chandler out the door, himself with his passive aggressive behavior and demands. Love certainly did crazy things to a person. After wiping his hands clean, Kent walked slowly towards Chandler's office staring at the vacant chair that the former DI use to occupy. He came over and ran his hand along the armrest thinking about all the good times as well as the bad times. It wasn't going to be the same without Chandler here.

"Were you going to let me leave without even saying goodbye?" a familiar voice came from behind.

Kent whipped around and was shocked to find Chandler standing at the doorway.

"That was the plan," Kent admitted reluctantly. "I thought you would be gone by the time I returned."

"I came back after the party, hoping you would come back. Would it make you feel better if I told you that I'm going to miss you most of all?" Chandler asked softly as he crossed the gap between them.

Kent swallowed nervously as he looked into Chandler's eyes. "Actually, that would just make it harder for me."

"Then I won't say it. Kent, I didn't want to leave on a bad note. I want to remember all the good times we had together, even though there weren't nearly enough of them to go around. I hope that in time, you'll remember me not just as your supervisor, but also as a friend. Although I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to forget about me altogether."

"I do have good memories of you, sir. No matter what's happened between us, that won't change."

Chandler looked genuinely relieved. "I'm glad that you can find something positive to remember."

"I would be lying to myself if I refuted that. You taught me that the truth is all the really matters."

"Then at least I did something right. Kent, I want you to know that all your years of support was appreciated more than you'll ever know. You trusted me and gave me a chance. For that, I'll always be grateful to you."

"Don't make it sound like I did something extraordinary. I would have done the same for anyone else," Kent replied evenly.

"Perhaps. But you went above and beyond the call of duty. You supported me even though it meant being singled out by the others. If you hadn't done that, I don't think I would have made it through those first few months."

"Now you're exaggerating," Kent replied uncomfortably. "I supported you because you were my boss and it was the right thing to do. End of story."

Chandler smiled gently. Kent was beginning to sound like him.

"It's kind of ironic. You were the first to welcome me here and now you're the last one to see me off. I'm glad that Miles has you here, Kent. I can rest assured knowing that you'll give him the same support as you gave me. He may not admit it, but he'll need all the help he can get now that he's running the show. Lord knows I did."

"All things considering, you didn't do such a bad job."

"Thank you, Kent." Chandler looked visibly moved at the finality of their last moments together. "I've never been good at saying goodbyes."

"Me neither," Kent admitted softly. "Perhaps we shouldn't say it, then."

"Agreed."

From this moment on, Chandler would no longer be working with his most faithful and ardent supporter. He was not only losing a valued co-worker and teammate. He was losing a friend, and perhaps something more. Chandler's heart constricted painfully at the thought as it was time to leave.

"I want you to know that it's been an honor working with you, Kent. I know you'll be a success in whatever you do."

"Thank you, sir," Kent answered, using every ounce of self-control he had to keep his voice from trembling.

Chandler extended his hand towards Kent. The younger man stared and paused hesitantly, before reaching out to clasp it in return.

"Take care of yourself."

"You too," Kent replied softly.

All of a sudden, Chandler gathered Kent into his arms and hugged him tightly, almost squeezing the breath out of him. Kent was so surprised that he didn't know how to react. Added to the fact that this was the first time Chandler had ever embraced him out of his own volition. When he came out of his befuddled stupor, Kent raised his arms and wrapped them around Chandler's broad back before burying his face against the curve of the older man's shoulder, breathing in his scent and silently etching this moment into his memory. It was strange. It felt so familiar. So right. Only in his dreams did he ever imagine being held like this by Chandler. But like all dreams, it was fleeting and would come to an end all too quickly.

Chandler pulled away and made his exit, leaving Kent alone as he watched him disappear out of the room and out of his life. Kent wanted to say what was in his heart. He wanted to tell Chandler that he loved him, but the words never came out.

"Goodbye Joe," Kent replied softly into the empty room as hot tears stung his eyes.

He now had to pick up the pieces of his broken heart and start the next chapter of his life without Chandler.

* * *

"You look like something the cat dragged in and spit up," Erica noted as her twin sibling entered her flat and collapsed onto the sofa. It had been two months since Chandler left for Scotland Yard and the transition had been far from being without its hiccups. Fortunately, the new Detective Sergeant worked well with Miles, who was finding it exasperating having to deal with the human resource aspect of being in charge now that he had taken over as Detective Inspector. No one ever said being in charge was easy.

"You really know how to make a person feel better," Kent replied sarcastically. "Remind me to never ask you to cheer me up."

Erica had invited her Kent over for dinner to catch up, but more so to see how he was doing in the aftermath of Chandler's departure. After getting an update from Finlay, she was worried that her brother was unable to move on from the now promoted Chief Inspector. It was clearly evident that the longer Kent dwelt on it, the less chance he had of actually moving on with his life. Erica sat down next to him understanding his misery.

"I'm your sister. It's my job to tell you the truth. Level with me, Em. You still haven't gotten over Chandler, have you?"

It was more of an accusation rather than a question.

Kent gave a look of exasperation. "Not you too. I get enough of that from everyone at work. I'm fine, all right?"

"If that was true, why haven't you been with anyone since the night you were assaulted?"

"Maybe because I don't want end up in another situation like how it was with Ian ever again. Can you blame me for wanting to be cautious?"

"No, of course not. But maybe you don't WANT to be with anyone. Maybe it's really because Chandler rescued you in your moment of need and you fell for him all over again."

"That's ridiculous. I would have to be absolutely crazy to fall for him again after everything I've been through," Kent bristled indignantly.

Erica raised one eyebrow up questioning him, but knowing the answer even without saying anything.

"Don't even say it," Kent warned.

"I didn't say a word. But you must admit that if you weren't still hung up on the guy, you wouldn't be moping around like this. After all, it's been two months."

Kent lowered his gaze to the floor. "We're not kids anymore. I don't need you to look out for me."

"Too bad, because you're stuck with me for life. You should be thanking your lucky stars that I haven't butted in up to this point. Otherwise, I would have told Mom. But when I see my only brother hurting, I have to step in. Just because I'm dating Finlay now, doesn't mean I've forgotten about you."

"I'm sorry Erica. It's just...I'm so tired of everything. I feel like I've been on an emotional roller coaster ride for past few months. My life has been on hold for years because I made Chandler the center of my universe. Now that he's no longer there, I don't know how to move forward."

"That just means that you were really in love with him. That isn't a crime is it?"

"If it is, then I guess that makes me a repeat offender. I should have listened to my gut instinct the moment I was beginning to fall for him. I should have kept away as far as possible. You and Mom warned me, but I was stubborn and thought that Chandler would change. I was presumptuous to think that he would do that for me. I should have a stamp on my forehead that says 'Idiot'."

"Stop being so hard on yourself. We all do crazy things when we're in love."

"Yeah, but I should have learned my lesson by now. Why is that I seem to always gravitate towards guys that hurt me?"

"You're just so trusting that you can't help, but dive head first into everything. When you love someone Em, you always give it everything you've got. To tell you the truth, I've always envied that about you."

"You envy being naïve and stupid?"

"I envied having that kind of faith. Before I met Finlay, I went for the casual fling because I was afraid of commitment. Whenever things didn't work out, I could always say that it wasn't meant to be. Because of that, I hurt some really sweet, caring guys who didn't deserve to have their feelings taken lightly. But you were never like that. In spite of being hurt in the past, you somehow found the strength to love again even though it meant taking a chance. That takes a whole lot of faith, and you have it spades. I know it seems like things are bleak right now, but that will change. Time heals all wounds. Even for a broken heart," she replied softly.

"My heart's been broken so many times that I'm beginning to think I was never meant to be happy."

Erica put her arm around her brother in sympathy and rested her head against his shoulder. "There's someone for you out there, Em. I know it."

"I wish I could believe that."

* * *

"Excuse me sir, but are you planning to stay late again?" a tall young woman asked as she poked her head around the door to Chandler's new office at Scotland Yard. "Everyone else has already left for the night."

He looked up at one of his staff members and gave a halfhearted smile. "I didn't realize that it was so late, Alice. I've been so busy that I didn't notice."

"That's been happening a lot lately. Are you feeling all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

His assistant entered halfway into the office. "If you'll forgive me for saying so, you seem like you've been preoccupied ever since you got here. I hope we haven't done anything to displease you."

"No, of course not. I didn't mean to give off that impression. I'm still trying to find my way around. It's quite different here from Whitechapel as you can probably guess."

"Well, I'm not surprised. That district has been known to be the epicenter of some very sinister and unusual crimes over the past few years as well as in the past. We heard all about your escapades before you came here, especially the Ripper Copycat murders. It must have been quite an experience."

"Do you think I made a mistake by letting the murderer go?" Chandler asked solemnly.

"No, sir. If you hadn't, then Detective Inspector Miles could have died. I wouldn't have wanted that on my conscience and neither did you for that matter."

"It's ironic. Even when you think you're doing the right thing, sometimes it comes back to haunt you," Chandler replied cryptically. "It's true when they say that no good deed ever goes unpunished."

"Are you speaking professionally or personally?" the young woman asked astutely.

"Perhaps a little a both. Thank you for checking up on me, Alice. Don't worry, I'll be leaving shortly."

"All right. Goodnight sir."

"Goodnight."

Chandler leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. It was quieter in Scotland Yard in contrast to Whitechapel; much quieter. His modern office with its posh, sleek furniture and state of the art equipment provided all the resources he needed at his fingertips. Everything was run like a well-oiled machine, without much drama; just the way he liked things. Chandler had everything he could want for his professional career. Opportunity, prominence, and prestige. And yet, something was missing from his life. Correction, SOMEONE was missing. Chandler closed his eyes, conjuring up an image of the person in question and Kent's impish smile immediately came into focus. He never imagined that he would miss anyone as much as he missed Kent. Not a day passed by that he didn't think about him or how he was doing. He thought that being physically separated from his former DC would somehow suppress his burgeoning feelings for him. He thought that his absence wouldn't affect him and that he could move on without Kent in his life. He was wrong on all three counts.

There was no use in denying it any longer. Chandler was attracted to Kent. Whenever he touched him, Chandler' senses would tingle in anticipation. He could remember in vivid detail how soft Kent's hand felt and how it seemed to dwarf in comparison to his own hands. But the moment of truth for Chandler came when he held Kent closely to him as the younger man slept in his arms. He actually felt at peace and never wanted to let him go. He realized now that Kent was more than just a subordinate. And he was more than just a friend. He was Chandler's soul mate. He never thought he could feel such strong emotions for another person. But Kent wasn't like any other person. Kent had been there for Chandler and supported him in every way. He provided emotional support and stability, which Chandler should have appreciated more than he did.

What he felt for Kent went beyond anything he had ever felt for anyone and that included Morgan Lamb. If Chandler was honest with himself, he had to admit that part of his initial attraction to her was due to the fact that she had been a psychiatrist and understood his motivations for his obsessive compulsive habits. For the first time, he was able to deal with the psychological part of himself that he couldn't control at times. But with Kent, it was Chandler's heart that was affected. He not only touched the part of Chandler that was emotionally flawed, he also touched the part of him that yearned for companionship and the desire to be loved.

Chandler missed Kent so much that he would often find himself expecting to see the younger man walk through the door with a status report flashing an enthusiastic smile or to update him on various leads like in the past. But then reality would set in, harshly reminding him that Kent was no longer there. What wouldn't he give to see him one more time or even just to hear his voice. Of course there was nothing physically preventing him from getting in touch with Kent. All he had to do was push one button on his mobile phone. But in doing so, it might cause more harm than good. After all Chandler was the one who left Kent and told him that he couldn't give him what he wanted. He was the one who ran away because of his fear and insecurities.

The Chief Inspector leaned forward in his chair and propped his elbows on top of his desk, lacing his fingers together while resting them against his forehead, deep in contemplation. He wondered how Kent was doing. Perhaps he had moved on to someone else by now. At this very moment his former DC could be in the arms of another man. Someone else would be holding him and caressing him and... Just the thought made Chandler want to knock over a chair and several other pieces of furniture in the room in jealousy. He should have been happy that Kent was moving on with his life with someone else. Chandler couldn't even convince himself of that one. The truth of the matter was that he missed Kent and wanted to be with him again. He wanted to be with him in every way. To think that at his age, he was acting like a lovesick teenager. This was probably what a mid-life crisis was like.

"Miles, what would you tell me to do if you were here?" he asked out loud.

"I'd tell you to stop whining and go see Kent as soon as possible."

Chandler jolted backwards in surprise and held a hand to his chest over his thumping heart. He had been so deep in thought that he didn't notice that someone was in the room with him. Miles was leaning against the door jam with his hands in his coat pockets, grinning like the cat the caught the canary.

"Miles! How long have you been standing there?"

The seasoned detective walked over to Chandler's desk and sat in the opposite chair like he used to back in Whitechapel. "Long enough. So this is what Chief Inspectors do all day in Scotland Yard. Pretty nice setup. I see you're still the last one here. Some things never change."

"I was just about to leave. What are you doing here?"

"Can't an old friend come by and visit? I figured it was about time since you haven't stopped by the old place yet. So, are you gonna do it or not?"

"Do what?" Chandler replied carefully.

"Go see Kent."

"What makes you think that I want to?"

"Maybe because you miss him?" Miles replied astutely.

"I don't think that would be a good idea. I bet he doesn't even want to see me again after the way I left."

"Well now, that's a bet you would lose. I heard through the grapevine that Kent hasn't been seen with anyone since you left. I've also heard from a reliable source that he still has feelings for you."

"Really?" Chandler replied eagerly. He sounded like a kid again.

"Really. If you leave now, you should be able to catch him back at his place."

Chandler immediately collected himself. "And why would I want to do that?"

"Ugh! Sometimes you make me want to box your ears. Look here, I'll make it simple for you. Kent likes you and you like him. So stop playing mind games and work it out with him, will you?"

"You mean you knew that I...?" Chandler replied in shock.

"Of course. Why do you think I was teasing you about him all the time? Most people would have taken the hint a long time ago. I thought you'd never figure it out on your own. I mean it only took you SIX years. Better late than never I suppose. Now that you've owned up to it, there's no reason why you two can't get together."

"I can think of a lot of reasons why."

"Are they actual reasons or just excuses? After a while, you can't tell the difference anymore. That's your problem. You've convinced yourself that you're incapable of being in a relationship when that's not true."

"It's not as simple as that. Do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to get past Morgan's death? Or to even entertain the notion that I would even want to be involved with Kent in a romantic relationship?"

"Of course I do. But you're making things more difficult than they need to be. You're so obsessed with the past that it's preventing you from having any kind of future."

"Yes, well, obsession has never been something I've lacked. I've always been an independent person for as long as I can remember. I was always in control of my emotions because I had to be. But for the first time in my life Miles, I don't have that option. Even though I might want to be with Kent, he may not want to be with me anymore. Not after the way I left."

"So that's what's worrying you."

"That and the reality that follows if he in fact wants to be with me in spite of everything," Chandler replied softly. "I pushed Kent away for so many years and I always took him for granted. I treated him like a second-class citizen most of the time. And yet, he still wanted to be with me. I never realized how much I missed him until he went to Sheffield. And now that we're no longer working together, it feels like there's a part of me that's missing."

"Then why aren't you telling this to him?"

"Because...I can't ask him to go through another emotional roller coaster with me again, Miles. It would be asking too much."

Miles gave him a sympathetic look that belied his usual gruff exterior.

"You've never been a quitter, Joseph Chandler. I've seen you during one of the lowest moments of your life when I found you sitting alone in a shower stall soaking wet, after taking on Cazenove. You didn't quit then even though you were that close in doing so. Why would you start now?"

"That was a different scenario altogether. You can't compare that situation and...and THIS."

"You're just fretting because for the first time, you're not in control. I've been watching the two of you ever since Kent came back from Sheffield and I've noticed that you don't talk to each other."

"What do you mean by that? We talked to each other all the time."

"You two may have talked, but you've never really communicated. Maybe you should start trying, before it's too late."

"Miles, I appreciate your concern and advice, but it's no use. You can't guarantee that Kent will accept me. And you can't guarantee the future."

"Neither can you. Look, all you can do is tell Kent how you feel and let the chips fall where they may. There are no guarantees in life, but you can do everything in your power to help them fall in your favor. Never underestimate the power of the truth. You'll never know what will happen if you sit there and do nothing."

"But I've made so many mistakes. All I've ever done is cause Kent pain and heartache. Even if by some miracle he decides that he still wants to be with me, he has no idea what he's in for. You know how complicated I am, Miles."

"Kent put up with you for almost six years. I think it's safe to say that he knows you and he's seen everything you have to offer."

"Not quite everything," Chandler responded quietly. "Kent sees what he wants to see and not the part of me that is imperfect. He's never seen me when I can't control my OCD."

"Big news flash. He already knows you're not perfect. And yet he still wanted to be you in spite of your faults even though you gave him a reason to hate you in the past. If he was willing to forgive you for that, he can forgive you for anything."

"That's why he deserves someone better."

"Let me ask you something. Do think Kent is intelligent?"

"Of course I do."

"Do you think he's a fairly reasonable person?"

"Yes," Chandler reiterated.

"Do you think he's capable of making sound judgments without letting anyone influence his decisions?"

"Does this line of questioning have a point?" the Chief Inspector replied impatiently..

"I was getting to it. My point is that it's not up to you to decide what's best for Kent. He's more than capable of making that decision for himself. And if it makes him happy to be stuck with you, then who are you to tell him that he shouldn't?"

"But..."

"No but's. You can keep on giving excuses until the cows come home, but it won't change the fact that you want to be with Kent. That's all that really matters. Everything else is just background noise. If you ask me, you'd be damn lucky to be with him."

"What if I end up driving Kent away? What if I mess things up again? What if...?"

"What if you stop making excuses and listen to your heart for once? Do you really want to spend the rest of life your life regretting what could have been? Kent understands what it means to be an officer of the law. He's been through the trenches and has gone through a lot for someone so young. Most importantly, he knows you and accepts you for who you are, warts and all. Are you really willing to give him up for a life of regret?"

Chandler leaned back in his chair in defeat. For once, he had no answer. "You should have been a lawyer, Miles. You make a very good argument."

"What? And give up all the glamour of police work?" the older detective quipped.

Chandler smiled, immensely grateful for Miles' friendship. He took out a bottle of scotch from his bottom desk drawer accompanied by two glass tumblers.

"Will you have a drink with me before you go for old times' sake? I'll need all the fortification I can get if I'm going to go through with this."

Miles smiled and took one of the tumblers, waited until it was filled, and clinked it against Chandler's subsequently filled glass. "For old time's sake."

"So, now that you're in charge, how do you like running the show?" Chandler asked.

"I don't mind telling you this since you've been there before, but it's right a pain in the ass. I don't know how you put up with all the paperwork and dealing with the high muckity mucks at head office and their attitude."

Chandler chuckled in sympathy. "Not exactly what you thought it was, was it? Now you know what I had to go through."

"Every time I try to do some actual work, I keep getting pulled in another direction or I'm asked to put out a fire, or deal with some Human Resource Department issue. I wish people would just leave me the hell alone so I could do some actual work."

"It's only been two months and it won't always be like that. Give it some time. Look how long it took me to get used to it."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better? I guess I'm so used to the grind of police work that all my other new duties caught me off guard. Actually, I was surprised you followed through with your decision to leave."

"Why would you be surprised? I wasn't going to remain there forever."

"I just didn't picture you as the desk jockey type. You're a problem solver. That's what you do best."

"I admit, that the position is not quite exactly the perfect fit, but when an opportunity presents itself, you have to go for it."

"If you could come back, would you do it?"

"That would depend on whether or not Kent want's me back in his life."

"Oh, I'm sure he wants you back. He's just too stubborn to admit it. He's becoming a lot like you."

"That's a terrible thing to say to anyone. And unless I hear directly from Kent himself, I'm not going to hold my breath on any sort of reunion."

"Just to show you how confident I am, I'll jump on top of my desk in my skivvies and scream like a chicken if it turns out that I'm wrong about Kent."

Chandler laughed. "You really would do that, wouldn't you?"

Miles smiled knowingly as he took another sip of his drink. "Damn right I would."

"How did you know, Miles?"

"How did I know about what?"

"That I was attracted to Kent. I didn't even come to terms with it myself, until recently."

"That's like asking how do I know if the sun will come up tomorrow," the older man retorted. "You two were meant for each other. It doesn't take a detective to figure that out."

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Upload date: 30July2016 PST

_A/N: I don't know why Kent and Chandler make such a nice pair, but they just do. Thank you for your support!_


	10. Rapprochement

_And now what you've been anxiously waiting for._

**Chapter 10: Rapprochement**

* * *

"Hello, DC Kent speaking."

"You have a visitor to see you," the front desk constable replied through the speaker phone on his desk.

"I'm not expecting anyone. Did this person leave a name?"

"No, sir. Only that you were acquaintances. Hey, wait a minute! You can't just barge in..."

"What does a person have to do to get some service around here?" a familiar voice came from the doorway.

Kent looked up widening his eyes in surprise and shock. "It's all right Officer Welles. I can vouch for her," he replied before quickly making his way across the room. "Casey? What the hell?"

"Well that's a nice friendly greeting," the tall red-head replied as she gave him a warm hug. "And after I came all the from Sheffield too."

"Sorry. It's just an unexpected surprise. Is DS Lawson with you?"

"Jack had some business to attend to in town so I tagged along with him. We figured to make a weekend out of it and I thought it was the perfect opportunity to visit. By the way, Jack sends his regards."

"Please give him my regards as well."

"I will. Now that I'm here, it gives us a chance to catch up. Can you take a coffee break now?"

"Sure. But I'm afraid it'll have to be a short one and it'll have to be the canteen's brew. I've got a lot of work to do."

"Still the workaholic I see. Well, if that's the case, then so be it."

* * *

"How's married life treating you?"

"As well as can be expected. Jack and I still go about our normal routines, but nothing's really changed much. Seems hardly worth it."

"You don't really mean that."

"No, I don't," the older woman replied softly. "Strange how a piece of paper like a marriage certificate can change a person's life. At least Jack's libido hasn't changed. He's still as virile as ever."

"Please Casey, not on an empty stomach," Kent replied sarcastically.

"Sorry. It's just that I didn't think we could be any happier."

"Well, at least someone around here is. Tell me the truth. Why are you really here?"

"What? Can't I visit an old friend?"

"Of course you can. But I know you, Casey. You never do anything without an ulterior motive."

"You're still as sharp as ever. All right, the real reason I stopped by is because I wanted to apologize to you. I wanted to do it sooner, but I felt this needed to be done in person. Plus, I was too ashamed to face you."

"Why do you feel the need to apologize to me?" Kent asked in confusion.

"For telling you how to run your life and for giving you bad advice. And for possibly ruining any chance you had with Chief Inspector Chandler."

"I...I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I figured it out on my own when he came to Sheffield asking about you. I knew then and there that he was the one you were in love with."

Kent lowered his gaze to the table. "You don't have to apologize, Casey. You were right about everything. He was never going to return my feelings."

"You make it sound like it's a foregone conclusion. The last time we talked about it, you said nothing would change your mind."

"A lot of things have happened since then."

"But you were so insistent about waiting for him. What made you decide to give up?"

"It doesn't matter. None of it matters anymore because he's never coming back. He decided to leave Whitechapel on his own. If that's what he wants, then so be it."

"Are you only saying that to save face? Or is it because it's too painful to talk about it?" the other DC asked intuitively.

"A little from column A and little bit from column B," Kent admitted softly.

"I'm sorry, Emerson. I know it's little consolation to hear this now, but he really did care about you. You should have seen the look in Chandler's eyes and the concern in his voice when he thought you were in trouble. That wasn't the look of someone who was pretending to care."

"I don't doubt his sincerity and I know that he cares about me. He just doesn't care enough to want to be with me romantically. He can't get over the past and his hangups, so he's using it as a convenient excuse to get away from me."

"But it still doesn't explain why you gave up all of a sudden."

Kent sighed deeply before replying. "When we were at the Devonshire Cat, he happened to be there at the same time. I overheard him talking to Commander Anderson and they were talking about me. He told the Commander that he could never be in a relationship with me."

"Oh, Emerson," Casey responded in sympathy. "No wonder you weren't acting like your yourself afterward. Is that why you started going out with all those blokes?"

"I didn't plan to in the beginning. At first, I did it to forget about him. But as time passed, it became a necessary crutch, especially when I came back home where I still had to face him every day. When he found out how I felt about him we had a big blowup. Even though we managed to make peace with each other afterward, it didn't last long. He thought we could put what happened behind us and try to move forward. He expected me to forgive and forget, but I couldn't do that. Then a few weeks later he drops the bombshell on us that he's leaving. He even said that he was doing it for my sake. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?"

"Maybe it wasn't ridiculous after all. Maybe he was just trying to make the best of an awkward situation. It sounds to me like he was thinking more about your needs than his own."

"I find that hard to believe. When someone says they can't take it anymore, it usually means they can't wait to escape a bad situation."

"Couldn't he have meant it in another way? Isn't it possible that he was hurting just as much as you were?"

"Whose side are you on?"

"Yours, of course. But it wasn't as if Chandler knew you were there and said what he did to hurt you on purpose."

"Stop making sense. You're making it hard for me to be mad him."

"I bet I know why you're feeling some resentment. You expected him to realize your feelings, didn't you?" the older detective constable surmised astutely.

"No. Maybe. Okay fine, I did. But he should have figured it out after all these years."

"Emerson, be reasonable. You can't expect a person to be a mind reader and know what you're thinking. Especially not from someone with whom you claim to be in love with. I'll bet that Chandler didn't even mean half the things he said when he told you he was leaving Whitechapel."

"I've known him a lot longer than you have, Casey. When he says something, he means it. And I have every right to feel slighted. He gets a promotion and moves up the chain of command to become Chief Inspector. And by doing that, he escapes all the personal drama while I'm left with nothing except painful memories and a broken heart. He took the easy way out by leaving."

"That's not fair. You're just lashing out at him because you're hurt and he's not here to defend himself. I'm sure that there's more to it than what it appears on the surface. Chandler doesn't strike me as the kind of person to take the easy way out. If you ask me, I think that he was telling you the truth. Perhaps he left because being around you reminded him of the pain he inadvertently caused you. He must have been so overcome with guilt that he just couldn't take it anymore. Maybe that's what he meant."

"And how would you know? Are you a mind-reader or something?"

"I know because that's exactly what happened with me and Jack before we eventually got together. You think I'm bossy now? You should have seen me back then in the early days. I said some horrible things to him during this one particular case. I wanted to be given more responsibility. I told him he was only holding me back because we were dating and that he was only looking out for his reputation. It got so bad between us that he suggested we take a break from each other for a while. I didn't realize that he was just doing his job. He couldn't allow me to get special treatment or else it could have caused a problem for the both of us. I couldn't get past my ego to see that there were other detectives who were more qualified and experienced than I was at the time and deserved the chance to excel. Jack was willing to take brunt of my anger because he didn't want me to lose my drive and ambition. But even he had his limits. When DI Spencer told me the truth, I felt so bad that I couldn't even face Jack because the guilt was eating me up inside. Fortunately, we worked it out."

"Chandler told me something similar," Kent replied softly. "He said that he couldn't allow any perceived appearance of favoritism. I thought he was only thinking about his reputation, but in hindsight I suppose his hands were tied since his orders were coming from the Commander himself."

"It's easy to see only one side when you're hurting, isn't it?"

"So you're saying that it's my fault?"

"Of course not. All I'm getting at is that we all say and do things for a reason and that there are both sides to a story. Perhaps in your case, the truth lies somewhere in between."

"Perhaps," Kent replied softly.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"That's never stopped you before."

"If Chandler were to come to you and say that he wants to be with you, what would you do?"

"I can't give you an answer because that will never happen."

"Just for the sake of argument. Hypothetically speaking, what would you do?"

"I'd probably faint first. And then...then I don't know what I would do."

Casey covered Kent's hands with her palms. "Then there's still hope."

Kent gave a wry grin. "I wish I had your faith, Casey."

* * *

"All right, all right. I'm coming," Kent shouted as he rushed to answer the front door of his flat. He cursed briefly when he stubbed his toe against the corner leg of the sofa. That one would leave a bruise. His eyes widened as big as saucers when he opened the door to see the familiar tall blond haired, blue eyed man who still haunted his dreams, standing right before him. When they last parted ways, Kent thought he would never see him again. And yet there he was in the flesh, standing right before him.

"Hello Kent," Chandler replied softly. It was so good to see him again. "I know that I should have called first, but I was already in the area. If you're busy I can always come back another time."

"I was just about to get some takeout for dinner, but that can wait. Please, come in."

Chandler nodded in acknowledgment before entering. He was a bundle of nerves inside and his hands were practically sweating with perspiration. He must have been crazy to listen to Miles. This was going to blow up in his face. He just knew it would. But too much was at stake to back away now. He couldn't lose Kent again.

"You're looking well, sir. Scotland Yard seems to agree with you," Kent offered neutrally.

"Thank you. You're looking well yourself."

"What are you doing here?" Kent replied pointedly. He saw no point in beating around the bush.

"I wanted to see you again. It's been two months and I thought it was time."

"Are you sure it wasn't to check up on me? See if I'm not sleeping around again without using protection," Kent replied sarcastically.

"I guess I deserved that," Chandler admitted contritely. "Would it bother you if that was the case, Kent? Would it bother you to know that still care about you very much to the point where I can't stop thinking about you?"

Kent certainly had not expected that particular response from him, and especially not those words. There was something slightly off about him, but Kent couldn't quite put his finger on it. Chandler seemed nervous, worried, and anxious all at the same time, which was a rare sight to behold. This was not the same no-nonsense Detective Inspector who had ruled over Whitechapel with an iron fist. This was an entirely different man standing before him.

"No, it wouldn't bother me. But what does bother me is why you suddenly decided to show up after all this time. What's wrong? Did you get bored and couldn't find anyone else to torment?"

"Believe me, I've done enough self-tormenting to last a lifetime. But I didn't come here tonight to bring up the past. In fact, I came here to talk to you about something that could affect both our futures. When I decided to accept the promotion to Scotland Yard, I knew that I would have to give up certain things like being away from familiar surroundings and leaving behind a wonderful group of people to work with. It wasn't until I was actually gone that the reality hit me of how much I would miss everyone. I didn't realize just how much I would miss YOU, especially."

Kent felt his heart beating faster against his chest as listened intently. "I missed you too," he replied very softly.

"I've been thinking a lot lately about what you said before I left. It's not easy for me to admit that I have flaws and weaknesses. It's not easy for me to admit a lot of things. But I took a long hard look at myself and discovered certain attributes that I'm not particularly proud of. I wasn't telling you the whole truth when I told you that I was leaving for your sake. There was some truth in that, but I had a far more pressing reason that weighed heavily on my conscience as well as in my heart. You were right, Kent. I WAS running away, but it wasn't because I wanted to get away from you. I was running away because I was afraid."

"Afraid? But why, sir?" Kent replied incredulously. Chandler was many things, but being fearful was not usually one of them.

"Because..." Chandler hesitated nervously, "...because I didn't want to acknowledge that I...I..."

"What are trying to tell me?"

"I didn't want to acknowledge that I was attracted to you."

Kent's eyes widened in shock. Surely, this was all a dream. Or perhaps he was hallucinating. This couldn't be the same Joseph Chandler who pushed him away and told him point blank that they could never be in a relationship. Kent reached out tentatively to touch Chandler's cheek to convince himself that he wasn't dreaming. The warm smooth skin beneath his fingertips verified that Chandler was really there in front him. It was almost too good to be true. Chandler felt that familiar warmth again that Kent alone provided when he touched him.

"You aren't a mirage after all," Kent replied softly as he pulled his hand back. "My eyes are functioning, but I'm having a hard time believing what I'm hearing. Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because you deserve the truth and because I couldn't continue with this charade any longer. I never told you this before Kent, but you've always had a special place in my heart. From the moment you helped me out on my first day on the job, I knew that you were someone I could trust and lean on for support. I had never met anyone who was so pure and earnest in their intentions and who wanted to emulate me. I knew that I could depend on you for anything. But as time passed, I took you for granted. I let circumstances sway my opinions of you and I treated you like a second class citizen when you didn't deserve it. I even let my infatuation with Morgan get in the way of our working relationship. It never occurred to me at the time that you were attracted to me. But when you finally told me how you felt, I panicked. I guess deep down, there was a part of me that suspected how you felt, but I didn't want to acknowledge it because I was afraid. I was afraid that I might actually feel something for you as well, but I wasn't mentally ready to accept that because of my past, my insecurities, as well as my fear of change. So I told you that we could never be in a romantic relationship which brought a wedge between us. I never took into account that I would come to regret my decision.

I missed the way it used to be and the interaction we shared on a daily basis. I missed seeing the way your eyes would light up whenever I praised you or you had an update and wanted to share it with me right away. I didn't want things to change even though you said that we couldn't go back to the way it was before. And I also knew that I was being selfish because I wanted our friendship to remain intact in spite of that. But when I saw Ian Tremaine hurting you with my own eyes, I knew that something in our relationship had changed and I couldn't remain indifferent any longer. That's why I wanted to throttle him within an inch of his life when I saw him assaulting you. Whenever I saw you leaving the station with another man, I couldn't stand it. Something indescribable came over me that never happened before. The thought of any one else holding you or touching you made me go into irrational fits of jealousy. I wanted to be the one to hold you and comfort you. I wanted to be the one to touch you. But the rational side of me kept saying that being in a relationship with you wasn't going to work. I convinced myself that there were too many obstacles between us and that I was too messed up inside to give you the kind of relationship that any other normal person would be able to give you. That was the other reason why I took the promotion at Scotland Yard. I thought that if I went away, my feelings for you would go away as well and that you would be free to find that special someone who would be lucky enough to have you by his side. But that didn't work because the further I ran away, the stronger my feelings became. I've always cared about you, Kent, but this goes beyond the platonic relationship we've shared up to this point. I know that this may seem like it's coming out of the blue, and truthfully, it's uncharted waters for me as well. But I've never felt this way about anyone in my life. When I'm away from you, it feels like there's a part of me that's missing. Does that even make any sense?"

"Actually, it does," Kent replied softly. Even though he appeared to be unaffected on the outside, it was quite the opposite on the inside. Kent was suddenly hit with so many emotions at once that he didn't know what to think. Surprise, angst, disbelief, and hope were all mixed together, overwhelming him at the same time. Was this really happening? After so many years of heartache and tears, did Chandler really want to be with him? It was almost too good to be true.

"I know that I've made mistakes and I know I can't change the past. But I also don't want to have regrets for the rest of my life for letting you go."

"What exactly do you want then?" Kent asked solemnly.

Chandler looked into Kent's eyes and replied without hesitation. "I want to be with you, Kent. I want to be with you in every way. I don't deserve a second chance after everything that's happened, but that's exactly what I'm asking from you now. I want to show you how much I want to be with you. And I want to show you just how important you are to me. I'm probably never going to be the kind of person you deserve in a partner, but I promise to try. I swear that I'll try with every last breath in my body if you'll give me a chance, that is...if you still want to be with me."

Kent had to take a deep breath to calm his heart before responding. It wasn't surprising that he was hesitant. He had gotten his hopes up too many times in the past to take Chandler's word at face value right away.

"I hope you're not expecting me to jump into your arms and shed tears of joy."

"I didn't come here with any expectations, Kent. I knew that convincing you of my intentions wasn't going to be easy and I understand that I haven't earned the benefit of the doubt. I'll do whatever it takes to gain back your trust no matter how long it takes. It's a wonder you're actually talking to me at all because anyone else would have probably slammed the door in my face by now."

"I'm glad you understand that, because like you, I've been doing a lot of thinking as well. Whether or not it was your intention, you caused me a lot of heartache and many sleepless nights because you weren't completely honest with yourself and your feelings. I understand now that you were confused and afraid at the time and I don't fault you for that. But still, you pushed me away because you said that you couldn't me give me what I deserved. You basically implied that your needs were more important and that you didn't have faith in me to accept you in spite of your shortcomings. I can't go through that turmoil again if you're going to retreat into your personal safe haven every time you have a panic attack. And I don't think I can be with someone who emotionally pushes me away every time he's uncomfortable or feels threatened. I need to know that no matter what happens, you'll let me into your world and allow me to be a part of your life in good times and in bad times. I don't want be included only when it's convenient and I don't want to be just an outside spectator."

Chandler's expression softened with unspoken admiration for Kent's wisdom.

"You're absolutely right, Kent. I should have trusted you more than I did. I've been hiding behind my fears and insecurities for so long that it became an automatic response for me to push people away. I always believed that I was destined to be alone because no one could put up with me. In actuality, I was the one that put a stop to it before any relationship could even develop. When you admitted that you had feelings for me, I was completely blown away. I didn't think anyone would ever put up with my obsessive compulsive nature and still want to be with me, let alone my junior officer. But I knew that being with someone like me was going to take the patience of a saint. I couldn't allow you to waste your efforts and get nothing in return. And I couldn't subject you to that kind of future when you deserved so much better. I'm not going to lie and say that I won't ever panic because that might be out of my control. But I do promise you that if I do, you'll be the first one I go to. And I won't push you away again."

"I want to believe you, but I don't know if I should. Up until this moment, you've never given me any indication that you cared about me as anything other than a subordinate. You told the Commander point-blank that a relationship with me was never going to happen. Even after discovering the truth about me, you kept saying that we could never be together. Now you suddenly tell me that you've seen the light and want me to accept you with open arms. That's asking a hell of a lot. And it's going to take more than words to convince me that you're really serious about this."

Chandler reached up, framed Kent's face in his hands, and stared deeply into the younger man's eyes before slowly lowering his head to press a soft, but firm kiss against Kent's lips. It was tentative, earnest, and passionate all at the same time as Chandler tried to convey what words couldn't. Kent closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss, soaking in the moment that he could only imagine in his dreams. Chandler was kissing him. And to think, he was the one who initiated it.

"How's that for a start?" Chandler asked uncertainly after they separated.

Kent's eyes were brimming with anticipation. His body felt like it had awakened from a long slumber as Chandler stirred feelings in him he thought had been buried deep inside.

"I didn't know you could kiss like that," Kent admitted. "Wow."

Chandler smiled with visible relief as his eyes and facial expression echoed the same sentiment.

"I'll take that as a compliment. Kent...Emerson," he quickly amended. "I know that there's so much that we still haven't learned about each other. And I know that it will take time to fix our relationship after everything that's happened between us. But if you believe anything I tell you, then believe in this. What I feel for you is real and it's not going to go away. When we had that heart to heart conversation the night you were assaulted, I began to realize that what I had been feeling for you was not a mirage. I felt the attraction that night so strongly that it almost overwhelmed me. You probably don't remember this, but you fell asleep on the couch and held on to me when I put a blanket over you. I've never forgotten how it felt to have you pressed against me like that as we fell asleep in each others arms. It was as though you had always belonged there."

"So that wasn't a dream after all. I wish I had been awake long enough to remember it," Kent replied wistfully.

"If you give me another chance, I promise to make many more memories like that so that you CAN remember. We don't have to rush anything Emerson. I just want to prove to you that I meant what I said. Will you give me another chance and let me show you?"

All of a sudden a loud growl came from the vicinity of Kent's stomach reminding him that he hadn't eaten in hours. Chandler and Kent both looked at each other and broke out laughing at the absurd timing, but grateful for breaking the tension in to the room. What was it about Kent's apartment and the both of them being hungry at the same time?

"I think my stomach just remembered that it needed food. I'd better go get it before dinner turns into breakfast."

"May I join you? That is, if you don't mind. After all, I still owe you that drink that we never followed up on."

Kent was touched that Chandler even remembered. His sweet smile made Chandler's heart flutter, proving that he had made the right decision by following his heart.

"I think I'd like that. But before we go any further, there's something I have to get off my chest."

"What is it?" Chandler asked quizzically.

"I owe you an apology that's long overdue," Kent offered softly.

"Why? You don't have anything to apologize for."

"Yes, I do. I put a lot of the blame on you when you didn't deserve the brunt of it. I expected you to know how I felt when I should have just cleared the air and told you directly. Instead, I let resentment build up and blamed you for everything that went wrong. It was easier to lash out at you in anger than to admit that no one was at fault. I was hurting so much that I ended up hurting you as well. I'm sorry, sir. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

Chandler was dumbstruck with awe. Just when he thought he knew him, Kent found new ways to surprise him.

"I guess we both did our fair share of playing the blame game, didn't we? Why don't we just say that we're even now."

"Agreed. But this doesn't mean that I've accepted you back into my life completely. You've got your chance, but you're going to have show me that you're serious about this like you say you are. After all, I don't expect you to change overnight, sir."

"I understand. There's just one more thing."

"Making demands already, I see," Kent quipped playfully.

"That's not it at all. It's just, do you think you could call me by my first name?"

"I think I can handle that," Kent replied gently. Chandler didn't even need to ask.

* * *

"I don't care what you say Joe. That movie was fine for a sequel," Kent declared as they entered his flat.

It was only their third date and already they were arguing, but in a friendly way. Over the past few weeks, they spent a lot of their time together talking and really getting to know each other. Little by little, they were re-building figurative bridges and starting to communicate again. Now that everything was out in the open, they had no reason to hold back. There was an immense sense of freedom as they let down their personal barriers and connected with each other again. As they spent more time together, Chandler found more things about Kent to love. He discovered that Kent had a dry wit and always found something to tease him about even it was a peculiar habit of his. But it was never done in a vicious, mocking way. It made Chandler feel less self-conscious as he began to take things less seriously. He even learned to laugh at himself, which was nothing short of a miracle.

"I'm not saying it wasn't a good movie. I just thought that the original was better," Chandler retorted as he sat down next to Kent on the sofa.

"Well of course the original is going to outshine its sequel. It came first when we're introduced to the characters and their quirks."

"That's true, but that's why it had a stronger impact. The technology was new at the time and we didn't know what to expect. A sequel is bound to depend on its predecessor in order to succeed."

"Not necessarily. I thought the sequel did well as a stand alone movie. As long as you have a good story to tell, then it will succeed."

"You know, you can be quite argumentative when you want to be."

Kent smiled as he inched closer to Chandler. "And where do you think I learned that from?"

Chandler smiled back as he put his arm around Kent's shoulder and pulled him closer. "Guilty as charged."

"Thank you for tonight, Joe. I really enjoyed myself."

"Me too. It's been a long time since I've even been to the movies with someone."

Kent pulled back slightly. "What? You can't be serious."

"I'm afraid that I am. I usually wait for them to come out on DVD."

"We're going to have to break that habit. What do you like to do to relax besides watching DVD's?"

"I like to read quite a bit and go for long walks. I also like to indulge in going to music concerts when I can. That reminds me, I haven't heard you play the guitar yet."

"You don't really want to hear me play, do you?" Kent asked hesitantly.

Chandler smiled at Kent's bashfulness. "I certainly do."

"Is that an order?"

"Yes," Chandler replied teasingly. "If it will help, I'll even say pretty please, with sugar on top."

"I have a better proposition. If I play for you, will you give me a kiss?"

Kent really was adorable sometimes. "I might," Chandler replied with a coy smile.

"All right. Just don't laugh, okay? I haven't played in years."

"I would never laugh at you, Emerson."

Kent went over to the corner, took out his acoustic guitar, and returned to his place on the sofa next to Chandler before expertly tuning it until he was satisfied. He played a few chords to get his fingers warmed up and cleared his throat a couple of times. Chandler noticed that Kent's fingers were long and tapered which made them perfect for the span of the guitar strings. He then began to sing a slow and mellow ballad from the 1970's as his fingers strummed effortlessly. Chandler could tell that he knew his craft like an expert. Kent's voice was just as smooth and flowing as his playing skills, as his facial expression reflected the soulful lyrics of the song. Chandler found himself entranced not only by the song and its phrasing, but more so because Kent sang it with so much feeling. He wondered how someone as young as Kent would even come across an old song that probably wouldn't garner as much popularity now as it did back in the day.

When Kent finished, he gave Chandler a half-embarrassed look and asked, "Well? What do you think?"

Chandler crossed the gap between them and brushed a gentle kiss against Kent's lips. "That's what I think. You sing and play beautifully."

Kent smiled as he put the guitar back in its protective case and went back to Chandler's side. "You're a good audience. Thanks for not laughing."

"I'm being completely honest with you. That was almost as good as the original."

"Flattery will get you everywhere. So, what do you want to do now?"

"What do YOU want to do?"

"I know this might sound silly, but..." Kent hesitated.

"Go on. Tell me."

"Could we just snuggle for a while?"

"Snuggle? I'm not exactly sure how to do that."

"Well, you put your arms around me like this," Kent instructed as he placed Chandler's arms around his upper torso.

Chandler tightened his embrace. It felt so good to hold him again. "So far so good. And then what?"

"Then I lay my head against your chest like this," Kent replied, rubbing his cheek against Chandler's strong chest. "And then we just enjoy each other's company."

"I didn't know what I was missing all this time. You want to know something?"

"What is it?"

"I think I like snuggling, especially when it's with you."

"At least I'm awake to remember it this time," Kent joked.

Chandler laughed as he held him closely. They sat in silence just enjoying the moment of peace from the craziness and demands of their jobs and everyday life and just enjoying each other. Chandler felt so much at ease with Kent. He was like a salve for his soul. How could he have ignored him for so long?

"This is nice."

"Mm hmm," Kent agreed.

"Emerson, am I any closer to convincing you of my intentions?" Chandler asked softly.

"I'd say you're about 25% of the way there."

"What!? Only 25%?" Chandler replied in disbelief as he pulled away. Kent almost burst out laughing at the look of sheer indignance on his face.

"I told you that it wasn't going to be easy, didn't I?"

"I think you need a little more convincing."

Chandler lowered his head to kiss him. Kent gently grabbed the lapels of Chandler's jacket and pulled the older man down with him as they fell back against the cushions. He moaned in pleasure when Chandler's tongue made its way into his mouth exploring and tasting him. It was a strange feeling for Chandler, but hygiene was the furthest thing from his mind at the moment. It felt so good. Up to that point, they had only engaged in a few chaste kisses, mainly on the cheek. But this time, Chandler wanted to go further. Kent raked his fingers through Chandler's silky smooth hair and massaged his scalp encouraging him to continue. Chandler responded by bringing Kent against him so that the entire length of their bodies were pressed against each other. Kent felt like he was on fire. He had never felt so wantonly out of control with anyone before, and this was just from one kiss! Chandler himself was surprised at the passions Kent stirred within him as he couldn't get enough. When they eventually broke away from each other, they were both gasping for air and their eyes were wide with desire and anticipation.

"Sorry for losing my head. I didn't mean to get carried away," Chandler offered apologetically.

Kent reached up to cradle Chandler's cheek. "I'm not sorry. I changed my mind, Joe. You're up to 50% now."

"Then I should have done that sooner," Chandler replied with a knowing smile as he helped Kent back up to a sitting position. "But I don't want to rush things and I don't want to mess up this second chance with you. I want you to be sure of me as I am about you."

"Joe, tell me the truth. Are you comfortable with everything? I mean, I didn't expect you to change overnight."

"Truthfully, it hasn't been easy. After all, I've been on my own for a very long time and I've had to adjust accordingly. But it's a different story whenever we're together. I don't think that it's hard at all."

"What do you mean?"

"When I'm with you Emerson, I feel like I can put aside my inhibitions and just be myself. You give me hope for the future and that I can actually find happiness. I feel like...like I'm finally home."

Kent closed the gap between them and hugged Chandler tightly. He felt exactly the same way.

* * *

"You're looking happier these days," Mansell observed as a more cheerful Kent couldn't help smiling as he went through his usual pile of paperwork. "Got a new fellow or something?"

"No. An old one," Kent replied secretly.

He still had to pinch himself when he thought of the past few weeks. In some ways, it was strange for Chandler to be courting him the way he was doing, in a sense that no one would ever suspect him as the lovey-dovey type. Kent had to admit that Chandler was really trying hard to show how much he wanted to be with him. He was charming and attentive and he made Kent feel like he was the most important person in the world. But to tell the truth, Chandler didn't have to jump through hoops to convince Kent. He won him over the moment he kissed him for the first time. But Kent wasn't going to tell Chandler that. Although they had not gone beyond a few kisses and some cuddling, the sexual tension between them was definitely building. Kent could feel it every time Chandler reluctantly pulled away. Everything seemed to be progressing nicely. But there was still something holding Chandler back and that was the topic of his family. It was the one part of himself that Chandler would not share. Kent was hesitant to bring it up just when everything was going so well between them. But eventually, he would have to address it with Chandler if they were ever going to have a future together. He didn't want the past to hold Chandler back as it had done up to this point.

"Good for you, Kent. I thought you'd never get out of that rut you were in."

"I was NOT in a rut."

"Suuure you weren't. Well, at least things are back to normal. I hated seeing you so down."

"Really?"

"Well don't sound so surprised. I'm not a total unfeeling bastard."

"Sorry. I thought you kind of resented me for what I told Erica about you."

"I did at the beginning. You're lucky you got away with only a black eye. But then I realized if Erica could forgive you, then I figured I had no reason to hold a grudge."

"Well, what do you know? You actually did something mature for once."

"Yup, that proves it. You're back to your old self again."

* * *

"Emerson? What are you doing here so early? I thought we were going to meet at one o'clock?"

Kent reached up to kiss Chandler's cheek fondly as he walked into the chic and spotless flat that he had recently become acquainted with. "Sorry for not letting you know I was coming sooner, but I was in a hurry. I know this is last minute, but I was just wondering if would you be terribly disappointed if we didn't go to the art exhibit today."

"Of course I wouldn't. We can always catch the exhibit another time. But I've got my whole afternoon cleared. Now what are we going to do?"

Kent bit his lower lip anxiously and was visibly hesitant before answering him.

"Well, I thought maybe...maybe I could meet with your family today."

An ashen look came over Chandler's face immediately. "This is going a bit too fast isn't it? We've only been together for a month."

"Technically, we've known each other for almost six years and have been dating for a month, but I get your point."

"Why did you suddenly want to do this?"

"Because, I've always wanted to meet your family. And if we're going continue with this relationship, it would be good to know how they feel about me. It's better to know right off the bat, isn't it?"

Chandler looked away in distraction. It was though he was fighting an internal battle with himself.

"You don't seem too thrilled at the idea. Is it because you're ashamed of me?"

He immediately looked into Kent's eyes and replied vehemently, "No! Of course not!"

"Then what is it?"

All of a sudden Chandler made a beeline for the bathroom and began vigorously washing his hands. Kent followed after him and was startled at how the older man kept washing his hands over and over again. It went on for several minutes as Chandler seemed in a trance and couldn't stop himself. For the first time, Kent was witnessing one of his obsessive compulsive moments. Finally, Kent turned off the water handles and grabbed hold of Chandler's hands and held them in palms until the episode subsided. Then without saying a word, he took one of the hand towels and dried Chandler's hands before leading him back into the living room.

"Are you all right now?" Kent asked worriedly.

"Yes. It's over for the moment. I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Don't be. Now I know what it's like for you when you go through something like that. You see? I didn't run away from you."

Chandler smiled gently. "No, you didn't. I don't even know why I thought you would. Emerson..."

"You don't have to say anything, Joe. I understand if you don't want me to meet your family."

"That's not it. The truth is, I don't have any other family except my parents. My father passed away when I was in my early teens. And my mother is...she's not up to seeing visitors," he replied evasively.

"I didn't realize she wasn't well. I'm sorry."

"That's all right. Why don't we just forget about it and stay in and see what's on the telly instead or maybe watch a DVD?"

"Joe, what's really bothering you?" Kent asked intuitively.

"What makes you think that something's bothering me?"

"You practically turned white when I brought up the subject of your family. A few minutes ago, you just went through one of your OCD episodes. Now you want to want to switch topics. Does it bother you to talk about your parents?"

"My father's death was very hard on everyone involved. It's not something I like to talk about."

"Maybe it's time you did. It's obviously still affecting you after all these years."

"What exactly do you want from me? I've done everything to try to make things right between us, but it's still not enough. Is this some kind of test to prove my feelings for you?"

"That's not it at all. You've spent so many years on your own with no one to share your burdens with. I just wanted to help you alleviate that pain even if it's a little bit. Please don't think I don't appreciate your efforts Joe, because I know how hard you're trying. I've loved every minute we've spent together and I realize that you've had to step out of your comfort zone for my sake. You don't realize how special that makes me feel. I didn't think it was possible to love you even more than I already do, but you've made that happen."

"Wait a minute. What did you just say?"

"I just want to help you."

"I meant AFTER that."

"I said that I love you, Joseph Chandler," Kent replied softly. "I've loved you from the moment you walked into my life. When you left Whitechapel I wanted to tell you then, but the words never came out. I thought I would never get the chance again. This time I'm not taking any chances."

Chandler responded by pulling Kent into his arms and giving him a humongous bear hug. Kent reached around Chandler's broad back and returned the hug. He didn't expect Chandler to reciprocate with any declarations of love in return. He knew him long enough to know that his actions spoke louder than words. Kent knew that Chandler felt the same way.

"Joe?" Kent whispered after a moment.

"What is it?"

"I can't breathe."

He immediately released Kent, but kept him in the circle of his arms. "Sorry. I was just so overwhelmed."

"I noticed," the younger man replied with a grin.

"Are you sure Emerson? I mean I don't want you to think that I forced you into saying that."

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. I do have a question for you though. You told Commander Anderson back in Sheffield that you would never allow yourself to be in a relationship because it hurt too much. You were so adamant about it. What made you change your mind?"

"Someone very wise asked me if I was willing to live the rest of my life regretting what could have been. When I thought about how empty my life was without you, I decided that you were worth the risk. Back then, I was only thinking with my head when I should have listened to my heart. As Miles likes to tell me, I think too much."

Kent couldn't help but laugh, which caused Chandler to tighten his hold.

"I hope you know what you're doing Emerson, because I'm never going to let you go now. But you must know that I won't share you with anyone else either. I've come to realize that I'm very possessive when it comes to you."

"I'm glad to hear that and it's very flattering, but you don't have any reason to be jealous. You're the only one I ever truly wanted to be with, Joe. No one else even comes close."

"Good, because I want to be the only man in your life from now on. Can you live with that? Because if you can't, then there's no point in going any further."

Kent linked his arms around Chandler's neck before reaching up to kiss him deeply and longingly. Chandler brought Kent against him so that their bodies aligned in harmony as he returned the kiss with equal passion. Kent felt every muscled contour of Chandler's body and arched his back, wanting to be even closer. He could already feel an immediate physical response from both of their excited bodies.

"I can live with that," Kent responded breathlessly. "But the same goes for you too. I'm not sharing you with anyone else, Joe. And if anyone makes eyes at you, I can't be held responsible for what I might do. I'm not going to lose you again."

"You don't have to worry because I'm not going anywhere. You're the only one I want as well."

"Good. And in case you haven't figured it out by now, I'm 100% convinced of your feelings for me."

"It's about time," Chandler teased as he linked his arms around Kent's waist. His smile faded to an expression filled with uncertainty. "Emerson, about my parents, I want you to know that it's not that I don't trust you. I know that I promised to share everything with you. But right now, I'm just not re..."

Kent placed a finger on Chandler's lips to stop him. "Whenever you're ready, I'll be here waiting for you. There's no rush, because I'm not going anywhere either."

Chandler took Kent's hand and placed it on his chest, covering it with his own hand, thanking every star in the heavens that the younger man was in his life.

"You asked me once if I would be able to hold you or touch you, or if I would be able to make love to you. I've never been more ready or able than at this moment."

"Now?" Kent asked in surprise. He didn't think that Chandler would be ready for the next step in their relationship so quickly.

"Right now. After all, we have the entire afternoon to ourselves."

"But I didn't bring any...you know," the younger man replied tactfully. He had no doubts that Chandler would be a faithful partner, but knowing his OCD habits, Kent also knew that Chandler would feel more comfortable using protection for both their sakes.

"I've got that covered. I've been doing research and picked up some supplies just in case."

"Research?" Kent giggled in surprise.

"I didn't want to appear ignorant so I've been reading up on the subject. I know it's not the same as practical experience, but I didn't want to do anything that would hurt you or make you uncomfortable. I wanted our first time together to be special and I didn't want to disappoint you."

Kent reached up and framed Chandler's face in his hands before kissing him fondly. "You're adorable, do you know that?"

Chandler's cheek flushed to a rosy pink. "No, I'm not. You're just exaggerating."

"In all my experience, no one ever asked me what I wanted when it came to sex. They just took whatever they wanted without a second thought. You're the first person who's ever cared about my wants and needs. That's a pretty nice feeling."

Chandler's blue eyes darkened with unspoken desire. He wanted to make Kent forget about anyone who ever came before. "I want to make love to you, Emerson. I want to make love to you right now. Will you let me?"

"That's one question you never have to ask."

Chandler took Kent's hand securely in his, and led the way to his bedroom. They sat down at the edge of the bed and looked deeply into each other's eyes. Chandler reached up to slowly undo the buttons of Kent's shirt one by one, making the younger man's breath catch with anticipation. Chandler was amazed at how beautiful Kent was as his upper torso was exposed before his eyes. His pale skin was so delicate and inviting. He wanted to touch and caress that porcelain skin that beckoned him in enticement. Chandler couldn't stop himself when he bent down to kiss Kent's chest, making the younger man moan softly. Kent couldn't wait any longer as he gently pushed Chandler away so that he could remove his shirt as well. He quickly and deftly undid the buttons of his expensive shirt in contrast to Chandler's slow and deliberate movements. He laughed softly at Kent's impatience. Kent almost ripped the shirt right off of him. He couldn't help but stare at Chandler's toned chest, his muscled arms, and those strong hands. Good lord, he was amazing. And he belonged to him alone.

"Is it strange that I'm a little nervous?" Chandler asked worriedly.

"No. I'm nervous too. This is the first time I've done this since that night with Ian."

"Oh Emerson, I'm sorry. That thought never even occurred to me. Do you want to stop?"

Kent answered by throwing his arms around Chandler and kissing him passionately. He pitched forward with so much force that he almost knocked the bigger man backwards if Chandler hadn't grabbed onto Kent's waist. When he got his balance back, Chandler lowered Kent backwards onto the mattress, giving into the moment and their mutual desire for each other. They spent the rest of the afternoon bathed by the sun's rays and scaled the heights of ecstasy as they expressed their feelings for each other and finally came together as one. Time could have stopped moving and neither of them would have noticed or cared.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

Upload Date: 01Aug2016 PST

_A/N: I hope it was worth the wait. It only took me 9 chapters to get to their first kiss! That must be a record :)_


	11. Future Perfect

Sorry for the delay! That last chapter gave me all the feels. Sigh. Anyway, happy reading everyone!

* * *

  **Chapter 11: Future Perfect**

"Looks like SOMEONE's been getting some action lately," Mansell noted from his desk as a noticeably more affable Kent went about his business filing documents at the far end of the office. "You'd think he cornered the market on happiness by the way he's been going about lately."

"Don't be such an ass," Riley chastised. "He deserves it. You're just being salty because we lost the bet."

"Hey, twenty pounds is twenty pounds. Wouldn't you just know it that DI Miles won?"

"You don't fool me, Finlay Mansell. Admit it, you're happy for Kent as well."

"Yeah, I guess so. I just wish he wouldn't flaunt it as if he's the only one who's ever been in love. It's making me sick."

"If I finally got the man of my dreams after years of heartache, I'd be doing cartwheels and backflips."

"I never thought it would never happen with those two, especially after Chandler left. And especially not with someone as high maintenance like he is."

"It just goes to show you that anything can happen. Who would have thought that Kent of all people, would catch the most eligible bachelor around."

"Looks like our eager little puppy is all grown up now."

"You sound like an old man," Riley replied playfully throwing a scrunched up paper ball at him.

Kent was oblivious to Riley and Mansell's conversation as he continued filing away. He suddenly jumped at the sudden incoming text message on his phone and smiled when he noticed that it was from Chandler. When he stopped to think at how much both their lives had changed, he couldn't help but shake his head in amazement. He would sometimes find himself blushing when recalling their first time together. It was beyond anything Kent ever dreamed it would be. What was surprising was just how skilled Chandler had become since then. All that research certainly paid off. But it wasn't just the physical side of their relationship that was responsible for Kent's happy demeanor. It was the fact that he and Chandler were getting emotionally closer with each passing day. And although Chandler still had his foibles and obsessive ways, there was a definite change in him for the better.

"Can you meet me after work tonight at the St. George Wharf Pier? I'll be waiting for you on the last dock."

"Of course I can meet you. Is everything all right?"

"I'll tell you all about it when you get there."

Kent felt immediate apprehension. Chandler sounded so secretive. Was he having second thoughts about their relationship? Did he want to call it quits already?

Kent immediately slapped his head in self-admonishment. "Don't be so daft, Em," he replied to himself before walking back to his desk.

* * *

"Hey," Kent greeted Chandler when he reached the pier later that night.

"Hey," Chandler greeted him back. "I guess you're wondering what all the secrecy is about and why I asked you to meet me here."

"The thought never crossed my mind."

Chandler raised an eyebrow in doubt. "Oh really?"

"Okay, you got me. I've been dying to know."

"You wouldn't be far from the truth," Chandler replied as he turned to gaze out over the Thames as the shimmering water reflected the city night lights. It took him a moment to gather his thoughts. "This is the pier where my father drowned many years ago. Today marks the 30th anniversary of his death. Every year I come here to think and remember. This year, I wanted to share it with you by my side."

Kent slipped his hand into Chandler's hand and squeezed it tightly. He was glad that Chandler wanted to share one of the most personal and painful moments in his life with him. It couldn't have been easy for Chandler. "I'm glad you told me."

"You're a part of my life now, Emerson. I want you to know everything. It happened so long ago, but even after all these years, the pain still hasn't gone away. It's the worst feeling in the world when you get that phone call in the middle of the night telling you that a loved one is gone. I don't think I'll ever forget the disbelief, anger, and helplessness I felt as I watched my mother fall to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably."

"How absolutely horrible for you."

"I still sometimes can't believe that my father is gone even after all these years. He was my role model and my mentor. Everything I am today is because of his influence."

"I wish I could have met him. What was he like?" Kent asked softly.

"Ambitious, driven, and always striving to be the best. He could be strict at times, but he was never harsh. He also wasn't the affectionate type, but I knew that he loved me. He was always telling me how proud he was and loved to brag to his friends and team mates about my achievements. When I was a child, he would sometimes bring me into the office with him. He was on his way to becoming one of the most prominent officers to join the Metropolitan Police until one day, everything changed." Chandler paused as the emotions of that fateful day overwhelmed him momentarily. "I'm sure you realize by now that I have many issues and that I can be irrationally obsessive at times. But I wasn't always this way. I began to change after my father died on the job when I was thirteen. It was a terrible day that I'll never ever forget. He drowned in an accident after chasing down a suspect during a failed robbery attempt. They fell off this pier into the water after a tense struggle. The suspect couldn't swim and panicked when my father tried to rescue him. By the time the EMT's arrived, it was too late to resuscitate them. Ironically, my father died trying to save the man who was trying to kill him."

Chandler then turned to look at Kent. "I never cried once or showed any emotion during the funeral or in public. Keeping control of my emotions was the only way I could remain strong. I had to be strong for my mother's sake as well as my own. It was when I was alone in my room that I would often cry myself to sleep those first few days after my father's death. Ever since then, I've been a control freak. Most of the time I can control my obsessive compulsive disorder. But when I'm under stress, it can make my life a living hell. It's like I'm constantly fighting a war within myself all the time."

"My poor Joe. It's no wonder you've always kept your feelings close to the vest," Kent replied with heartfelt emotion. He couldn't imagine the pain and struggles that Chandler kept to himself all these years. It just made Kent love him more than he already did.

"It was hard on me, but it was even harder on my mother. She was so distraught with my father's sudden death that she began to withdraw from reality. She was obsessed with trying to get in touch with his spirit and no matter how much I pleaded with her, it was useless. My mother would constantly be in contact with psychics from far and wide that made empty promises and got her hopes up. Most of them were con-artists that were only after her money. It got so bad that she didn't care about her health and well-being, so I had to take over the cooking, cleaning, and other household chores in place of my parents. I not only had to look after myself, but my mother as well. It went on for years until I began going to university. By then she was a shell of her former self. I had no choice but to place her in a facility that could look after her and take care of her needs full time when I couldn't do it any longer. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make."

"I can imagine how difficult it must have been for you."

"Can you?"

"You probably felt guilty for having to put her in a home and then leaving for school on top of that, while she was still in that condition. That would take its toll on anyone."

Chandler squeezed Kent's hand even tighter. "It wasn't just that. She was only in her late thirties. I felt like I was abandoning her altogether when she needed me the most."

"It wouldn't have done any good under the circumstances. After taking over the household and caring for you and your mother for so many years, you did what was necessary."

"You may be just a little bit biased."

"Think about it. You would have had to put your life on hold when you had no assurance that your mother would regain her senses again. Perhaps resentment would have set in. Maybe you would have put off going to university or not go at all. You can't be so hard on yourself, Joe. Sometimes, even family members need a break and you were looking after her day and night for so long. The hardest thing for anyone to do is admit that they need help. You deserved to live your life as well. And you didn't abandon her. You took care of her for many years and then placed her in a facility that could take care of her needs full time when you couldn't do it anymore." Kent then reached up to cradle Chandler's face in his hands. "Nobody's perfect. Not even you. Don't you think it's time to let go of the guilt?"

Chandler turned his head slightly to kiss Kent's inner palm reverently. Kent had such a calming influence on him. It was like he knew exactly what to say to make him feel better.

"Have I told you lately how lucky I am to be with you?"

"I'll start a tab. Come on. Your cheeks are frozen and my whole body is chilled to the bone. Let's go back to your place and get warmed up."

"Didn't we just make love two days ago?"

"I had reference to a heater and some brandy," Kent replied dryly, taking pleasure in seeing the look of embarrassment on his lover's face. His lover. That sounded so nice. Kent never used to believe in miracles, but standing right there in front of him was living proof that they existed.

"Right. I knew that," Chandler replied quickly before whisking Kent away.

* * *

"Hello? Earth to Kent?" a familiar voice spoke in front of the detective constable who had been staring out into space.

"Sorry Skip," Kent replied automatically when Miles waved his hand in front of him. He had been caught daydreaming again for the second time that day, but with good reason. Chandler had recently been inundated with work and it was going to be his first free evening in two weeks. To make up for his absence, they were going to have a nice dinner and perhaps some 'dessert' afterward. It was their codeword between them for when they wanted to be intimate with each other. But Chandler wasn't quite ready for any pet names yet. Oh well, one step at time.

"You've been out of it all day, Kent. Anything wrong?"

"Not at all. I was just thinking."

"Oh, I know what it is. Are you having trouble with Chandler in the bedroom department?"

"There's absolutely nothing wrong with Joe!" Kent denied vehemently in embarrassment. "And please keep your voice down. Does the whole world have to know my business?"

Miles laughed when he saw Kent turn red. "I hate to break this to you, but we've all known for a while now that you two were seeing each other."

"You're kidding, right?" Kent asked in disbelief and mortification.

"Not in the least. We even took bets on how soon you two would get together a while ago. I won of course."

"Of course. I'm so happy that you could make a profit at my expense, sir," Kent replied sarcastically. "For your information, Joe and I are perfectly fine."

"Glad to hear it. If there was anyone who could put up with that stubborn mule, it was you."

"Well, I guess I do owe you a bit of thanks. I would have given up a long time ago if it wasn't for your pep talk."

"I'm just glad that everything worked out for you two. Say hi to the old man for me," Miles called out as he returned to his office. "And tell him they have the little blue pills available if he needs help with his bedroom problem."

Kent was about to retort angrily, but was deflected by Chandler's incoming text message.

"Just making sure if we're still on for tonight."

"Definitely. I've been looking forward to it all day," Kent texted back. "Is 'dessert' included as well?"

"That depends. After all, I'm not sure if you can keep up with me."

Kent felt his entire body react in response to the less than subtle message. Chandler had proven to be a more than capable lover. Kent had the hickeys to prove it.

"Cheeky monkey. Just for that, no 'dessert' for you."

"We'll see about that. See you tonight."

Kent couldn't stop smiling the rest of the afternoon. He didn't think it was possible to be this happy. But after everything he and Chandler and been through, he figured he deserved it.

* * *

"Joe, aren't we going an awfully long way just for dinner?" Kent commented as they had ventured out of the city limits, past the suburbs, and into the countryside.

"We're almost there."

They had driven a few more miles before entering a gated facility surrounded by lush green hills with several three story buildings in the center of the compound.

"This doesn't look like a restaurant," Kent commented doubtfully as they get out of the car.

"It isn't," Chandler responded softly. "This is where my mother lives. You wanted to meet her, didn't you?"

Kent was stunned. He knew how difficult this was for Chandler, since it brought up old wounds.

"Joe, you don't have to prove anything. You told me about your father already. There's no need to go any further if you're not ready yet."

"I know. But I want to do this. I don't want there to be any more secrets between us. And besides, it's about time you met my family."

They entered the lobby where Chandler spoke briefly with the receptionist before walking down the hallway past a sitting area with tall windows that afforded a wonderful view of the backyard which included lush, green rolling hills and a beautiful garden. They eventually left the main building and went into the garden area. A lone woman with white hair pinned up in an elegant chignon bun, was sitting in one of the garden chairs wrapped in a shawl and looking out over the horizon, watching the sun set over a glistening lake as the evening birds chirped happily. The first thing that Kent noticed was how frail she seemed sitting by herself. The loss of her husband must have devastated her. Kent gulped nervously, but was immediately comforted by Chandler's hand on his shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze of encouragement. Chandler then went ahead and bent down to a crouching position next to her.

"Hello, Mother. It's me, Joe."

The elderly woman turned her head towards Chandler and looked at him as if she was looking at a stranger.

"Joe? That's funny. I have a son named Joe too. You look just like him. But you can't be my son. He lives far away."

"Mother, it's me. I came to visit you," Chandler repeated patiently. He took her hands and placed them on his face. "I'm your son, Joseph."

Emily focused her blue eyes on Chandler and blinked several times before leaning forward to kiss his cheek. "Joe! How nice of you to visit me. Are you on break from university?"

"No, mother. I'm working now, remember?"

"Oh yes, that's right. I keep forgetting that you're all grown up now."

"That's all right. How are you?"

"Oh, you know. Some good days and some bad days. Your visit makes this a good day. So, what brings you all the way out here?"

"There's someone that I'd like you to meet."

Chandler got up and brought Kent over. "Mother, this is a very good friend of mine. His name is Emerson Kent. I used to work with him."

"Hello, Mrs. Chandler. I'm very happy to meet you," Kent replied extending his hand out to her.

Emily stared at the hand but did not shake it. Kent gave a worried look to Chandler, but he gave him an encouraging nod to continue.

"Do you believe in spirits, Mr. Kent?" she asked directly.

"Only in moderation and never taken while driving," he replied jokingly. The elderly woman's expression did not change. This was not starting out very well. "Oh, you meant as in ghosts. Actually, I do believe in spirits."

"Really?" Emily replied, suddenly changing her mood. It went from cautious to hopeful.

"Really. My auntie is a psychic so she knows all about it. Unfortunately, she's not very good at what she does."

"Oh. That's too bad. I've been trying for many years to contact my dead husband. He was taken away from us when Joe was younger."

"I'm so sorry for your loss. I can tell you loved him very much."

"Very much. There are days where I swear that I can actually hear his voice. I've been searching for a way to get in touch with him all these years. I wanted to tell him that I'm sorry."

"Is that the reason why you've been trying to contact him? Because you feel guilty for being alive and he isn't?"

Emily looked at Kent with wide eyes, as did Chandler himself. "How did you know that?"

"I can't really explain it. I guess you could call it a hunch. It's a very human response when we lose our loved ones to experience regret and perhaps guilt. As officers of the law we face dangers every time we go out and do our jobs. But we willing do it because we want to serve and protect the public and especially our loved ones. I can't imagine the pain you've had to suffer because your husband taken away before his time. And no, it wasn't fair. But he understood the risks every time he put on his badge and because of that, he died trying to save another human being. You have no reason to feel guilty because your husband was a good and decent man. And I'm sure that he knew how much you loved him."

"I just wished I could have seen him one last time and tell him face to face that I loved him."

Kent reached over to clasp her hands in his. "I know. But no one can take away the memories you shared together and he'll always be with you in spirit. Take comfort in the fact that you still have your son who needs you and loves you very much. As long as Joe is here, your husband is as well. You still have a lot of life ahead of you Mrs. Chandler. Live it to the fullest and in loving tribute to your husband's memory. I truly believe that's what he would have wanted."

"What you're saying makes a lot of sense. You seem very wise for such a young man," Emily replied smiling gently. It had been a long time since Chandler saw a sense of peace come over her.

"That's because he is," Chandler replied as his heart swelled with love and pride.

"Can you both stay for dinner? I'm sure they wouldn't mind two more people at the table."

"We'd love to. Right, Joe?" Kent replied immediately before he could answer.

Chandler smiled as he nodded in agreement. It wasn't in his plans to stay very long, but the eagerness in Kent's voice made him change his mind. He had this wonderful gift of putting people at ease. In the past, it had been the other way around where Chandler eased Kent's uneasiness during certain cases. It just strengthened the fact that they really did belong together.

* * *

"It was so nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Chandler," Kent said before they were about to leave.

"Please, call me Emily. Mrs. Chandler makes me sound like an old lady. And I have too much life left in me for that."

Both Kent and Chandler both smiled broadly. Kent could see that some traces of Chandler's stubborn streak was inherited from his mother.

"Glad to see you're feeling better. Take care, mother," Chandler said before kissing Emily's cheek. "I'll come back to visit you again soon."

"Will you bring Emerson back with you the next time you visit?"

"That, I can promise you. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, son. Emerson, would you please wait a moment?"

Kent looked at Chandler and nodded to let him know it was okay to go ahead to the car. He then bent low as Emily leaned over to whisper something in his ear. His face registered shock as he nodded in agreement before making his swift departure, while she waved goodbye.

"What was that all about?" Chandler asked curiously when Kent came back to the car.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Tell me," Chandler insisted.

"Your mother asked me to look after you and..."

"And...?"

"And she said that we make a lovely couple. I guess that means we have her blessing."

Chandler's mouth gaped open in shock before throwing back his head in laughter. "I didn't know my mother was so intuitive; the little scamp."

He then lifted his hand to trace the curve of Kent's cheek with his fingers. "You were so good with her. You knew exactly what to say and she actually listened. I was never able to get through to her the way you did."

"I just said what came naturally. It was what she needed to hear."

"Perhaps you inherited your aunt's psychic abilities after all. By the way, I'm sorry I wasn't completely upfront with you about tonight. I know that you were expecting something a little more glamorous for dinner."

"That's okay. I'm really glad I got a chance to meet your mother. I hope that she's able to rest a little easier now."

Chandler stared at Kent fondly. "It's no wonder that I love you so much."

Kent suddenly teared up and looked away. He hated crying in front of other people, but this time he couldn't help it. It was a necessary catharsis after so many years of heartache.

"Emerson? What is it?" Chandler replied worriedly.

"It's just...that's the first time you said that you loved me. I kept telling myself that I didn't need to hear you say it, but I guess I really wanted it deep down. I never thought I would hear those words from you."

Chandler folded him into his arms and rested his chin on top of Kent's head as the younger man buried his face against him, savoring the moment as he was held by his friend, lover, and soul mate. After a while, he tilted Kent's face up and wiped away the last traces of his tears before bending down to kiss him tenderly.

"Sorry for making you wait so long. I love you, Emerson."

Kent broke into a knowing smile. "How fortunate that I happen to love you as well. You know, it's still early. Got any room for 'dessert'?" he asked suggestively while running his hands slowly and teasingly along Chandler's hard chest, making the older man's heart race with anticipation.

Chandler responded by starting the car and flooring the gas pedal as they rushed back to his flat.

* * *

_Later that same night..._

"Emerson? Are you awake?" Chandler asked softly as he tickled Kent's shoulder to wake him up.

"Hmm?" Kent murmured tiredly as he rubbed his cheek against Chandler's bare chest. "Is it morning already?"

"Not yet. Can we talk?"

Kent slowly got up to a sitting position and settled back against the pillows when he heard the serious tone in his voice. "I'm listening."

"I wanted your opinion. I'm considering leaving Scotland Yard and taking the Detective Chief Inspector position that recently became vacant in your sector. I would be in charge of all the detectives and their staff in that area, including Whitechapel. It's not exactly the same as working with the team every day, but at least I would get to meet with everyone from time to time."

Kent's eyes reflected complete surprise as he sat up straighter. "What brought this on? I thought that being Chief Inspector at Scotland Yard was what you wanted for your career."

"That's what I thought as well, but I've been thinking a lot lately about all the things that have been happening. I realized that I made some decisions in the heat of the moment and taking the job at Scotland Yard was one of them. I thought it was what I wanted, but the more that I think about it, the more certain I am that it's not a good fit for me right now at this point in my life."

"Why not come back to us again?"

"You all don't need me anymore. And I wasn't going to remain there forever. Besides, I couldn't take away Miles' promotion now."

"I guess you're right," Kent replied reluctantly. It would have been nice to have the team back again, but Chandler was right. They all needed to grow and learn to stand on their own without him. "Are you sure you want to do this? Commander Anderson thought highly of you to promote you in the first place. You would in essence be taking a demotion by going back to the Criminal Investigation Division."

"That part doesn't bother me. It's just a title. What worries me more is doing something that doesn't make me happy. Being away from you and the rest of the group back in Whitechapel made me realize that I miss being a criminal detective. I miss solving cases and mysteries that are deemed impossible. I miss all the challenges and having to use all my mental faculties. I liked the flexibility of being able to use unorthodox methods at my disposal as well. When people tell me something can't be done, my first reaction is to prove them wrong. All I do now is paperwork, budget planning, and making calls. I'm in meetings most days and rarely get to see anything other than the four walls of my office. I'm practically chained to my desk. It's pretty boring to be honest."

Kent chuckled in response. "Do you realize what you're saying? You actually miss the chaos and disorder. That's an oxymoron if ever I heard one, considering that it's coming from you."

"I never thought I would say this, but yes, I do miss it. The only reason I accepted my current job in the first place was because I was running away from my feelings for you."

"You might be pissing off some people after the strings you pulled in helping to get the promotion for DI Miles. They might not want to consider you for another promotion in the future if you go through with this. They may even blacklist you from Scotland Yard as well. Some people can be vindictive, especially when egos are involved. And especially when they're high up in the chain of command."

"It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. The worse they can do is shoot me."

"Don't even joke about that, Joe. Don't you remember that DCI Cazenove was one of the bad ones and he tried to kill you?"

Chandler leaned over and kissed Kent's forehead. "I'm sorry. I just meant that there's nothing they can do to me that would make me leave the department. After all, I used my persuasion with them to allow Miles to become Detective Inspector, which he rightly deserves. I don't think they'll be in a hurry to get back at me, if they know what's good for them. The good thing about this move is that I'll be able to work with you again which is a definite plus. And my office would be just a stone's throw away."

"Not that I mind, of course, but wouldn't that be a conflict of interests? As I recall, you had quite strong opinions about the appearance of favoritism."

"What we do before and after work hours is our own business. As long as we don't let it interfere with our work, I have no problem with it and neither does Commander Anderson for that matter. It's less of an issue now anyway, since you're no longer under my direct command. Don't you think it's possible for that kind of arrangement?"

Kent thought of Casey and DS Lawson's relationship and replied confidently, "Actually, I do think it's possible."

"Even it was an issue, I wouldn't let it stop me from being with you. You're more important than any job."

Kent smiled fondly at Chandler. "You've come a long way, Joe. All you used to think about was being a fast tracker and making a name for yourself. You were so resistant to changing your ways. Now you've realized what makes you happy and you're doing whatever it takes to make it happen in spite of the risks. And you've also learned to move on in spite of your past. That takes a lot of courage and conviction. I couldn't be any prouder of you than I am at this moment."

He gave a small squeal of surprise as Chandler slipped his arms around him and shifted his weight so that Kent was lying on top of him, squirming in familiar delight.

"What do I get as a reward?" Chandler asked playfully.

Kent began to caress Chandler's chest with soft butterfly kisses, loving the little moans of pleasure that he made in response. He then moved upward until he reached Chandler's waiting lips, sharing a long, deep kiss with him.

"As a reward, you get ME," Kent replied after they separated, confident in Chandler's love for him.

Chandler smiled contentedly as he stared into Kent's beautiful eyes and saw a future filled with anticipation, hope, and most of all, love. Oh, he knew that there were going to be unforeseen challenges and the future wasn't going to be all wine and roses. But as long as Kent was by his side, he wouldn't have to face them by himself. That alone was worth it.

"I think I can live with that," Chandler replied softly as he leaned forward to nibble seductively on Kent's ear.

"Joe, stop it. You know how that drives me crazy," Kent protested, but didn't move away as he moaned in familiar delight.

"Mm hmm," Chandler replied as he continued his pleasurable assault on Kent's senses. His lips traced along the pulsing vein on Kent's throat, making the younger man's heart race.

"I'm serious. We both have early meetings in the morning and need to get some sleep. Didn't you get enough 'dessert' earlier?"

"But what about my reward?" Chandler asked giving Kent a hurt look on his face.

Kent gave up. He couldn't deny Chandler anything when he gave him that look and the older man knew it.

"Cheeky monkey," Kent replied before kissing him passionately.

They ended up getting very little sleep that night. And neither one of them cared.

**The End**

* * *

Upload Date: 05August2016 PST

_A/N: I'm sad that it has come to the end, because this has been a fun ride for me. But I hoped you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it._

_It was very therapeutic for me as well since I was going through some tough times. Your support and encouragement helped me through more than you'll ever know. Thank you again for reading and I hope we meet again soon. Until then, take care. Kent/Chandler forever!_


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